Jacket

21 Oct 2024

Dream

Okay so I went to Jaelynn’s yesterday for dinner and to watch a movie as the original plan was to do. I was snapchatting Tim he was at his grandmas for a cook out but he stopped answering around 7, then 7:10 comes around and Anthony gets a phone call from Tim asking “hey I have cupcakes is it ok I’m coming over” basically so Anthony comes in the room and asks Jaelynn if she cares and she said no so Tony walked away and Jae turned to me saying “weren’t you just texting Tim?” She likes to look at my phone all I said was “yeah but I thought he was at his grandmas for a cookout” anyway fire alarm goes off at 7:40 so we go outside and Tim gets there around 7:50 with the mini cupcakes. When I first went to Jaelynn’s I was only wearing shorts a crop top and my thin red flannel so I was freezing I wanna say it was 8:00 when Tim handed the cupcakes to Tony and said he’d be right back and he went to his car. Came back with a black jacket and held it up for me to put on saying he figured I was freezing I just quietly watched him come up smiled a little and said thank you quietly and now I had him standing next to me instead of across the group (two of their neighbors were standing with us when Tim showed up). We got to go inside around 8:20? The neighbors came with to see the apartment and left shortly after so Tim sat in the chair and I sit on the couch close to it and he asks me about what happened with my last job because he’d been waiting for said story. So I’m talking about that for a while he’s still watching me then we finish what we were watching and he and I left at the same time cuz it was past 9:30 at that point. He held all three doors for me, I didn’t even get to touch the second one even though he was walking behind me. But right outside the door we went separate ways I said I’d see him next time and he said goodnight and I basically ran to my car because again it was cold without his jacket that time and he ended up following me half the way home to get to his own house.

7 Oct 2024

Dream

I have to go to work. I don’t want to. My employer told me that I need to find a new job. I’m sitting on a desk in a hallway. I don’t want to be there. I want to go and ask someone for a room so that I can make phone calls. I have to go to a giant hall or conference room. On the side is a counter and I stand in line. The room is big and I think about how big it is and that everything has changed so much. A person behind the counter says that they have an almost finished jacket that wasn’t picked up. I say I’m inderested. The jacket is too small for me and it weirdly embroidered with a 3D fairy tale theme. I touch the embroiderement. It’s beautiful and weird at the same time. There was more but I forgot the rest.

12 Aug 2024

Dream

The dream started off with me being at my childhood church I was young again maybe a mid teen. I was playing/goofing off with kids around my age in the halls of the church. As I was with them I remember leaving my jacket in the relief scociety room of the church. I ran to the room to go get my jacket; but as I entered, I realized I was walking in on a lesson that was going on. The rooms lights were off and there was a big projector in the front of the room. As well as a lady dressed in an all white silk dress. She had short blond hair that was about shoulder length and bright blue eyes. I didn’t recognize her but she welcomed me in and offered me to go and sit with the others. I found my family sitting amongst the crowd and went and sat next to them. The women continued her lesson until she asked that the young adults/teens go with her. I left with her and went to a different room were we usually held are young women classes on Sunday. She talked was us all about the kids importance of the second coming and the importance of what we wear. She said that Christ will notice what we are wearing even down to our feet. As she said this, she handed out white silk socks/booties to go on our feet. As I was putting mine on a kid standing next to a large glass window started getting excited and said he could see something appearing from the park nearby. I ran to the window to look as did several others in the room as I looked out the window I could see the park with a wide creek running through it. There was a red bridge/gazebo that went across the creek. On the far side of the creek was a thick mist. You could not see what was on the other side of the bridge or creek. But one by one people dressed in white robes started coming out of the mist and across the bridge into our world. All of them wearing white robes some of them wear carrying large baskets of what looked like fruit and vegetables with them. Others strange instruments that I had never seen before. They all where singing and some dancing or playing these instruments. They were happy and celebrating. As I was watching then all cross over I suddenly say Christ cross the bridge. There were several people around him singing. Then the dream ended.

