Depression

25 Aug 2024

Dream

dreamed I was going to school, like some kind of college, but the school I was going to was for people who had special talents. Mine was that I could handle guns really well, like expertly. I had been born with it. I dreamed I was basically in a firm and I had a crush on a guy who had the same ability as me, but we were both really shy so we didn't know how the other felt about each other. Also, in my dream I was thin again and loved to wear pretty dresses and high heels. There was another guy, one I absolutely hated cause he was such a jerk. He challenged me to a talent show, but Hus talent was far more complex than mine. here is the trick, if he won, he would become engaged to me. I didn't know any way to beat him so like 4 days go by, its the competition, and he beats me. I am in shock, but hes clearly thrilled. I kind of just get used to it. Everyone in my dorm thrilled for me but I start getting really depressed and angry. I'm basically getting ready to mrry this guy and no one has asked my opinion. I go to my room and see that the guy I had a crush on had sent me a gift. It was a sniper rifle, one I didn't own. I start sobbing in my room, but I use the strap to put it on my back anyway. I go to bed, but the next day I've determined to basically go on an adventure to find myself to see if I could handle living with this guy I hate. Everything about him just sets me off. I get on a bus with a friend and it goes around the city I live in. I meet a girl who sits next to us and she has a gorgeous incandescent dress. I'm sitting next to her when the color changes, and though I don't know her, and felt uncomfortable when she sat next to me, I tell her that her dress is a beautiful shade of indigo. She smiles and we start talking. hours later, me and a bunch of girls and the girl with the dress are all talking and we are discussing her dress. She says its purposefully incandescent so that everyone can see her dress in different colors. Eventually I go home, and the not nice guy I'm supposed to marry is there. he decides we should go to a concert together but its music I don't like, and I get mad at him. He makes me go anyway. We get there and there's a nice girl who obviously likes him, and they're getting along great. He asks me a question and I just grumble at him an he grumbes back at me. Suddenly we're are back in our dorm and my cousin is visiting (a cousin I've always had a crush on), and he tells me conradulation, and asks me how I'm doing. I tell him I'm doing great and I plaster a smile on my face even though, at thus point, I'm feeling miserable. The guy I'm supposed to marry barely knows me and he's a complete jeAt any rate, some how at the end the guy I'm supposed to marry let's me call off the wedding. I'm over the moon, and I go talk to the guy I have a crush on. We get along really great. Then I wake up.

16 Aug 2024

Dream

I was on a dating app and matched with a guy who we hit it off immediately we were automatically best friend's and started dating, he then told me he was straight, had major depression and diabetes so he couldn't always get hard on command and didn't always feel like having sex and wasn't sure he could be sexually attracted to me, I told him relationships weren't built on physical intimacy and we could do whatever he was comfy with whenever he felt like it, he looked at a naked girl for bit to get hard and then we banged.

26 Jul 2024

Dream

I was kissing my guy and it was like it was happening, I wasn’t watching like a movie how dreams normally look. He kept trying to pull away and look in my eyes but I wouldn’t make contact. He’s going through a depression so we aren’t talking a lot or spending time right now. I woke up confused.

25 Jul 2024

Dream

I had a dream my sister’s boyfriend , Derrick, had a church inside of his apartment complex. You had to pass it to leave his building. Me, and my nephews, Erik, and Elias, had spent the night with him and my sister, Amber. Before bed, Erik had went missing. Considering he had a history of running away, and being a curious kid, we figured that he had explored the place in his free time and must’ve gotten lost. So, me, Elias, Amber, and Derrick decided to check the church to see if he had been there. Halfway into the church, Elias said he didn’t want to look for him, because it started to bore him. He had been skeptical about the whole thing because Erik tends to play pranks. He then turned around, and skipped off. I chased after him up until we got to this gigantic door which led to the apartments. It had closed on us. Then, I realized that we’re all in big trouble. Something was off about this place. To begin with, it wasn’t an ordinary Church. It was abandoned in 1908. Yet it remained open to the public because it was a tourists attraction. The history behind it was bizarre, a posessed nun who had been in the building took her own life due to depression, and some say her spirit remains uneasy, and vindictive. Leeching onto humans, and sucking the life out of them to live the one she never had. I took Elias’s hand and ran towards Derrick and Amber, but something grabbed Elias. I don’t know what it was, but I couldn’t hold onto him much longer. I was alone, and scared. I kept running, even faster than before. I knew Amber and Derrick were in danger. But an instinct kicked in, I didn’t know exactly what. But, I knew that I too would be in the same position if I helped them. I ran out of the nearest exit in the church because there was more than one. I ran back to the apartment and slept the night. I couldn’t believe what happened, but it must’ve just been a bad dream. When I woke up in the morning, nobody was in the house. It was silent. I checked Amber’s location, to see if she had taken the boys to the store, or a local park. But, her location icon was blinking in the church, and disappeared. I rubbed my eyes, this can’t be. Then I received a text message from her, but surprisingly, it wasn’t blue. It was in black. “Time to repeat the cycle.” and all of the memories had flooded back to me about church. They were dead. They’re gone. Then I thought the nun, I did hear humming and singing in the church beforehand. But way before Erik went missing. It was her. I know it was.

