Heart

24 Jun 2024

Dream

In waking-life I have only daughters. In my dream I was taking my youngest two daughters to a modelling agency, to see if I could get them signed. The girls were dressed impeccably, with their hair in golden curls and they were behaving demurely and politely. They modelling agency was in an old building, very elegant and refined with polished wood and antique furniture. The women working at the agency were also impeccably dressed and coiffured. There was soft classical music playing. The whole atmosphere was of quiet refinement. All of a sudden there was an electric guitar riff that shrieked through my dream, and my heart sank as I knew what was coming - I knew it was my sons (that I don't have in waking life.) From around the corner on the street outside, a double pram careened on two wheels, and raced towards me. Nobody was pushing it, it was propelled by the raw energy of the two toddler boys strapped into the side-by-side seats. They were laughing uproariously, spraying potato chips and drinks out of the pram as they sped towards the agency. They were sticky with peanut butter and other food, their hair was standing up, and they were pure wild energy. I thought "thank goodness theyre strapped in" and was relieved to see that the pram was too wide to fit through the modelling agency doors. I felt no shame of my sons, I was proud of them, but glad they wouldn't be able to destroy the serene environment, that it was safe from their wildness. I turned to the women running the agency, and with great dignity and a genuine smile, I gestured to these wild creatures outside the door and said " ...and these are my boys." They nodded mutely, aghast. I woke up laughing.

22 Jun 2024

Dream

There was…we were staying at a house…there was a Japanese man and Woman…I guess we were staying as guests? We kept going from one part of the house to the other.. Then there was an apocalypse like situation? Where I was fighting with blades and such while swinging about different enemies. Then I was in the 3rd person…someone gave me or an android 2 rifles…which was able to take out targets miles away… Then this pink haired android…was captured after much fighting…there was another white haired android seemingly an enemy? But despite her struggles, the pink haired android had her heart ripped from her chest and deactivated…while the white haired android…took on parts of her appearance… A disagreement over Oprah having been in the hospital…a gacha-like game I won several. Genocide was mentioned…a plane…? Small creatures were also around…friendly. …a flood?

20 Jun 2024

Dream

I can’t remember how my dream started, but I do remember it had something to do with a maze. I think dream me signed up for some maze runner competition or something like that. Anyway, let’s get to the part that I do remember. I remember walking through the maze, trying to find the exit. For some reason, most of the rooms were very small and had either toilets or shower heads inside. Sometimes the room would have both! Anyways, I go through a door and find a crawl space on the other end of it. I crawl through it and find a giant room with a bunch of boxes and other junk. There was a square hole near the ceiling of the room that I was supposed to go through, but I decided to explore first. While exploring, I found a weird looking toilet underneath the square hole. The base of the toilet was fine, but the water tank section was all messed up. It was really high up and was connected to the toilet by a single pipe. There was also a rope connected to the handle so that the toilet could flush. Now, this part of my dream is a bit fuzzy, but I remember complaining about the design of the toilet and water filling up the room. I can’t remember how the water got there, but I do remember someone else appearing with the water. I think they had something to do with it, but I’m not completely sure. Before I could ask the guy what happened, the water started draining through a giant hole in the floor and took us with it. The two of us went through the drain and rode down the water like it was a waterslide. Then, we crash land on some wooden structure. I’m not entirely sure what it was supposed to be, but it looked like it was still being built at the time so that’s probably why. Anyway, after crashing on the structure, the guy and I were met by the owner of the structure. She got mad at us and said that we were trespassing on her property. We tried to explain ourselves, but she threw us into metal cages before we could. While in the cage, I noticed these little heart-shaped charms by the base of the cage. They were also near the lock of the cage. I ask the lady about them and if I could keep one, but she said no. Then I mumbled something about how much I wanted one and the lady went berserk. She started yelling at me before moving my cage into direct sunlight and putting a guard in front of my cage. I sat in my cage for a while until I noticed that my family was nearby. I knew that they could help me, but I also knew that the guard wouldn’t let them get close to me. So, I sang a sad song to distract the guard and make him cry. Then, he left so he could properly handle his emotions. After that, my family walked over to me and asked if I was okay. I told them that I was fine and they opened the cage door for me. After that, we home and my dream ended.