2 Aug 2024

Dream

If I can’t have you I don’t want nobody baby. Those lyrics resonate with me bc back in those times life was much easier the nineties everyone was happy 😃 healthy not a care in the world it affects me. I had a dreadful overwhelming sense of nostalgia I’m ok 🙂 now I just had to remember the memories with my parents and aunts and uncles cousins in Nc and Myrtle beach and grandma Jenkins it’s so deep and I remember how my dad would have grease and oil after changing bike tires 🛞 🚴 and playing these songs when things were easier my friend Tim having a green jacket when we first met I haven’t recalled that memory in 2 and a half decades. Wow 😲 it reallly is frighteningly scary how fast time has passed by I don’t even have time to take crap and scratch my butt lol 😂 If I can’t have the past I’m afraid I don’t want the future I’m scared. Euphemism the song by Barry Gibb If I can’t have you. Getting over a failed relationship with Cassie Jae Joon I’m not so sad or angry anymore not as much as family and friends I used to hangout with from swimteam and idc about dating I care about rehashing out my nostalgia deep deep nostalgia it’s saving my sanity and loneliness I don’t care how crazy that sounds. My very existence depends on it as I’m codependent on the strategies of being happy with not only gold or platinum but Diamond 💎 Friends Amen 🙏

30 Jul 2024

Dream

I was on vacation with my husband and child. Moving around. We met another travelers. Crossed path with him a few times. Somehow I felt a real connection to that person. I‘m in our vacation house and my husband leaves to get food. I see that stranger. I adk him if he wants to hang out. I want to keep it a secret. We sit diwnstairs and talk. Until I realize that my husband might cone back. I start walking upstairs to our apartment and I see his red jacket through the fro t door window. I ran upstairs as fast as I can. I arrive back conpletely out of breath. Checking on my kid, hopi g she didn‘t notice I was gone. And I woke up

27 Jul 2024

Dream

I was in an auditorium watching a movie and was surprised to be surrounded by a few familiar faces. A scene in the film came up where there was a boat sinking in a body of water and I made a slight joke to my best friend Chris that that was almost us once on his boat and he denied playfully that it wasn’t his fault. His ex that he doesn’t talk to anymore was there as wel but they just kept their distance from each other. Once the film ended a former friend of mine named Brittany had left to go charge her vehicle. A mutual friend that knew her too had referred to her which allowed us to meet discuss her. She had left her jacket with me but I was preparing to leave soon so I asked her friend to ask Brittany if she wanted me to leave her jacket with this mutual friend and she didn’t give me a clear instruction of yes or no so I just stayed and watched the live performers come out and dance. It had looked like a scene from the circus.

8 Jul 2024

Dream

I was in sales again and was going around to each of my clients and trying to give them something. For one of the clients I was releasing their shoes, but they were almost sitting on my face. I had to keep asking them to readjust so I could breathe. Another client I was trying to give an extra pair of shoes who sell shoes. She assured me she was fine and on one shoe a week program from her company.another client excepted money from me as a gift as a way to say thank you. I was going around the mall making these touch points with my client and bumped into Kelly. My most successful friend! just had a wonderful lunch with Kelly, my dear friend Who is very successful and gave me great advice as always. She always reminds me what is important. I was feeling very upbeat as I was doing my route through the mall to the public transportation wrapping up my day. I was passing the part of the mall with there’s always some guy trying to talk to me. Usually one of the same guys and this time the guy was occupied but yelling to catch my attention. I started running, not afraid, but just trying to avoid him. I took off a big jacket, so that I could run faster and avoid him. I remember, I was cautious and focused to get to public transportation. I was waiting for the bus/train and was with Kelly again. It was dark in the sign across the street from the bus stop was going into a parking lot named more sugar in Spanish. I thought that was funny and pointed it out, however there was a commotion and we went to go check it out. Kelli was wearing baggy clothes and boots and when we went to see what was going on because everyone was moving, they said there was a snake there. After a few seconds, they found the red black white and yellow snake on Kelli, and brushed it off of her. Everyone was quite scared and worked up. The snake had a giant white tag hanging off of it as it went into the gutter. Then after I caught the bus to El Cerrito, California, where I used to live for a few months, I was walking along and saw a big smile in a rearview mirror of a car. It was Ryan, Kelli‘s husband. He told me he wanted to grab something to eat with me, I said I just ate with Kelli, but that I would pick it something with him, not eat but hang out with him while he ate. He told me to get in so I got in and he started driving erratically. at one point he turned left and I almost fell out of the vehicle because there was no door on the car. He told me he needs to “sing HU” like me and I told him I would do it with him and assured him it was important. I remember as we were driving, thinking I was supposed to be selling and here it was filling up my calendar with non-revenue producing things. I liked Ryan. I was just feeling conflicted over my priorities and needing to sell.

