Grief

28 Oct 2024

Dream

Had a dream where it seems a force was after my mom. We were walking on a sunny day outside of what looked like various stores. Two of my aunties were not feeling too well and mom were notified about this. The dream then changed to living room & bed room. Mom was sitting on a couch telling me she was only one person and she could take but so much. I promised then to protect my mom. Mom then lied down to go to sleep. Various manisfestations started appearing and I started fighting. A young caucasian couple helped me too at the end. I think they were from a scary movie where they had to fight as well. I walked out of the room where mom was sleeping & i peeper in every now & then from the living room but i did go too far. In the bed next to my mom’s was what looked like a baby but i knew better. It was something sinister that looked like a baby. I grabbed it & threw it onto the floor and punch it until it was no longer there. One of my aunts was surprised cuz she thought it was a baby but i told her it wasnt. I looked back in my moms room & a lady that looked like my mom was lying next to her but she was much, much older & she had grey hair. She was holding my mom s hands. I immediately pulled her off my mom & folded her in half as if she were clothing. My mom seemed peaceful. But then, as she slept, two small snakes appeared in the nearby bed. I immediately grabbed them & pulled them apart. I even bit them. Several others were on moms blanket. Me & the young couple started pulling them off mom s blanket and destroying them. I woke up knowing that although i may be battling through grief & my own battling with my sexuality, i know that my mom too is grieving. While i lost my grandpa and grandmother, they were here parents for 60 plus years. I woke up knowing that i would fight for my mom & i know i need to fight for myself too

19 Oct 2024

Dream

Dream app, it's me again. I'm just going through some grieving process. I keep thinking about my uncle and how he helped me so much. It's just hard to get through things. Because he'd be so happy for me. And I think of Pei Pei constantly, but I know she's doing fine. I get signs from the universe. But it's just, Uncle David was the best. And I'm seeing newly found pictures of him in my phone. And I just miss him so much. Because I know he's with me. And he would never want me to stop working on myself. But I just miss him so much 💔💔💗💗. And it's tough because I took the vaccine. And sometimes it makes me cry it’s good for me but has the depression effect on me. And sometimes I think the Dream app is the only thing I have working for me. Because no one else can talk during the day. So I just do what I can. I just miss Sweet Uncle. And I wish he could see my progress because it makes me so sad. Thanks for listening. Thanks. Have a good day. Bye.

14 Oct 2024

Dream

Dreamed of being in church again. Delvin, me, and our cousin Adria were singing. It was a theatrical type song (almost dark and serious or relective type song) where we likely only rehearsed one time. Delvin sung his part & then Adria. A film of some of the older saints were playing while we sung. We were suppose to sing Adria’s part one more time and then end the song but then Delvin went off script and wanted me to free-style a verse. Before I sung my part, this older woman named Mother Brooks began to sing or testify about the older mothers too. Interestingly enough, Mother Brooks passed away over 10-years ago and I had not thought about her in several years. The song again was a song of gratitude for the saints who passed away before us but it was somber & dramatic and intense. We were on the choir stand and Delvin led me down to the front of the church. As I began to sing, I noticed it wasn’t my voice. It was my words but the voice that came from my vocal chords were that of and older woman. It was as if it were the voice of one of my ancesors. I began singing through her voice or perhaps she was singing through me. I began singing that I was grateful for holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord. I then said I was grateful for the ones who had gone on to Glory before we did. I then said I was grateful for Mother Washington (my grandmother). I stopped at her name because my heart was then so very heavy. I missed my grandmother soo much! Many in the church were pricked in their hearts too and began to be expressive through dancing in the spirit as we call it in Pentecostal churches. When your heart is overwhelmed, you need an outlet to let it out. I couldn’t say anything else after I said my grandmother’s name and I began to wept profusely and hug my cousin Delvin. It was as if the pain of her no longer being here was alive and shook me to my very core.

9 Sep 2024

Dream

I was in a school. It looked more like a hospital. But also had an old Kmart attached to it. I was feeling grief. I had 2 old flip phones. I couldn't find one and I was so upset because it had a voice of a loved one that passed. I feel that voice was my husband's although in waking life he is alive. There was a school trip where we went into historical houses and were documenting paranormal activity. We had cards we were supposed to fill out almost like a competition.

