Dream About Deer Nursing Baby Hospital Bed Grandmother

This dream was about

In this dream I was visiting a zoo/hospital. I stop at the nurses station which is a regular nurses station but it is outdoors. She points behind her to a hill where a large deer like creature is nursing her baby. She points out that one of the horns had been broken off - which it is. "She is still feeding her baby." The nurse tells me. I am overwhelmed with compassion and respond, "because she loves him" I say. "It's true." the nurse responds. She says I can go up to her if I want. I do and start to approach the deer. On the way however, I'm distracted by a hospital bed out in the field, on which my grandmother Helena is laying. She has been dead for several years, but this image is of her towards the end of her life. She is frail and wearing a light blue shirt with white sheets pulled up to her chest. A halo of white hair frames her smiling face. It looks a lot like one of the last pictures I have of her. I walk over to her bedside instead when suddenly I can't breath. I'm not just struggling to breath, I am struggling and cannot breath. This goes on until I wake. In that time I remember trying to call for the nurse. Considering how long I could hold my breath. Feeling the point where I would normally panic. And experiencing a couple seconds past that - which I believed were hypothetically possible. And finally wondering if I would simply pass out. And wondering if once I did pass out, if I someone didn't help me start breathing again, would I simply die. Could I resign to this?