26 Jun 2024

Dream

i was shopping at the mall with my grandma, my mom and sisters. i picked out pink knee high tall heels, a loose gray or blue shirt, and a medium condors jacket. i put the jacket back becausee i was like nah. i told my mom how it would make sense because when i used to live in oxnard the college mascot was a condor, even though i now live in my hometown bakersfield. i didnt end up buying anything. i remember texting a guy i used to go on dates with named romeo. then all of a sudden im outside in this beautiful, mystical place that was a large fountain surrounded by water. im on some type of floaty going into the water, so im not wet. a white sleeping cat, 2 dogs, a waterbottle, and more animals were also on floaties. thats when a whirlpool started to form. i was texting romeo and he was talking me through it. i put all of the animals together on a bigger floaty before they fell in the whirlpool. i put the dog next to the cat. kept a dog in my arms when i got out of the whirlpool. it felt like i was in alice in wonderland somewhat bc of how odd the situation was. i wanted to save all the animals and make it stop but i didnt. thats when i heard someone say my cousins grandma “gets mad when dad doesnt pay her”

26 Jun 2024

Dream

I'm at the training I was last week, and I'm on one of the last days, and me and another girl, we are not participating in an exercise. And we're both very tired for some reason, so we're settling in very uncomfortably, watching the others, and there's a mountain of jackets. So the other girl is sitting down already, falling almost asleep, and I'm going to grab my things, and I want to go to the mountain of jackets with some pillows where I want to sit down. And as I move towards there, she's kind of crawling towards the spot, and tries to sit down just before I get there, and she had seen that I wanted to sit down, so she really just went there to take it from me. She's tiny, I'm a bit bigger, so I'm not having it. So I try to push her away, and this pushing away turns into a massive wrestle, where we each other, we become pretty intense. So I see myself biting her fingers, and it's a very slow and calm wrestle, almost the other group will not notice it, but we're fighting tooth and nail for this. And I say something to her, she's like a gent settler, I say something to her, which I forgot now, I say something like, that's what you get when, and I don't remember what I said then.

24 Jun 2024

Dream

I was out in the town and there were a lot of new rules Basically, there was a dictator that had taken over and the town rules were very limiting and against any crime or anything that could be perceived as crime. I was a student in school, and I didn’t fit in with the rest of the students. Our building caught on fire and we all had to run out and go to a hospital to be taken care of. When I got out of the hospital, I went to a thrift shop of sorts and saw the only shirt or jacket or some thing that I had owned hanging up to be sold. So I went to get the jacket and I asked the storekeeper hey this is my jacket from the accident, can I have it back? The storekeeper said I would need to pay to get the jacket back and I told him I did not have any money but that it was my only belonging. He said I could not get it back without paying so I took it when I went to see my classmates, and ask them what they would’ve done and then I had taken it. They were very upset with me for breaking the rules and stealing some thing, even though it was mine and taken from me. I’m out on the streets trying to exist in the town doesn’t like me. I get taken to a detention center/jail for kids where they trained you but really were torturing you through games and situations that kids ahould not have been in. I remember being in the woods a lot and my brother was there with me. My family kept coming to try and find me and get me out. I believe they framed the place as a school and I was a tennis player and my family wanted to make sure that I was still playing tennis and to see a game. I was not playing tennis because I was being tortured through these activities. They did not let my family in and kept me doing activities. I don’t remember a lot of the activities but one of the main ones was this game in a pool. Before the game they gave us a explanation as to why we were doing it. In the explanation, they talked about how men were out of war where they had to hide underwater for four hours, and have combat underwater or they would’ve been shot from above. Job to stay underwater without being detected by each other or found alone by the other team. I was one of the first people in the water able to start getting ready and cleaning our side of the pool, so I worked very hard. They told us that we could collect the leaves off of the floor to improve our gameplay. We could also put the leaves on the boys side to make them play worse. I was collecting leaves and scraping up algae when I was found by the other team. The collecting leaves and scraping of algae, was supposed to be done by a teammate of mine that had a developmental and intellectual delay Skill issues and autism. This individual was actually a student of mine and my real life last year that I had trouble connecting with and working with because she was not advanced enough to be in my class. She was upset with me because it was her scrape the leaves, but I knew that she would put our team behind so I did it quickly for her and then set her up for success by doing most of it so that as the leaves came in the game, she could keep up. She was very upset with me for doing so, I would also like to note that I myself have autism and adhd but I am thrice exceptional because I was also a gifted student because of my high IQ scores as a child. I mask and hid my autism better than others can so I wasn’t formally diagnosed in my real life. I often in waking find myself judging others with the same disorders as myself for not learning and adjusting to the world like I have from a place of ableism. Continuing with the dream. I was the first person on my team found while I was cleaning I went to a center where I was on my own outside of the door to the pool. The game was eventually over and the person in charge came to me and he wanted everyone to smile and look him in the eyes so he can figure out what team to place us on tomorrow. he said he was using our eyes when he got to me. He had trouble seeing my eyes because I wasn’t in the same place as everyone else I told him they were steel blue and he said everyone else has had steel blue eyes as well. Which is weird to me because blue eyes is not a very common eye color, the next thing I know I’m able to run away from this camp and go into town. I find myself in a convenience store where there is coffee, popcorn, and drinks and candy. I am looking around. I find coffee and I get some snacks then consciousness shifts to the front of the store and I watch a woman check out. She has random things ring up on her item and they are confused but don’t like me so figure it’s my fault and walk back to me. I occasionally have OCD in waking life when it comes to cleaning I get an in a mood where I will start cleaning and I can’t stop until someone stops me. It’s an unhealthy behavior, but I get a lot done and I’m going to have to clean my apartment today. in the dream I had gotten into an OCD state and kept making coffee after coffee for people popping popcorn, scanning candy and other items and it was all piling up around me. The shopkeeper and ladies started yelling at me for what I had done, but we looked to the side, and there was a curtain that was moving because there were a ton of people that had arrived to buy the things that I was making as if I was a barista, which is the small town did not have. They could not be upset with me and I continued making coffee until something happened and I walked outside like a little explosion. I looked down at my feet in the snow and I saw a rat. I heard my brain say there is a rat in the shop, no more coffee. it was as if my brain was exiting OCD mode because it was grossed out by some thing. People wanted more coffee and I said no and walked away because I was no longer in that mental space. it became late, so I blocked back towards the forest and it was as if I was seeing snow in my eyes and I was excited, and then when that OCD mode shifted everything kind of turned red, and my brain was upset. I knew it was time to get my brother out of the camp because it was over so I walked towards the forest. I was looking for the water. Our family had brought because that was the only way to get people out of the camp. I saw lots of families and students from the camp walking out of the forest towards their vehicles, but I could not find my family or our water. So I kept walking in the forest and eventually I ran into a tall man that was in my family, possibly my dad or husband I was unclear at that point. I looked to the side and I see my belongings and my brothers belongings, there is a baby stroller in the middle recognized that I had forgotten at that time. I saw my purse, my jacket and other belongings on the side of the post piled up a baby carrier on the floor and my brothers items on the other side on a different post. There was not a baby in the baby carrier so I picked it up to put it on the stroller and couldn’t get it attached correctly. my husband walked over at that moment and told me that I didn’t have the baby carrier on correctly as I was already loading my belongings into the baby carrier so that I can get out of the park. I went to the side to fix it and as I was fixing it, I heard a younger brother walk up to my husband saying he was still holding the baby to my husband, and my husband said that’s OK you’ll have to keep holding him. I had a sense of the baby was a boy and his name was possibly Freddy. I did not see the baby, but I kept picking up Lauren and loading the stroller. We started walking towards the back of park to find my brother and then my alarm went off and woke me up.