20 Jun 2024

Dream

My mom who passed away March 23, 2023 was greeting me into a garden lots of flowers vibrant colors. There’s 2 huge castle like arches, and in the background, there was like green, and like country with the white sheets of linen, just blowing with the breeze of the air, lots of flowers, and she was showing me pointing with her arms in the air look look where I am, I am fine! don't you worry about me. Then she proceeded to show me that our hearts were bonded since I was a little girl and she was always gonna be with me. The hearts were , floating in the air with flames coming from the ground blowing up and holding a crystal jewelry box outlined with gold trimming and inside there was like magenta colored blood gushing from the sides, but the magenta colored blood stayed inside the box and there was 2 hearts that pumped at the same time and that's where she said” I'm always going to be with you because our hearts were bonded since we were a little girl, I'm always gonna be with you”

16 Jun 2024

Dream

In my waking life I am crying now bc I thought of how it was when my dad and I would go see a Stephon Kings it movie with the clown 🤡 and I’m crying bc I miss my old relationship with him and my Mom I hope I can rekindle that it’s almost as strong as the significance and profoundness of Pei Pei. I thought of how he’s tickle me when the funny Pennywise part came up and we’d joke I hope I can rekindle this and reunite bc that thought made my heart ❤️ sink bad I felt an unworthiness and unholy mess and I’m just a mess and so sad and confused why I’m thinking I’m depressed 😔 when really I can fix it.

7 Jun 2024

Dream

A bunch of fashion girls (models) were all hanging out in a house on maple street in garrettsville. They also had ninja skills. We had a rivalry team. They came over and started killing every one. It was night time. Someone told me my mom was outside while we were in the middle of this war. I found her slumped hiding between two cars that were parked close together. I asked her what was wrong she said nothing. “ life is too start, make sure you don’t live according to others” she said after undoing her shirt and a bandage wrap I found out it was her heart. It was beating inhumanly fast. I knew she was going to die soon and so did she. “It’s okay, I have made my peace with death” she said. By now I was screaming and balling my eyes out. Then the scene changed and we were walking down a shop alleyway. There was tarot reading shops, crystal shops, the old school genie in the box. Everything looks like it had a tinge of gold. Some of the models were with me. We walked to the far back shop which was a dress shop. We were looking for dresses. I happen to look at the dress next to the seller and it was the one mom wore that day when she died. It was gold with a few shear gold glitter puffs goings through it. Kinda like princess Belle but strapless. I fell to the floor and cried and sobbed. The receptionist said “ I’m so sorry, I will lock the door to give you some privacy “ I cried for a good while and then I woke up.

7 Jun 2024

Dream

I was strapped to a seat in a research facility in a hospital, including my face. Then a small equipment continuously punched the tip of my nose to break my nose. Then I was in a place high up, and I could not get down. It was on a mountain of rocks and the rocks cut into my palms and it hurts when it bled. From up above, I could see down below, my nieces playing around the mountain beds in a carefree manner without fear. Meanwhile, my heart felt like it would jump out of me.

6 Jun 2024

Dream

Listening to P Diddys song I Need A Girl Part 1 made me cry and whimper like a baby. I thought of how innocent and sweet Pei Pei is and how I hate to see her photos so sad and unhappy, she has a lot of material things but feels she doesn’t belong in the city no friends it didn’t break my heart it disentefrsted and vaporized my very fibers of my heart ❤️ I hope she’s ok I’m really worried about her. I miss her bit more importantly I want her to be happy and ok.

6 Jun 2024

Dream

i was selected to go on a space mission with a group of people with my mom and jason. we couldn’t say no bc this was like a military listing sort of thing, so we had to go. when we got there the air wasn’t oxygen, it was something else but you could still breathe it for a certain amount of time before your heart gives out. the government packed us all heart transfusion thingys, when you feel your heart giving out, you puncture your heart with this contraption, and then put the machine on top of the patch thing, and it helps pump your heart in their environment. when we got there, we went to look around. i believe it was their capital building we were in, the hallways and floors were all white, almost looked like a mental hospital. but we went and started gathering materials that our government needed for science and research, and they started getting mad at us for picking at their walls. so we ran for the elevator to go back to our room, and i felt my heart getting weaker. i said “mom i feel like my chest is getting compressed”. she grabbed my heart pump, and put it in for me. it hurt. when we got in the elevator, the crowd was yelling at us. we went down to our room, and somehow my pump wasn’t on. it was like we got loaded into a different realm lol. anyways we got to our room, and i felt like my chest was about to be flattened, it felt like i was under one of those big cruncher machines. jason looked at me and said “well put your pump on kid or you’ll die!”. i hated putting it on because it hurt. i grabbed the pump and was slumped over the bed, i held it above my heart and was hesitant. mom said “just do it!”. i slowly brought it closer and closer and felt it puncture my heart. i wailed in pain. i grabbed the machine, and held it shakily because i was about to pass out from a lack of oxygen. mom grabbed my arm and was about to do it for me, but i weakly pulled away and stood up to try and find a mirror. i felt my body getting weaker by the minute, and i was fading in and out of consciousness, my body felt like it was getting tighter and tighter. eventually i blacked out seconds later, and i woke up in the real world. my stomach and heart felt like it was being compressed like it was in the dream, and it felt like i could barely breathe.