16 Jul 2024

Dream

An insight into my dreams I had . Never had a choice to leave school, it wasn’t an option. I had to return and be in close quarters with threats (bullies) they bullied me in person and online which probably felt like I couldn’t escape feeling unsafe (tigers, lions outside) because I still had threats coming in via phone. My abusive marriage has a similar theme— irrationally felt that I had no choice but to stay- feel stuck- even though there are periods of intermittent positive reinforcement. I believe that I truly will never be able to let him go and not be in love with him for the rest of my life. These two variables cross into a distorted dream version of my reality. I am always trying to collect my things and escape but I can never retrieve all of my belongings (heavy grief is associated with the feeling of leaving important items behind) and even when I do get out to a vehicle with my stuff I can’t carry it and the car never works/comes to get me.

12 Jul 2024

Dream

I was in third person, but following the story of Deadpool, but as if Deadpool was also me? I was looking into my first lair, and then I bought my first box full of cans of this alcohol lemonade? Or spiked soda. Then I was helping out with a daughter and her packing meals to deliver to her school. I completed that. I called Peter Parker, and was going to ask him for a favor, when he says he was going to ask the same. Peter’s girlfriend is giving him hell, and he needs somewhere safe for him and his mother to live. And I said, “tell you what, I won’t kill your girlfriend, I’ll offer you my house as sanctuary. You deliver these meals to my daughter’s school. Deal?” We agree, explore the city, falling but catching myself unharmed picking up more alcohol and Peter and his mom. There’s at some point a dramatic shift in days, ballpark, and such. We find out Peter’s mother is dead…and Peter is grieving. I am (as Deadpool) aching for his pain, but I will grab a can of alcohol…and head out to fight who killed Peter’s mom. On a mission, enraged.

19 Apr 2024

Dream

Dreamt that I was with a group of family and friends. There was a brother and sister who were really close. We were going shopping and navigating through a rocky desert. Most of us were in one large group, but the sister had gone off with her father to another part of the desert. There was an explosion, and we saw a plume of dust. Then a head with long, curly red hair fell out of the sky onto the rocks. My dad and I were quick to try to surround and obscure the head so the brother wouldn't see, but he'd seen enough. He was decasted that his sister was dead -- they were incredibly close.

25 Mar 2024

Dream

Two lions were walking through the vast desert, there was a silence between the two, until one dropped dead and the other sat there and sobbed, then it was wolves, and deers, but it was all the same, one died, leaving the other to cry and greive their lose, the world became small in the span of three days, and through the next week everything started to break down, nothing could be fixed, the human existance was nothing but mere history, an omnipotent darkness fell over Earth, the sounds of howling from greif echoed through the air as a strong wind swooped through the Earth, the trees swayed and the leaves fell, the green blades of grass turned burnt and brown, nothing was left.

23 Mar 2024

Dream

My husband is worried I'm going to leave because family took something out of context of what I said. I had a dream that I left because of the drama and him not doing the work o stay sober and doing the work to come home. I want to help but not let it be all on me. My kids are iffy on wanting dad home. I felt like in my dream I was a terrible mother and that I should leave but I felt so much grief and loss and felt like I made the wrong mistake.

25 Feb 2024

Dream

A water park/aquarium awarded my family free tickets. Me, my daughter, my two sons and their father. We had fun viewing the exhibits and learning about their research on on ocean life. The main attraction was a new species of killer whale raised in captivity and experimented on to allow it to eat trash in the oceans and reduce pollution and oceanic waste. We were all so captivated by the discovery and their exhibition that we didn’t notice my youngest son slip away. He somehow had gotten into the whale tank and was swimming and splashing. The handlers and whale also noticed at the same moment. We all tried to get to him but the whale was faster and I watched in horror as my son was eaten. I fell to my knees in horror, grief and shock and began to cry. His father came to me and after a moment shrugged and said “welp. So what are we gonna eat tonight?” I stared at him in disbelief as I continued to cry.

6 Feb 2024

Dream

I had a dream where me and some YouTubers, some I knew and some not, and we were in a game like The Long Dark but modified. We we descending a warehouse and taking turns distracting a wolf while we looked for supplies. At some point it was only me and one other dude and I was briefly alone in a neighborhood above ground with a female friend. When we went into a house she was killed by a ghost similar to Phasmophobia and I saw 4 POVs of her death, 2 from each of us. After that I had a dream that my dad returned this rubber/resin figurine of his dog to Target to get a new one, and also got two puppies and some dog supplies while we were there. Target let us watch ads to get a dog house. My dad didn’t want to spend too much money on supplies because his mom kept using his money and not paying him back. We ended up getting a few supplies most notably dog treats that helped dogs get over grief. He was also a small streamer in my dream. I remember more but these were the most important moments.

22 Jan 2024

Dream

My dad.. he died almost 2 years ago VERY unexpectedly. In these various different dreams he appears in, the scenarios are always different, but never negative. I miss him every second of every day.. & these dreams do nothing but cause me more anger & sorrow & grief & to miss him more when I wake up.