15 Jul 2024

Dream

I was in this unfamiliar house. My estranged brother was showering upstairs. It was a long time that my brother didn't bathe cause his clothes was very musty but he also seem to not care. There was a long period of time my brother wasn’t bathing enough in my waking life and was often very smelly. It was really hard to be around him because he smelled so bad but it also seemed like he didn’t care. I went upstairs and his clothes was on the bathroom floor very stinky he went to the other room to get dressed. At some point it felt like my brother morphed into my abusive ex and he was getting dressed in the other room. Similarly to my brother there were long periods of time during my relationship with my ex where he didn't shower or took care of himself. He suffered with severe depression but it was often hard to be around him cause he smell so bad and he wouldn't shower. I had to adjust and get used to his lack of bathing because of his mental health condition. Due to his abusive qualities early on in our relationship he started to control when I would bathe. And I sometimes had to sneak to shower before he can tell me not to. Back to the dream I remember myself sneaking to take a shower because I was scared my abusive ex was going to force me not to bathe because he preferred my scent unbathed which I hated. I woke up before I finished the dream. But I remember the feeling of anxiety and worry of being forced not to bathe and trying to hide away from my brother then abusive ex.

12 Jul 2024

Dream

I was in my house. I was speaking to two friends and each of them were describing the house they rent. Then my father came and got in bed and we were trying to ask him how his apartment was. He seemed very depressed. But he said his apartment was cute. I felt sad and guilty for him.

29 Jun 2024

Dream

I don’t remember as much of my dream. But I remember I was staying in this attic like place with my abusive ex. I went to a hospital-like place I was seemingly working there. I was looking for another job which I think would be my third job. I was wearing an outfit that I think was nice. And my co-worker and friend who I don’t recognize in real life but seemingly was my friend in the dream told me you look good girl and told me I needed to take a picture. He snapped a few photos of me and I remember I started to feel really good about myself. I realized I didn’t want to go home cause that’s where my ex is at. And he probably was doing nothing at home. Maybe playing video games and being depressed which he typically did. When we were together in real life he played a lot of video games and he suffered with severe depression and suicidal ideation. I often felt obligated to him. Anywho my friend encouraged me that I should leave him because I’m taking care of him and me even willing to take a 3rd job while he did nothing. Which is true IRL except I only had 2 jobs. I went back to the attic-like place we were living in ready to let him know I was unhappy being and living with him and he needs to leave. The next dream I remembered was logging into my full-time job on a weekend for a meeting. I was in this warehouse type place. A lot of executive folks were in the meeting. And I joined the virtual meeting but I was completely naked. I spent most of the meeting thinking the other people in the meeting didn’t realize I was naked because I didn’t look at the screen of myself at some point of the meeting I looked at the screen and I was completely naked. I rushed to turn off my camera and put a robe on. I didn’t think anyone noticed because no one said anything in the meeting. Then at some point towards the end of the meeting one of the executive leaders said they were going to speak to me and felt I was going to get in trouble. Then the next thing I remembered was me being in a room with this US white female military officer who I knew somehow. She was working closely with this commanding officer at another country’s there was an operation that went badly and she sensed the US was covering up what happened that day and blamed the other country so she started working with the foreign commanding officer to get to the bottom of it. At some point this commanding officer became a Black woman and I was speaking to her and I told her you need to let this go because you and your family is in jeopardy if you keep snooping around on US operations that they want to keep secret. Also working with a foreign commanding officer is also putting her in jeopardy. I also asked her what if the US isn’t lying and you find out they were telling the truth and the foreign officer is lying. I think you would’ve invested time on something that would’ve disappointed you. She told me she would be fine her son who I think is a teenager just started dating someone and he’s happy. And she wouldn’t let anything drive her away from where she lives today. We both got really emotional about her son dating someone and the fact that he’s growing up. Then I connected with this other guy who is in his her team who told me he was nervous of all the time she’s spending with the foreign officer to uncover this truth. Because he has a deep crush on her and now he’s worried he lost his chance because of all the time she’s investing with this foreign officer maybe now they’re falling for each other. I think I told him I will find out for him. At some point we all went outside and we were living in this very cold city. Very city-like, like where I was born and raised in Boston and cold and snowy. We decided to go for a quick walk and one of the team members I was also friends with was going really slow and the other ones went faster than her. They all smoked cigarettes but she’s the one that smoked the less but was the slowest. When we got back I told her you need to do more exercise; she needs to walk at least 2 miles a day rain or shine to get her momentum up. All the other team members agreed. We sat down at this outside coffee shop and decided to order food. It was really cold and I think it was snowing but we still decided to eat outside. I had very little money in my spending account for the week until I get paid again and I think I already had lunch so wasn’t that hungry so I decided to only get a hot drink. One of my friends there sat with us and then told us she’s gonna go in to work, so she worked there. She rattled off the specials and told us she will be back to take our orders. I re-arranged where I was sitting. I noticed the red lobster near us was closed down. My last dream was me being walking to the city bus station. I was again in this very city-like place unlike where I live now and looked more like my hometown of Boston. I walked past this building I thought was beautiful and where I wanted to live next. I get to the Bus station and a lot of the buses that came were taking a break. I remembered it was really late like past mid-night but the station is still pretty crowded. Several of us went through this bus to get to the other side. I was behind someone and the bus driver put this sign on the door after some people went through the bus to get to the other side and close the door before the person in front of me was able to cross through. I decided to go around and eventually I noticed the bus driver reopened the door and let the person in front of me cross through and he was leaving the door the open so I can do the same. I can’t remember if I went back to cross through or if I kept on going around but I did make it to the other side. And I was waiting for the next bus.