4 Jun 2024

Dream

Briggs Poem #08 There's a very deep pain in my heart ❤️ 💔💔I don't know where to start. Hole 🕳️ in my soul I miss you Briggs as you crossed onto the other zone. Not fair we were just beginning and I was happy with you and walking and living. Brave you were as I went on walks and you strutted out front, I miss you Puppy 🐶 you were my fav one. No other animal does it like you I miss you here too, One day we'll meet and ill get to see you my Puppy Boo. Until then keep being silly chewing things and running squirrels down in Puppy Kingdom, Don't forget Brother Jeffrey Adores 💘💘🫶🫶😥😥😥😢😭😭😭You Amen 🙏🙏 Briggs Poem 😥😥🫶🫶😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

29 May 2024

Dream

I’d like to start this next dream by saying, one of my biggest fears in this world is spiders. Which I know is so stupid, Especially after the shit that just happened but shush, you don't always remember ur trauma in dreams. Anyways the dream begins back at the house/mansion I was previously in, yet this time it’s like I’d gone back in time, before it was turned into a breakout room. It was the early afternoon, and the sun peered brazenly through the dusty windows of the estate. Janet, from the previous dream, was kindly showing me around the mansion, acting as if, what happened previously never did. She told me the place was primarily used as a Preschool. And let me tell you, this was the creepiest preschool ever. And It was completely empty, besides us. Janet led me to, what she referred to, as the “Arts and crafts' ' room. It was definetly a craft room, so to speak, a really morbid one. The walls were covered with inappropriate, racist, pedophilic and just too strange to describe type things I’d ever seen. Obscene portraits of humans being tortured or burned alive were everywhere. And it was all different mediums of “art”.  All gruesome drawings or sculptures. Some had real pieces of the human body. Like a whole ass rib cage with dried blood on it.  She told me how all the children there had made these pieces, and then led me to the place that hers lay, from when she was a child going there.  So basically what she showed me resembled a pretty basic looking flower. But on top of the flower, still in the glass frame. Was a bunch of webs tracing the lines that she drew. She explained to me that there’s this kind of spider (can’t remember what she called it but it had a different animal’s name) that would trace lines with its webbing when it was scared.  Also I forgot to mention, the drawing had a bunch of rusty nails stabbed through it. I’m guessing that’s how she kept the spider motivated.  She told me to reach into the frame, and grab the drawing out for her, so we could look at it better. Which I did (not sure why) Anyways, I reached my hand in to grab it. Stabbing myself on a bunch of the rusty nails. And as I struggled to move it, The spider jumped out at me and I woke up again. My heart beating erratically in my chest-  SPIDERS ARE SCARY MAN I’m like shitting myself in fear at this point, so I call my dog to lay with me. I can't remember if I slept with the light on at this point or not.

19 May 2024

Dream

I was at a school party it was like a lockdown of some sort and it was Halloween i was wandering the halls looking at the different Halloween decorations and going up each floor of the school until I came across my old childhood friend she seemed way too excited and happy about something her face was fuzzy but I could see that she was smiling big I felt really off about this incounter right off the bat and she said come with me I want to show u something so cool so I fallowed her up more stares and down more halls until we came across a door she looked at me again with that wide smile and we walked it he old friend who she hung out with more than me in school was there and she also looked suspiciously excited and happy there was a mirror next to my old friends friend and it was one of those wavy distorted carnival mirrors the guided me towards it and I stood in front of it I don’t remember seeing my reflection in the mirror they handed me a big syringe I was comically huge it had this thick dark blue shining liquid in it they I looked at them confused and they said go on u know wat to do and I looked at the mirror with anxiety and took a breath and plunged the syringe deep into my heart and forced the liquid into my chest it created a bulge in my chest so I pushed it down then I woke up screening with my heart racing