Dream About Cruise Ship Ice Cream Pool Dogs Duck Suicide

We were going on a trip as a family so we were on a giant cruise ship that had an ice cream shop and big blue pools I had brought my dogs with me except they weren’t my dogs in the dream they were baby ducks and I had to keep a close eye on them but while me my dad and my brother were hanging out around one of the pools I went to go see if I could get some ice cream but it was closed though there was a lady in the stall so I asked her if I could get some ice cream anyway to which she replied that I could and asked what kind I would like I ended up picking vanilla bean and a bright blue ice cream that I’ve never seen before and then after my dad and brother got some ice cream I asked if I could have a tiny bit more of the blue kind to which the lady smiled and gave me a little more I thanked her and went to eat my vanilla ice cream but when I turned towards the pool my baby duck Remington was in the pool I freaked out and tried to get him out but nothing was working then he swam closer to a little boy the boy then started to get scared of the baby duck so I tried again to get Remington out of the pool but instead Remington then pooped in the pool everyone started freaking out and screaming about it which was really strange to me as I didn’t think it was that big of a deal it was gross yes but it was just a little baby duck poop in a pool it wasn’t going to kill anyone so I went to grab him when my dad stopped me and said that this was the last straw and that my dogs that were ducks couldn’t stay and he had to kill them I dropped my ice cream and gasped they didn’t do anything wrong he just pooped I started screaming and saying that he couldn’t kill them they were my babies and I loved them he couldn’t kill them but he ignored me I didn’t see it happen and I don’t know for sure if he did but I believe he killed my baby ducks I started crying but I felt empty and hopeless and angry and upset that I felt there was nothing left for me so I decided to kill myself but when I voiced my intentions and tried to run off to do it I was stopped by my dad he grabbed me and hugged me to his chest not letting me go I started becoming hysterical I was sobbing and fighting him trying to get away and when I finally did I tried to jump off the ship and drown but was stopped again this happened several times until finally I was chased/taken into on of the hotel like rooms on the ship and they then locked the door one of my sisters were in there to they didn’t know what was going on but I didn’t tell them I tried to jump out of the small window in the room but then fell onto one of the beds a cried myself until I was too exhausted to do anything