Emotions

16 Jul 2024

Dream

I was waiting for something to happen. The government was changing and not in a good way. Love was declared a disease and religions were under attack. There’s a procedure, a lobotomy really, which took away a person’s ability to feel emotions on a deep level. The phrase “better doesn’t always mean better for everyone. It always means worse for some.” Kept running through my head. I was scared. I didn’t know how to resist and I didn’t want to lose my ability to feel

26 May 2024

Dream

My work colleagues turned on me and told me they dislike me and think I’m attention seeking for self harming and not managing my emotions like when I feel depressed or suicidal My best friend also turned on me and told me she also hates me and I was all alone with everyone treating me like shit I was isolated and alone due to everyone confronting me and telling me how much they dislike me I began self harming by cutting my arms with a Stanley knife from work

6 May 2024

Dream

Im on thr train with all these celebrities while they are young. leonardo dicaprio, tom cruse, and vin disel. My assigment is to go back in time, dropping of these kids at different locations. Including school. Their adult selves of the future know im doing this. Im back in time undercover to complete this mission. We are all in a small van/bus. Drop off the young vin disel bus at jr high school that is in semi dangerous neighborhood- Then the dream transitions into a second dream that feels like a present reality. In the dream i become friends with MMA fighter connor mcGregor. We are friends because i am one of his handlers on the movie set “road house.” I get asked to interview and discuss what it was like working on set with him and Jake Jillianhall. Then later on in the future, I interview him on my podcast called “breaking bread”, my podcast show. We do the interview at my house. Its a mansion dream house. Open concept living kitchen dining that looks into the yard with a massive salt water pool. i invited every guest to come with their children and families. He was annoyed with his wife. He went outside to look for her with the kids and she wasnt with them. She was in another area of the house we found her she seemed down and sad. I reminded him they could stay. That was the plan. I told him i would show him my mom’s room and the house. My mom had a huge room, she was in the shower so i couldn’t show that but she has a seperate nook for everything. A kitchenette with an ice machine and it was colorful and mostly peachy and sparkling. An area just for makeup and hair brushing that was huge. And a massive closet. The room was the size of an apartment. This part of my dream felt so real. Then i told Connor ill put the kids in the 4 bunkbed room. His wife was already in there sleeping. We talked about marriage and how is hard to know more shot things because money gets in the way, but i pointed out he was grown and we all need to mature.

3 May 2024

Dream

I dreamt I won dancing with the stars and the dancers and nd I cried hugging each other and I felt so intensely protected and co regulating my emotions through him I just wanted us to Kiss. My friends and I were dancing on stage and the teacher put us on for a freestyle. I was extremely shy at first but then went for it and was doing horrible at first really and then a bit better. The teacher was throwing water at us to keep fresh and as I was dancing sexy she threw water on my pussy and I felt so hyped up like omg that’s what I’m living now it’s so great it’s such a core memory thing. There was also a pregnancy

2 Apr 2024

Dream

I was with my dad in the car and we went to a gas station I went into the gas station when I came back out a gun had fell out of my pocket but I didn’t go back to get. When I got back in the car my dad asked if I still had it when I told him I dropped it he told me to go get it and a loud voice said I don’t want to and my emotions became strong I went back to get it and I was grabbed by 2 men and they dragged my to the trunk of an suv and but me in the back I shot both men and went back to my dad. He was irritated at what happened and he drove me away but there was a parade so we couldn’t get to when I needed to go so he told me to go on foot to the trail station and I went

26 Mar 2024

Dream

I kept waking up in the middle of the night last night, worried and scared. having emotions from my partner coz he didn’t come home again and I think he’s cheating on me.

19 Mar 2024

Dream

I’m in this room of an academy and I felt like there was something off, but I ignored it. Then there was a door and a woman was at the door and she asked a boy to go and get the best workers from a nearby orphanage so in the morning the kids can go to this academy too. There was two girls that got roomed with me, one was a black girl with two puff balls on her head, the other girl looked strangely like the woman who ran the school, she had a sharp nose , blue eyes, blonde hair, but unlike the headmistress she had blue, pink, and red stripes of color in her hair. She was really kind and when I first went into the room she hugged me, but when she hugged me I could feel all of her emotions flooding into my soul. Weirdly any time I touched or hugged someone I could feel every feeling they had being leached from their bones and swim into mine. The woman was nice at first, but one time I walked into the room and she had the blonde girl by the hair. And she told her that she better focus on her studies instead of drawing. The girl pushed the headmistress away and into a wall. As the headmistress leaned against the wall I hit her with a rock. Thinking it was the girl she yelled do you think that you can hit me. So I responded by saying no she doesn’t but I do. And I ran at her and jumped on her back. She tree me off, an grabbed a needle from my desk. So in response I grabbed a pair of rusty scissors. I grab the girl and we run downstairs together trying to escape. But at the bottom of the stairs there looked to be a purple mist. Then I saw a phone with a text on it from the headmistress that said getthem. I knew that the fog was designed to make us fall asleep. But me and the girl ran through it like it wasn’t there. But I could hear singing. As we got to the edge of the property we started to run even faster because a woman was running after us. Still we kept running until we got to a nearby town. It felt like we’ve been to this town before though.

