Addiction

8 Nov 2024

Dream

I had a dream i went to a bar and my old roommate (who in waking life struggles with addiction) was employed. Her coworkers and her were very rude to me and it made me very angry. They stole my cannabis and I was yelling. I remember in my dream, my old roommate was sitting in a car yelling at me about how selfish I am (I kicked her out when she started using around my kids in waking world and owed my family rent money), and in my dream I wanted to get violent. I was yelling and swinging my arms but no hits were landing while she was sitting in the car. I kept asking for my cannabis back and she drove off. It was strange because I have no malice towards her in the waking world and honestly hope she heals and gets clean.

11 Oct 2024

Dream

I dreamed of being in a spiritual game. I was testing out shooting through hoops of which will give me points and what doesn't. And I figured out the game and how to win points. Then I dreamed after the game that we were to take a break. We were all outside taking a smoking break (I never smoke) and it seems addicting that I was looking forward on the next break to go back to smoke again. In the middle of the next break, I could feel myself being addicted or wanting more and I was shrugging it off like I was okay with it. Then there was a speech to announce about encompressing so there was a swim talent show and I was in a line down the escalator, but I overheard other people with superior talent and I was panicking because I thought it was a swim race, not a talent show. I wasn't sure how to show talent in swimming. Then I woke up

3 Oct 2024

Dream

I had a few different dreams that kind of all tied together. I haven't been dreaming because of this pregnancy, but finally starting too as i leave 1st trimester. In my dream last night, the person that was the opposing force shifted between 3 different people, 1 is my best friend who I Am having underlying issues with in the waking world due to her addictions, and the other 2 are people who I've only met a few times but are the sweetest women. At the beginning of the dream i was on a bus going on a steep off roading adventure to the point where the bus was almost directly tipped with the back in the air as it climbed down a mountain. At some points it was almost going over the side of steep embankments. Once we got where we were going, the opposing person, who initially started off as 1 of the kind women and i were making friends. Im not sure how but i said something that this person got upset by and she eventually shifted into the other kind woman, and then into my best friend. we were infront of a computer and she posted a bunch of awful things about me in a public group but blurred out my name to garber sympathy towards herself and hatred towards me. I wanted to defend myself but remember thinking to let it go. She had other people rallying that i was a horrible mom and didnt deserve my children and called me disgusting. I have had a similar experience in the waking world with a woman named georgia and i still hold sadness around that sisterhood wound. I remember in my dream, feeling like i was suffocating and waking up hyperventilating

30 Aug 2024

Dream

I went to bali. We were in a very popular place. We got attacked. I was the ice man. Kept freezing the attacker. He spit into 100s of droplets of water and effected alot of people. They all became him. My friend and I jumped in the car and drove away. He jumped in a ton of cars and started racing us. My friend didn't realize we were getting smashed by the same person. I was driving a skyline around. I just got some weed and was going to sell some. I seen my friend doing some awesome kite surfing. So I wentnto meet him at the store. My skyline was driving all over the place. I had no control. It end up in the river. I was stuck with no way out. So I woke up.

28 Aug 2024

Dream

First dream, I was in a neighborhood and I had a party with some friends. They stole one of my neighbor's motorhomes and like drove it into their yard. And they got in trouble at the club and we all ended up leaving at different times. But when we got back to the house, I realized that they had caused this huge mess and had been very disruptive to the entire neighborhood. So I had to go around and apologize to everyone for it. The second part of my dream, we were driving somewhere, but I was going down this really narrow road. I swerved and I hit someone's fence and it like fell over. And we got out of the car and said sorry. I gave my insurance information. And the guy who owned the fence said, well, you know, this fence costs like $100,000 and you don't carry enough insurance for that. So we can make a deal and you could just have a baby for us instead since we can't. And for whatever reason, I said, yeah, I'll give that a go. Even though I know I can't have a baby, but I don't have $100,000 to fix their fence either. The other part of my dream was watching my niece, Juniper. We were doing various activities and she was walking and she kept walking away from me and I kept trying to catch up with her. And I lost her like multiple times at this MASSIVE garage sale. And the last part of my dream, some kid was getting made fun of because he got his hair cut. It was like a bowl shaped haircut. We were trying to make him feel better by putting it in like warrior braids.

24 Aug 2024

Dream

In the stream, I was with a group of friends they had an apartment and they seem to be a younger kind of crowd like maybe early 20s there’s two females who I was having a lot of fun with, but they didn’t necessarily get along in the dream I was trying to do a shot of meth and I wasn’t able to do it at first, but then I did and then I didn’t feel anything and then the other girl did it and she did and I got mad. Also, there is these sets of sneakers. They were like vans or something but there's a collector set and they came with two different shoes in them and they were styled with the McDonald’s character grimace the big purple guy in the sets they would have one with one emotion and one with another motion so you would have two different style shoes on your feet, although they were all purple, for instance, 1 would be happy when will be sad or when will be mad and when will be happy or we will be crying and we will be laughing and we all had these shoes at least the girls did. I was wanting to get some stuff to wear to go out with them and I didn’t have any money, but I had my my paycheck that I needed to cash and we are trying to figure out where to go that would cash checks after 7 PM so that we could go out and do something that night. That’s when I woke up.

