Childhood

8 Nov 2024

Dream

I was at a waterpark that reminded me of somewhere I've been as a kid and I was at the top of the water slide. I was chatting with a whole bunch of people who would go down the slide just to grab something on the other side. And the only way out from the other side is to come back up the waterslide. So people would impossibly go down one by one and come back up while other people were on the slide still, and they were begging me to go with them. But I remember having this dream before and I didn't fit into the end space so I drowned and I was afraid of that happening again so I just stood there being scared. As I was standing there, the people would look at my legs and knees in disgust. I looked down to see tattoos all on my legs, colorful and glittery. I was also disgusted as that was not my style. I was also super scared because I didn't remember getting the tattoos at all nor being at a tattoo shop. I kept telling the people how scared I was because I was losing my memory and it seemed like no one cared, as more and more tattoos popped up on my body. When I looked up again, all the people were gone, and my internal voice was telling me to go down the slide. Again, I was scared, but without people judging me, I went down. I found myself at the end of it, able to fit into the caged box at the end of the slide. I thought that it wasn't as fun as it was when I was a kid and able to fit down here, but it was cool that I made it. But I wasn't able to travel all the way back up the slide before I woke up

3 Nov 2024

Dream

I have dreamed of that I was seeing a video of myself when I was a little girl and I was at the video in a row waiting and then I saw my little self crying and then mum came to see why and then I dreamed I was taking a lesson with many students and we were waiting for the teacher

28 Oct 2024

Dream

My family and I were sleeping in a building were there was other people in it. I think we were in some homeless shelter or camp but the building had a two class rooms and a lunch room between the two rooms. I went to both rooms on different day; so I was a kid in this dream, and we get to choose which class room we went to but the teachers will be upset at whoever was in the other class room. I remembered I went to space on a ship and saw some sci-fi stuff and I kept it to myself cause I referred the place a church and I don’t think they will reacted to it very well.