8 Mar 2024

Dream

My dream today was about immigration. One of the girls in the group of girls that I hung out with in high school isn’t documented, Yesenia. One of the other girls in the group is an ICE agent or they work with them to get people deported, Sylvia. Anywho we all met up again at one of the reunion functions but it ended up taking an interesting turn. I guess sylvia was looking for Yesenia and so me and the rest of the friends were trying to hide Yesenia from Sylvia. It was crazy, one of Sylvia’s people eventually found us in the bathroom but I tackled him and held him down so that she could get away. We found Yesenia as well as Sylvia and we all ended up having a heart to heart about it. Everyone was mad at Sylvia and the emotions were very high. We also found out that Yesenia was pregnant. I ended up offering to adopt her child if anything happened and she had the baby before they could deport her. We were all crying by then including Sylvia since I had kind of chewed her out about the job she has. I woke up after that.

3 Mar 2024

Dream

I barely remember bits and pieces since I should've recorded this as I woke up from my accidental 4 hour nap but here it is. I was with another girl and some dude with some sort special abilities or power but I wasn't there as me, rather an entirely different person at least externally. The dude wasn't necessarily like an enemy or antonganist from my point of view/towards me but also wasn't necessarily with or on mine and the other girls side either, like a chaotic neutral kind of character with a little unsure back and forth between goals, intent, motives, and action/behavior. Always difficult to tell and almost fickle in that sense but nothing too worrying for me at least. The three of us ended up together along mine and the other girls 'mission' and journey to do/find something like a truth and I believe shut something no good down. He just kind of ended up there, with intent that was clearly not trying to 'help' us but not necessarily 'against' us either and with his own motives that are more or less unclear but not really threatening so we were oddly comfortable with him in our own ways aside from some occasional bickering and what not. I am unaware of the backstory of the three of us and our affiliations with each other but I knew that much as far as how we all got on with each other and what we know of each other's characters. For some reason I couldn't physically stand at first, in a wheelchair and something had happened in front of me a ways away that I wanted to see out of disbelief and like a hope. It seemed like an act of kindness and positive change being shown from the random people idly there and I remember feeling disheartened just a moments before this with a lack of confidence and insecurity with my own capabilities and luck. He knew this and seemed to try to lift my confidence and hopes up in his own subtle though direct way. Seeming satisfied when I without any help quickly stood up and managed to even walk a little towards the scene which brought on a lot of emotions in me and determination. There was a time skip to me, him, and the other girl ending up in this giant flooded sewer like area where normally people aren't supposed to be for many safety reasons as well as it not being built for that. The water was practically up to our chest and really strong and big like waves, it was scary but I remained nearly unfazed by fear as we waded through the gushing water into the next section of nothing really different. There was a different little opening though quite big to the side like that of a sewer system that had a red light illuminating it to a high powered fan that would indefinitely kill us if we ended up there. I got stuck somehow being pushed by the water towards that opening and getting dangerously close to the terrifying death trap that was, I was panicking and anxiously yelling "guys-!..." in a way that was more alerting rather than a plead for help. They stopped in their tread and looked back, the other girl with a worried expression and the guy with an alerted expression though the guy had managed to very quickly make his way towards me and manage to save me somehow (probably with the help of his questionable strength and mysterious abilities) he helped me out and towards the other girl where we were supposed to be more or less on our way to wherever we were going. The other girl let out a relieved sigh with a faint smirk as she said to me, "You seem to be constantly helped by him"(something along those lines with the same concept and leading tone). I felt a little embarrassed and irritated with myself at the notice of that and realization of my incapabilities in comparison to them, ultimately feeling a little flustered and embarrassed but also really insecure about possibly not being independent or self-reliant and capable enough. I am always quite independent and self-reliant and with every intention to be at all costs but this made it seem as if it weren't enough to be or at least wasn't in these moments. There was more but it gets more difficult to explain further on and more difficult to remember accurately as it is very detailed to begin with and complex. My conscienceness kept going from in the dreaming state to being more aware and in tune of 'reality' and waking life though never actually waking up, more so like just my mind but I never really opened my eyes or felt the rest of my body wake up like such regardless. Due to this it felt like my conscienceness was being pulled in and out of the dream similarly to that of waking up and revisiting/recontinueing the same dream the next time you fall asleep, making it feel like such without having actually.