15 Jun 2024

Dream

I was playing a game as a mother for her child (the game was in a cartoony style) and the mum had a husband and they were always fighting with each other. The daughter asked me ‘Mum, why are you and daddy fighting again?’ Super duper innocently. I can’t remember what I replied with but then I played as a boy who was in a village and he wanted to feel the ocean and it reminded me of the movie ‘Moana’ because she wanted to explore over the seas. However, I kept on getting caught by the chief of the area. The area was remote but it had houses of course since it was in a rural area. I then managed to escape and then I jumped over the sea on to the land. Soon, I found a cliff and jumped so powerfully I drowned deep into the water. Then I played as someone else but I never knew what happened to me when I drowned earlier because there was no conclusion but I assumed that I just lasted in the sea and died there looking all sad and depressed. I then saw another remote village and then I woke up

11 Jun 2024

Dream

I had 2 dreams. In the first dream, my grandmother who passed away was in her room sitting on her bed. A few of her grandchildren came in her room. She told us in the dream that it was important to pray to stay connected to God. I kneeled down at the foot of her bed and listened to her. I bowed my head. I woke up from the dream and the thought came to me about being humble. I went back to sleep and had another dream. Alot of us young adults who are best friends and cousins were in a really nice, fancy hotel in Myrtle Beach South Carolina or some beach hotel. We gathered in the room & we were talking and eating. We sat on a couch and the phone rang. It was my mom checking on me making sure I was okay. I told her I was okay and sat back down on the couch with my friends. Someone then walked through the door. It was my mom. I was shocked that she and my dad would drive 3 and 1/2 hours just to briefly check on me. She was happy to see me interact with my friends because I had been depressed for 2 years ever since my best cousin passed away. My mom assured me that the distance she traveled didn’t matter as long as I was okay. I was doing better but then i thought about how much my mom loved me because of the distance she and my dad traveled to see me. I also thought about my best cousin who passed away and I began to cry. My friend Ralph who I dated and am close to began to comfort me and hug me as the tears ran down my face. What’s interesting is my best cousin who passed away was on the same couch with us! It was as if he never passed away. I miss my best cousin so much.

8 Jun 2024

Dream

I had a dream of my dad needing to go the hospital but then his face fades and his face is blurred and I tell my mom his depression must be back when his face is blurred which my dad is mentally sound and very healthy and he has to go over his shoulder which I can fix my self his demeanor matches my best friend and its really hot outside and we end up going in an ambulance

8 Jun 2024

Dream

A man who had my father's face but then the face faded and he had to be rushed to the hospital over a shoulder injury that I could fix in a place I've never seen before then later on I said mom it's just his depression when my dad doesn't have depression

27 May 2024

Dream

I was gambling with my dad and friends. My dad won $150 dollars from me and I got really upset. I was very sad and depressed because I lost that $150 dollars, so I started thinking about commiting suicide and I did cut a smile on my face like the joker. After my meltdown I had to go to a school assembly and I was covering my mouth because of the cut I made