Heels

14 Oct 2024

Dream

I dream of wearing a red high-heels.

15 Aug 2024

Dream

had a dream about my dead dad its been so long since ive dreamt about him and it felt like home in my dream we were all in a house and there was this stair case that was going down sideways and idk why i tried to go on the stairs by going through the wooden rails i was wearing heels and then i was basically the last person to go downstairs and when i turned to my right my dad appeared he looked young and slim he was wearing a blue poplo t shirt with dark blue jeans with a short hair cut, i forgot what he said to me but all i heard was “nak” which means child all i remember was him going into this little room which was the size of my downstairs toilet which had a bright light shining in it and my dad was going inside and he looked back at me and i was looking back at him and he had a bit of redness around his eyes while he was looking at me icl i was bit creeped out but i think in the dream i wanted to talk to him more but he had to go and i think he was saying something like “i have to go” but not in those words but the energy felt like that and i was “okay” just incase something bad happened and then he left and i woke up from my dream when i first thought about the redness around his eyes it was kinda creepy but then i thought about it maybe he was crying thats why he had that redness and thats why he had to leave quick.

3 Aug 2024

Dream

I was watching my 2 year old play in the pool. He was walking around in the water then slipped and went under water but looked like he drowned so I jumped in immediately and pulled him out. He coughed up water and started to look normal again. I wrapped him in a towel and walked around the house with him. I got to the kitchen and saw that the room was flooded up to my knees. I turned the faucet off and the water slowly drained away. I got my baby a little play house for him to play in and bought different color paints to customize his play house. I was out walking wearing black heels, a long black skirt and a short white tee shirt with a team logo. I noticed when I walked by men they would smile at me like they approved of my outfit

14 Jun 2024

Dream

I dreamt of tiny little toads drop all over me and with the water thrown on them they started to grow as I’m trying to shake them off I look at my feet and I notice a snail on each of my heels that I have to forcefully remove.

25 Apr 2024

Dream

I was asleep in my dream and dreamt of being at my therapists home. Then I woke up in a house full of people and couldn't work out if my dream was real. There was a gay man in my dream and he had a massive bag of lego that I sat in. We were in an apartment and then I was walking through a special opening of a shop, I was wearing a dress and heels. A woman approached me and wanted to do my hair and make up for the opening show. I said yes. Then woke up.

5 Apr 2024

Dream

I was in a beautiful dress. And then I go to where there are lights and some nice music. I then see my boyfriend and head towards him he is in a suit and i realize the song is a marriage song. I also had on heels and was a lot skinnier and there was another man up there in guessing the guy to give us our vows? So I then go up there and the man starts to give us our vows which I tell mine first. And then he tells his second and the huge crowd starts to clap a lot were crying and then he kissed me so softly.

1 Apr 2024

Dream

I had a dream I was walking somewhere with a hijab on I went and sat down in a chair by my classmate when a lady with a hijab said it’s not the right way to put it on so I took it off to show my messy her I asked her did the hijab afend her she said yes then after the show I got up and walked out to a hallway where I seen people waiting on a elevator I needed to get on but I seen my ex boyfriend coming my way so I took off my heels and ran to the stair way I rain down I thought it was more stairs tilll I seen a dark black stair way so I came up 1 stair way and opened the door on the other side was a different place I had to jump to the other side I turned around to see I jumped out a plane door and I had slammed it. Seen I was in a place( I hall) I was grabbing stuff to pack with me then I seemed to get horny I was looking and seen a vibrater I took started to use it but then I started to bleed from my legs the floor was white and my aunt was coming so I hide it then I pulled my dress down I took a cup that was fimilar in my bag