19 Aug 2024

Dream

I visited these sisters in the hospital. One was dying and the other was healthy, the one that was dying I talked too for hours it felt like, we laughed and cried, but she died at the end, and then the dream changed, the dead sister turned into a dead cat, and I was crying so hard my chest hurt. We weren’t in the hospital anymore we were in an old broken down house, in a hidden back bedroom. The dead cat was laying on the window sill. I left my old stuffed dog that I owned as a young kid there with her, and I covered her in a blanket. I walked out of the room and I closed the door and I put a blanket over it and I pushed a dresser in front of the door so nobody else would go in. When I left the room the other sister was there. I said to her “it felt like your sister was apart of my family” and she said to me “my sister was a drug addict and it would be a shame to stay here and become just like her” then I woke up

11 Aug 2024

Dream

For context, I am in recovery and used to be a fentynal addict. Last night I had a dream that I was in a strange place and ended up in a little corner with a few people. I had a giant bag of fentynal and gave it to everyone to try and did some myself. I then narcaned the few people who tried it because they started to overdose and I flushed the rest down the toilet. I then called my sponsor crying begging her to not make me re start my day count of how many days sober I had. And I was extremely worried about losing my job due to relapse.

3 Jul 2024

Dream

I’m in a public health class. It doesn’t quite work for me, though during the class we go down a river and someone like chase Romero tells me to leave my mouth open while swimming. I’m worried about dirty water but then I realize no different than air. I do. In another class and the teacher is wondering if a kid in the class is drinking or something. I ask him. He says no-using needles and smack. A guy comes by early evening n the morning he says and they do a little to help him through the day. I feel a little shook. the teacher’s husband wants her in rehab cause she sees visions. I say at least stay with someone. I believe you are okay though. You’re not mentally ill. The classroom has no windows. We are putting our names on list. To go back and join with the other class that I originally came from. I need a student there who I knew from before and we are going to work together. I’m excited.

1 Jul 2024

Dream

My uncle is having a going away party for Madonna. I am really excited to meet her. I decide to give up my 30 days of sobriety and I’m drinking a margarita. I drink it quickly and am waiting to feel the effects of the alcohol. I am excited to be a part of everything and am walking around the room taking selfies with everyone

23 Jun 2024

Dream

I saw a unicorn again in my dream, he said he didn’t hate me even though I was raped. He said if I needed a friend I could call for him in my dream. That’s unicorns could still like me even though I’m impure. Though he said he thought I was pretty pure I was at a camp, with kids of all age ranges. I felt like the only adult though. It felt like Camp Shamina but there was like weapons lining the walls, armory’s, open fires, people fighting/yelling, and like war horses? Interesting fucking camp. I started off hangin with Rose, but then she turned into Olivia and she wanted to introduce me to her Blonde guy friend. He kept staring at me with this interesting expression? Like he wanted to know something about me. He had really pretty blue eyes I wanted to take a picture. Me and Olivia shared a waffle with strawberries and whip cream 😋 it was so freakin good Anyways I met another guy He had a dark aura about him, actually trying to recall him is next to impossible, like I can see his face but it’s all shadowy I can’t remember any features. He seemed real Gruff and stoic? Possessive? Dominant? Yet he kinda went along with anything I wanted so it wasn’t really that intimidating in my opinion. Ima skip past the beginning and just yeet myself over to my time with him. I’m not sure how it started but he said he was my stalker. He said a lot of things really but all I could really focus on was his body. And then he started touching me. Kissing and licking and it felt so good I sorta just melted into him. All I could think about was how badly I wanted him. He was a bigger guy- super muscular and maybe scary looking? He didn’t seem that way to me though. I actually liked his personality quite a bit. He was rough and all I could think was I wanted more. I was out with Olivia and her guy friend. It was this tall blonde guy with glasses. Home bro crashed it and was like I’m taking Brianna home. One thing lead to another and we were having sex. I just wanted more, more more. It wasn’t enough, I felt addicted. He had a bit of a rough personality but compared to most people in my dreams, he seemed to actually respect me, and my body. I have no idea what he was thinking as he was fucking me but he seemed to think that once was enough. But as I dragged him upstairs into the duck bathroom I assured him I needed him to keep fucking me. I wanted it raw. And as he lifted me into his arms, his cum dripping down my ass from when he pulled out. It seemed like he was ready to give that too me. I was really embarrassed though. I worried he thought I was gross. Though when I had the thought it was like he could hear it and it shocked him. 🤷‍♀️ I can’t remember how he replied to me but I think it was something like “You crazy girl.”

23 Jun 2024

Dream

Picking up my used drug needles in front of dad