12 Oct 2024

Dream

So just before I slept. I was lost. I wanted to cry but couldn’t. And it was because my day was foggy and I had a brain fog (where I’m just in my head or on my phone most of the time) because I was missing some parts of my pasts while remembering some bad stuff that happened too. And I wanted to cry I wanted to feel something because I had my parents loss their affection on me. And my little siblings were the only ones in my life have they been giving me hugs and kisses. And I wanted to feel something, to feel loved to feel pain to feel like I’m loved. So I tried to cry to feel something. Since my parents didn’t gave me the affection I needed anymore, I kinda lost the need to cry or to feel this love in my chest. So it was hard to cry whenever I wanted to. I did cry but only a little. Till…I had this dream. I think I had a dream before this dream, but I forgot about it already and it’s not important anymore. But this dream was. As I had a horrible time with myself, I had a dream where I was in this place as a kid. And there were other kids. And it seemed like there were these adults who were watching us? It kinda felt like an expiriment on the kids. So me and not a lot of kids just a couple were like in this HUGE circle room where the walls were high and was made of glass. I think there were adults at the glass watching us but I didn’t pay attention. And there were very few adults in this glass room with us. It seemed like there were only 4 maybe?? There might be more but I wasn’t also paying attention to that. That’s when I think something happened to the place and I think I was trapped?? But I managed to escape and I’m not sure where the other kids were. I’m pretty sure there were somewhere but I didn’t pay attention to them because I saw this- kid. They were trapped under a table with something small with them. I think it was an infant or a little dog? I do think it was a baby dog because of something that happened later on my dream. So I saw them, and I went to try and help them get out. I think there was an Earthquake because I remember seeing stuff falling from the ceiling and the ground shaking kinda. So I tried to helped them out but I think I was struggling a lot. I also think I remember having an adult come up behind me and started to say how I was so weak because of how much I was struggling and while giving me answers on how to free them but in a tone as if they saying “oh my gosh you don’t even know what your doing let me just tell you the answer if your that dumb” And I finally got the person trapped out. But I also think the adult that was talking to me was in my head maybe and not came behind me?? I dunno. But the person who was trapped was thankful that I freed them and didn’t react about the adult who talked to me so maybe it was in my head? I believe we escaped the place with the little dog and I believe something happened after that- and I may had forgot but there was a next scene and it seemed like I was in a house. I think I was now a teenager now like I am in real life. Dunno if in my dream I was a bit older. But the person I saved? We apparently build this house I’m in and now we’re living together. And now there’s this big fluffy dog with us. Seemed like it was the baby dog earlier on. And we were just living in our house together in peace. We were happy together and had a close friendship. But maybe our friendship was more or maybe it was just me in my dream. I remember there this moment where we were both sitting together doing something (I forgot what it was) and I think I managed to lucid dream here or just be able to control myself in this dream in this part only. And I may had found out I loved her and that if I did, I should make sure she knows. And at this moment I managed to control myself in my dream and moved my head to see her face. I remember her having short hair that seemed that she had cut it. It seemed like a messy haircut but it seemed to fit her. I don’t remember much now of what she looked like but I remember just staring at her and thinking how beautiful she is. Maybe she saw me staring and I went back to what I was doing or she never looked back at me and I just stopped staring. But then I lost control to my dream and a next scene came. It showed what our house looked like outside. There was a balcony that I was in and we were both outside because there was something going on. Our house at first seemed like it was floating- and maybe it was floating. But I remember seeing a thin wooden line that connects the bottom of our house to the grounds that was covered in snow. And maybe that was what was keeping the house standing, or it was a rope and our house was indeed floating and the rope was keeping the house from floating away. And just beside our house were a few other houses (I remember seeing 3 but there could be more) that were also having something below them like ours did. Me and (my friend? Lover? Our relationship was weird. We were friends but it seemed like we were in love with each other but didn’t said anything yet) friend- went to the balcony to see what was happening on the ground below us. And it seemed like our neighbors were doing the same too. It seemed like people- adults or kids?? It was foggy and there were dressed in something that made me not be able to see what they were. But they were bothering us. And annoying us because I remember feeling annoyed. But it seemed that it was common to have them come and annoy us because we were just whatever about it along with the neighbors. I think me and my friend went back inside- till a next scene came. I don’t know if me and my friend went out or we were just inside our house, but someone came. We didn’t knew who this person was and I had forgot how we found this new person, but they were a stranger to us and we didn’t trust them. And they seemed like they didn’t trust us too but they said they needed something/help? I forgot what it was, but the three of us went out to find what the stranger needed. Me and my friend had our guard up the whole time. We reached to a place where houses were never on the ground but were either floating or had something to let it stand. But I couldn’t know what it was. I guess when I was in the dream, I knew what everything was so I never questioned it. But since I obviously don’t know this world now that I’m awake, I’m unfamiliar with it. But me, my friend and this stranger went to this house in this town? City? It seemed urban like. And the door opened. An old man came in view, I don’t remember what the old man looked like now but I seemed to be familiar with him in my dream. Me and my friend were behind the stranger who was in front of the old man. We didn’t say anything till the old man spoke. He said “What are you doing here?” He asked the stranger. “I know who those two are-“ he nodded to me and my friend. (Remember I said before the scene where it’s after we escaped the place and I said there maybe was something that happened after that and then the scene of me and my friends in our built house came later on? That’s when I think something did happened when the old man said that) “but who are you?” The old man finally asked suspiciously at the stranger. But then I unfortunately woke up- It seemed that either I forgot what happened after what the old man said- or nothing didn’t happen afterwards because me waking up interrupted that.

9 Oct 2024

Dream

I was playing outside in the schoolyard of some school. I was kind of alone and there was this other gangster guy who was by himself frustratedly playing with a ball. He was mad bc the adults were punishing him for his bad behavior a lot. I didn’t have a ball to play with and he was kind of hogging the ball so after he threw it to this trash can to make a basket and it bounced off I grabbed it and started playing with it which drew his attention toward me. When the ball that o threw had bounced far off in the field I noticed him notice me isolated and alone as I went to go get it. On the second time the ball bounced far away over a fence into a barranca beyond the field I noticed him follow me out to get the ball. He was looking around making sure nobody saw what he was about to do with a evil violent grin on his face as he came towards me. He took his time seeming to help me look for the ball and I couldn’t figure out how he was going to hurt me so I asked him “you’re going to try to kill me now aren’t you?” And he said “ look at your hands.” He showed me a plant and said “ this plant paralyzes your limbs and neck so you can’t scream and fight and all it takes is a few pokes from the plant” I looked at my hands and they had five or so poke marks in them. I tried to get back to the school but I couldn’t move. I started panicking and the more I panicked and struggled the more I turned into a child, a younger child that wasn’t me and I dissociated and saw myself from above, almost like through the gangster bullies eyes but couldn’t do anything while he was about to murder me. The child me flapped his hands kind of like a bird trying to get move while crying and then I was woken up by someone in real life.