31 Mar 2024

Dream

I was at a dance class, with Thai girls and guys I was the only one who wasn't Thai, we had to dance in these high heels and pretty outfits, but I had a hard time with the high heels, and I fell a couple of times, and the end of the heels were slippery, which made it extra easy for me to fall. As I was clinging onto a railing in the middle of the dance class holding on for dear life not to fall, everyone else looked so serious and so professional, they were dancing so pretty. As i was trying to have my balance back, I saw a bird, it was relatively big, but not too big for me to hold, he had these sharp wings at the end, and he looked so pretty because he was almost colorful. He also as a facial features he looked like a Phoenix. The bird was flying over us (the dancing people) and the dance master got able to catch him, as he watched him I was so afraid the dance master would harm the bird or kick him outside as it seemed he had nobody, he was all alone. I begged the dance master to give me the bird, while struggling to move with the high heels. I wobbled over to the dance master and said please give him to me, and he did. I was so happy but the bird was fierce and wanted to fly out of my hands. He was so soft and cute. I brought him into the backstage, where people change their clothes. I held him there and stroked him, he was calm with me. My two twin friends came and saw the bird, me and them fed the bird. We were so happy that he was doing fine. We fed the bird too much, that he ended up passing away. I started crying, I tried to do CPR on him, but to no avail. The birds soul was already gone. I made him a nest where i could lay him in his last resting place, still feeling guilty for not being able to take care of this animal. I looked at him one last time, I was sure he wasn't dead. I couldn't imagine that he died. As I looked at him, he looked dead. I went home with my mom, in the car I was crying out to my mom how the bird died and how incapable I am of taking care of such a little animal. Guilt and pain was taking over me, as I cried as if someone of my family members died. It was that deep, the bird meant so much to me, and he was gone. And I was the reason for that. It hurt me, the pain of the bird leaving the world so early hit me like a truck, even more than the guilt that was washing up of me. I loved that bird. He was my companion and my best friend, even though we had just met. He meant a lot to me. And I was the reason for his ending. I just wanted to feed him because I thought he was hungry. And we overfed him until he passed. I feel horrible the pain is unbearable.

27 Mar 2024

Dream

I was at school but not really school, and I decided to wear really high heals but I could barely walk around in them. I stopped in the library before class to study and I saw my guys friends. I thought it was funny I was taller then them and I put my hands on their heads to show I was taller. Then I ended up deciding to stay there and skip class because I didn’t want to go. The library turned into a dirt barn and I was with some of my friends and my highschool track coach. He was showing us how to throw a shot put. We ended up leaving and I was walking around campus but it was actually just a place with stores and I looked around at what there was. The heels were making it hard to walk so I put on flip flops. Some guys were saying it was stupid that I put on flip flops instead of my heals but another girl said she understood. Then I decided to head back to my dorm and I went back to my dorm but I was in my heals again struggling to walk and I tried to run across a road before a car got there but I could barely move.