17 Feb 2024

Dream

It started as a wedding. I didnt know who the people were. The woman had blonde hair in a bun on the back of her head and she has 3 or 4 children. All ranging between the ages of 2 through 12 based off of appearance . Her husband had short brown hair. They were standing in the ark and i was taking pictures of them as a family. I think they already went through the ceremony and were just recently married and thats why we were taking the pictures. Everything goes black and the next scene i see is the husband using his right hand to hold onto the tree. He was using his left hand to hold onto a bunch of red ballons that were getting mixed up in the trees but trying to float up into the sky. He kept screaming “i wont let it take them!!” That or he was screaming “i wont let him take them!!” I had my blue brush with me so i started throwing my brush at the balloons to pop them and then bubbles started surrounding me so i started hitting the bubbles with my brush and then everything goes blank again. Just to be clear when i started hitting the balloons i had this feeling that it would save them, like i could not let them go in the sky. So when they popped and i saw bubbles i started hitting the bubbles to help save them but i think we ran from the bubbles which would explain why i felt afraid of them. Next scene it is night instead of day now and the wife and children are gone, i think they turned into the balloons that i popped. All that is left of the family is the two youngest boys, the father and myself. There is a two year old boy and a four or five year old boy. They both have dark hair. For whatever reason we are hiding infront of a house. While looking at the house i have this feeling that its our house. Like i know these people and i know where they lived and i know who i was. I look over to my left which would be the right side of my house and i can see a wired fences and i can see the sidewalk and street through the fence. I asked the husband where the wooden board was. I say “wheres the wooden board? Shouldnt we keep it up so people cant see us.” Looking back at my dream i feel like that was kinda silly, we could have just hid in the house. Right at the minute though i was really concerned about the board being on the fence. As i was asking him this i saw a guy walking up with a gun. I think he had two guns. One in each hand. He asked us something about our feet and then he leaned down and pulled up his pants leg and he was wearing boots and they were backwards. He asked what we were doing and the husband said something about were just a bunch of kids hanging out and something about our coach and making out. Im pretty sure the husband sensed we were in danger so he was trying to pretend we werent us. The next scene after that is us being in the house and i instantly have this feeling that people are looking for us. In this scene he is changing the kids name. He changed their first names but he left the last name the same which i thought was strange. After that i woke up and tried to shift the dream so the rest of the dream i dont believe it was trying to share a message, I believe the rest of the dream was led by me. In my dreams i feel emotions. When im in a deep sleep i can feel my feet hit the floor, i can feel the wind blow across my face and i feel something else. I had a dream where a bad man kept telling me i love him and when he grabbed my arms i felt a dark wave go through them and when i woke up i still felt it. I e been shot in a dream too and woke up with the pain of where i was shot for a couple hours. I have a tendency of taling what happens to me in my dreams into reality.

17 Feb 2024

Dream

I had a dream that my Nana wasn’t really my Nana. She had been “missing”, but really was in hiding and when she showed herself, she was a lot older. Smaller. She was hiding with a guy named Valentino. Nana looked a lot like Stacey’s mom, Susan….and in fact for a few moments that’s exactly who I saw standing in the closet with me. I hugged her really really tight and had a flood of emotions. Only because I was realizing that I didn’t just miss the real her, but because the Nana who’s I thought was her for a long time really wasn’t her and to think that she had missed out on so much of our lives. Our .. meaning her grandkids. I remember her balling her eyes out when she was talking to Papa about not being able to see Sophie, their cat. She said it was really hard not being able to pet her, but Nana would occasionally check on Sophie and yet, Sophie always knew it was her. She recognized her, eve from a far. Nana knew because Sophie would perk up and get excited and maybe meow every once in awhile. I kept hearing Nana say “It was so hard not being able to see the ones you love everyday.” When she said that I immediately thought, “Why come out of hiding now?” The only thing I didn’t get a chance to ask because I woke up.

15 Feb 2024

Dream

I was arriving at school and apparently it was my birthday. I felt like a normal day. People were telling me happy birthday and asking what I was doing to celebrate. Everything was fine until a teacher came up to me. She looked like one of my old teachers. I don’t remember her name, but she had purple/pink color changing nails. She grabbed my by my arm to get my attention, and immediately when I saw her, I started crying. Like snot coming all out my nose crying. She then hugged me tightly, and wished me a good day. The emotions felt so strong for some reason. I don’t why I dreamt of specifically something like that.