9 Sep 2024

Dream

it’s morning and I am going down the hill that is near the ocean the whole region looks like it’s around Yokohama I’m with people that I was classmates with during the fifth-seventh grade To name them, it’s Fumié, Maka, Sara, Mariko, and Hirai-san The hill looks a bit retro, a bit Showa-esque, like from the Ghibli movie ‘From Up on Poppy Hill’; it looks like a port town I see tin roof, laundry-hanging poles, the laundries, toy plastic hand windwheels, junk snack shops(駄菓子屋) We have a merry chat and race down to the bottom of the hill at some point When when we get to the base it looks like a mix of the area around the Tokyo station and Hachioji station(so there’s crowds of people, traffic signals, station malls, neon signs) When we look back at the hill that we came from we realize that it was far longer and far steeper from up top than we thought it was We go back up, at least up to the first and the second traffic signal on the hill slope that we see We enter the building owned by Hirai-san‘s family It’s old, the entrance is kind of narrow, there’s indoor staircase leading up to each floors’ entrance Most of the people I came along with already kind of went up before I could Me, Hirai-san and Mariko get back down to the first floor midway through because we wanted to go to the bathroom(I was lowkey peeing myself from holding it in for a while) I think the two noticed but they didn’t say anything about it to keep me from being embarrassed And so we finish our business, and here I kind of noticed that both of the girls are actually male anatomically And while I finish my business last and lightly runs my piss-soaked underwear, dirtied stockings and a portion of my uniform skirt(we’re all wearing the uniform from our Elementary school, the indigo-navy sailor uniform) I wonder if the rest of the group could secretly also be biologically male My mind wanders a lot more when the thought came to being about the possibility of Fumié being an anatomically male person(probably because I used to have a crush on her as a girl) So we finish our business and we go up while I sort of just keep wandering confused about why everyone is male

2 Sep 2024

Dream

I had a dream that I was going back to school to the first grade even though I am 25

30 Aug 2024

Dream

I visited my childhood best friend who we no longer speak. I left my car in a parking lot and stayed with her for a few days. It was very uncomfortable. I was packing my bag and trying desperately to find my phone to get directions to where my car was so I could get there and get home

20 Aug 2024

Dream

In my dream I was in a large shopping centre looking for a new pair of shoes as one of my shoes broke, my mum was getting stressed as she was getting stressed out that she couldn’t find the right clothes for herself as it was meant to be for a neighbours birthday. Later I had a dream I saw these two boys I went to school with and the where chasing me in a playful way but then we all ended up on a road where there was a large truck that approached with 3 men getting out, the driver came out with a gas mask on his face dressed in a blue jumpsuit and the two other men he was with where also dressed the same, he was trying to handcuff me and the two other men he was working with where taking out things like mattresses and iron boards to tie us onto

19 Aug 2024

Dream

I was in the forest at a familiar route that always comes in my dreams. I was running away from some men because I didn't want to get raped. They were getting closer and closer and I find myself floating above the ground and I start swimming on the air as I float higher and higher. As I do this, my speed increases with great intensity. I dream about my childhood friend and I was greeting her. And then I was at my home gathering my clothes and school books from my grandmother's house moving to my mom's house. My cousins and a guy that often comes but I don't recognise in waking life is also there again but I have to keep on reintroducing myself because he always forgets that we have hung out. He seems to always remember Dylan well but never me. It makes me feel unseen and neglected because all I want is to get closer again and have meaningful conversations. This is more or less the gist of the dream. In my village there are many people of different races and ethnic groups who live there.

18 Aug 2024

Dream

There was a spider burrowed on my leg and it turned out he was a sentient alien to show us the error in humanities ways and he brought each of us with a specific problem. I believe mine was anxiety. If we tried to kill the alien spider it would kill us. Torchwood was trying to figure out how to remove them from our legs but didn't attempt it because they wanted to be fully sure that it would work but someone who was cheating on his wife got scared and tried to kill it so the spider set him on fire. The five of us and torchwood were in an airlock on a spaceship. I was using a journal that the spiders gave us and Jack Harkness was talking to me about my anxiety and childhood but I don't remember anything else about the conversation we had. Then I woke up.

18 Aug 2024

Dream

A super close guy friend, who isn't a real person in real life, and I are playing a version of tag alongside a bunch of other kids (I think I was my younger self here) in this house and I've been sticking beside them a lot however I got a little insecure whether this friend wanted to be arpund me sp I let them run off while I read a Superman comic, but my absence was noticed in the end and I stopped being doubtful of the friendship. Then in the present day as my adult self another close friend of mine, Naomi, and I were on riding the bus and reminiscing about our young selves and how puffy we were when we were in secondary school.