18 Jun 2024

Dream

I had a dream I was walking around this space with a few friends. It was raining outside so a lot of people were in the building. It seemed like a shopping area/food court but everything was darker toned. Like black picnic tables. Dark walls. The only lights came from the food stalls. I went to use the bathroom and the bathroom was a white dimly lit large U-shaped stall style bathroom. It had showers on one side of the U and regular bathrooms on the other. I went in to wash my hands and as I’m washing my hands I notice there are people waiting for the shower. I look over to the showers to see one is open but there’s a brown gross looking liquid puddling in that stall and drawing towards the drain. And then the smell hit me. Everybody washing their hands started gagging and trying not to actually puke. It was a PUTRID smell! As if somebody had not washed in a month and was on their period at the same time NASTY smell. I start to look for another spot to wash my hands but everything else is taken so I get ready to leave. As I’m walking out I notice the only color since I’ve been in this dream in a pink and green floral decoration around a large mirror. I take a second to look at myself and consider taking a selfie but I end up not taking a selfie because there are a few people around and I didn’t want them in my picture. So I leave. As I’m looking around a girl I had seen in the bathroom with earlobe length black curly hair, a round face with a slightly point chin, black spaghetti strap shin length dress, combat boots and lots of long necklaces and a little black backpack tells me she likes my outfit. I tell her I love hers! She goes on about her day and as she’s walking away the jacket she was holding changes from black to like a frog green and I wake up.

27 May 2024

Dream

On bus with people driving through mountainous area with little traffic and saw woman falling/rolling down a hill from the road. As fast as she was descending she must have been pushed from a moving vehicle but I don’t recall seeing one since I had been talking to a passenger. I feel like my reaction and thought process was going in slow motion. I should have told the driver to stop immediately but it took me a minute to grasp the situation. It appears to be spring. Jackets being worn but green leaves were abundant and it had recently rained.