23 Mar 2024

Dream

kind of about eric ig in another universe. briefly shows me / "toni" (short for tonisha i think) meeting and flirting with him for the first time in a theater esque situation at 15. similar shit goes down and i just don't see him after being reprimanded a few months before my 18th things haven't really improved. i'm in a sort of wayward teens program and we're on a field trip. i have a rambunctious beast friend similar to kayla who takes her daily meds but still acts weird. i've mastered the art of not taking i think we're visiting a hospital or living facility of sorts, and i'm aimlessly wandering until i see a familiar name somewhere. i realize he's staying there and don't really tell bff but try to but she's busy talking with one of the male wayward teens she likes. it's kind of a race to evade both building staff and the crew watching the teens but i make it shortly after some religious folks leave the room. i'm panicked thinking he's in hospice but slowly walk in. just by my heels he goes "toni?" i think he's "quenton" in this dream but we sort of awkwardly look at each other before he smiles and we catch up and gossip and he's fine i think just staying in an exclusive residential suite bc he wants to "find himself" and i guess can afford to. at some point things get hot and flirty and kind of weird in the you're still so beautiful but all grown up way but its so sexy to me lol. in the dream some actually ?? stuff happens and bff is there and i think i was just very in real life horny lmao so my dream had a porn like scene anyways it gets back to some sense of reality when again in the dream he leaves halfway through ~activities saying he'll be back and me and best friend cry like wtf but a more normal scene in this hellscape would be i fall asleep after and he says something i can't really decipher and when i wake up he's gone and the alarms are going off in the hospital again my dream gets crazy and there's an action sequence and the hospital explodes ?? but let's say i and some other patients from either program / facility escape without jumping out of a tall ass building. bff somehow makes it out too and she's pissed at me first bc her crush didn't make it out or got bright back to the state custody but we eventually shrug and kind of become street urchins idk if i have family or she does but we spend the next few weeks kind of making the city outside of the "dishonorable youth" program. initially im trying to find him but there are no leads and bff convinces me to give up. it hurts and i wander one more night in a shady alley that's somehow relevant (lmao i think its a college bar area near where he claimed to live during the catching up scene, suggestive / creepy comments and all) and these two east asian guys ask me what a sign says and i'm like "black cherry?" (it looks like a bar) they laugh and speak another language so i walk away and decide that's it, he's gone xmas eve comes, the day before im assuming my / toni's 18th birthday and there's a sliver of hope that there will be a Christmas miracle but im starting to wake up at this point so the last actual dream part was me standing in what was kind of like central park of ny all lit up and i was looking at this really tall light post that's bulb was super bright and i pretended it was a shooting star before bff is like let's get wasted my own ending i think is that i wake up hungover as shit with this guy snapping and going "hello?" and i think he's my shooting star come true on my birthday morning so im like "quin"?? and he says "who?" as the sleepiness leaves my eyes and he's just some college guy from a bar we went to. i blink before smiling and replying "ah, nobody" other parts in the dream that were probably "in order" before my own ending but i couldn't make sense of it in a linear manner include coming back to the hospital that's now in good condition with better security and we make a joke to the receptionists about the incident months prior which makes them confused first then surprised. i think we go the equivalent of jk, oh can we get these drinks? i also think i made note of not seeing his name on the visiting sheet as an option or something so it could have been during the "where's pedo" montage alternative ending i get some sort of real closure? it's been years of no contact atp and i think nye following my 21st and i see him at the event and he sees me. i don't feel the same butterflies and anxiety but just.. weird so i go somewhere less crowded to drink water and this time he followed me. vague small talk, some awkward silences, and then we both say im sorry. and he's like why are u sorry and while i feel like i have a reason i stop and frown and i just don't know. he goes you aren't because you don't need to be and talks about the regret of ruining my adolescence and that's why he ran bc while the night was fun and thrilling it wasn't right and wouldn't end in good for anyone. like how i'm on track in community college after getting my ged (which i mentioned during small talk) and he's in therapy and trying to talk to ppl his age *awkward pained but genuine laughter* we nod and look away nervously while ppl filter in and out of what's probably someone's penthouse kitchen. the ball drop is soon and he says my name and i instinctively look despite feeling ashamed be almost a dog on call, following every command. he says something goofy to lighten the mood but i interrupt and kiss him as the countdown starts. its brief but passionate and at five i go "goodbye, quenton" and run off to the glass/window walls as one approaches. bff is there with u troubled youth boy toy who's turned it around and she grabs my hand and i squeeze back as it's the new year. there's celebration and cheer and yelling and we hug and bff asks "so what's your first resolution" looking her in the eye with a smile and refusing to acknowledge the confused but all too familiar set of eyes i'm sure is on my back "to never look back" toast, cheers, etc noises as she looks confused momentarily but shrugs and smiles bc she may not get it but she /gets it/ and i do too, finally

10 Mar 2024

Dream

I was at a huge strip club with pink and blue neon lights and loud music was playing. Guys were carrying a girl with clear pleaser heels on for fun. I was someone who observed what strippers do and wants to become one.

19 Feb 2024

Dream

I ate 2 packages of 4 year old expired carrots, and they had worms in them. I didnt know until I opened the last package and decided to look at them closer. Then I was begging my parents to bring me to the hospital. Eventually they did when they saw the amount of worms in the last package. And then I left the house in a hurry, without any shoes on. I said "I dont have any shoes," and my dad went back to get me some, but he came back with s pair of homemade stone high heels.