Wandering

6 Sep 2024

Dream

I was at this big place that was like a theater. It was shaped like the Parthenon. It was weird though because it was like immersive though like I was in each movie. The first one was called lemonade something. I was with this guy that was lowkey obsessed with me. I didn’t realize that until later though because he started to act crazier and crazier. I remember the first “movie” we were on a bus and we had to go through this drive through. It ended with us being underwater and the guy had lost his mind. When that movie was done, then it was like I was wondering around the place looking for the next movie. At this point I was with my girlfriend and an old friend from college (who happens to be a gay guy). He was showing us around the place, showing where the different shows were. We were just wandering with him, because we were waiting for the next showing of the one we wanted to see. At the end we got in line for the show we wanted to see.

9 Aug 2024

Dream

I dreamt that I went to a fair or carnival. I paid for my ticket to get in at a gate outside and grabbed my credit card. I went through some doors and found myself in a huge mall type of building. Eventually found my way to to food area and went to get something to eat only to discover I’d been given someone else’s credit card when I paid and not mine. I knew I had to go back to the ticket kiosk outside to return the other person’s card and get mine back. But I couldn’t remember how I’d come in. And the whole place seemed like a maze and got very dark. I wandered through so many areas and just as I was starting to panic, I found my way back to the kiosk, returned the other person’s credit card and got mine back. I felt so relieved. And then my alarm clock went off and woke me up.

5 Aug 2024

Dream

Was in a desolate wasteland wandering around. I went to a supermarket there and I had to get a comb over. As I visited each department store, I got some item.

29 Jul 2024

Dream

I was in some sort of theatre at some sort of important event inside of a hotel. I think I was wandering the hotel before I found my seat. I was seated next to someone I’ve known since preschool, Aly’s ex-husband who I never met. Aly was the usher for some reason & asked him to put his phone away which he did begrudgingly. I leaned forward & told her I’m sorry her mom passed away because I hadn’t seen her since that happened. She just said thanks & walked away. Then I turned to her ex & started berating him for hurting her while he just sat there.

16 Jul 2024

Dream

I just had a dream where I was in this forest and it had something to do with like finding something. There were people I might have known but I don’t remember, so I wandered off and a lot of creepy stuff happened, but the most vivid thing I remember was the most recent. Me and I think my girlfriend found this house in the forest, walked in, and saw a bunch of Muslim people. I don’t think I’ve ever seen them before but they had faces somehow, perfectly normal ones. And they died strings around our necks and threw pin needles at the balloons that were connected to the strings, then their heads exploded. These people were ready to accept it but after watching a few people die, I panicked and got up, running out the door in a panic, not wanting to be killed. But the guy who was next, as I left the little hut house, he said, “she still has the string around her neck, I’ll kill her.” And then I immediately pulled it off and took off running. They were so sure I couldn’t escape the forest anyway from what I heard. Then I saw this very small type of ‘person’ with no arms. There was some sort of tv where the news was saying a bunch of people died, for some reason in the forest. I watched some of it and then something about that same short guy was searching for his father who apparently died and then I helped him search. I don’t remember what happened before or after this part, but I know I was in the forest the entire time for some weird reason.

16 Jun 2024

Dream

CREDITS I had a dream that I was wandering the halls of my old school. My roommates were all female.

10 Jun 2024

Dream

My husband is in bed with a girl who I went to high school with and myself. There are a bunch of people in the room, it is a high school reunion. My husband wants to kiss the other girl. I finally say, “ok we are on a break!” And they have sex. I yell at her that “wow people said you were an even bigger slut than I was and it looks like they’re right” I am so angry. I leave with both his phone and my phone. I go outside to a slide and find a bag of weed on a slide. I take it. I am wandering around a house and find some male friends. Greg is sharing his sober anniverssary speech and James is there too. David calls his phone and I answer and then hang up. Then I call him back on mine. He says “are you really still mad?” And I say “yes! We are still on a break!” He says fine, it’s a lapse in judgement that he had one time. He doesn’t seem remoreseful, he seems flippant. I tell him about the weed I found. He asks me me if I am going to smoke it. I say yes although I am scared of who it belongs to finding out. I go in the house and the girls from high school are there. I am filled with hate. I yell at Roxanna and she tells me I should have one of my lesbian friends make me a pie.

19 May 2024

Dream

I was at a school party it was like a lockdown of some sort and it was Halloween i was wandering the halls looking at the different Halloween decorations and going up each floor of the school until I came across my old childhood friend she seemed way too excited and happy about something her face was fuzzy but I could see that she was smiling big I felt really off about this incounter right off the bat and she said come with me I want to show u something so cool so I fallowed her up more stares and down more halls until we came across a door she looked at me again with that wide smile and we walked it he old friend who she hung out with more than me in school was there and she also looked suspiciously excited and happy there was a mirror next to my old friends friend and it was one of those wavy distorted carnival mirrors the guided me towards it and I stood in front of it I don’t remember seeing my reflection in the mirror they handed me a big syringe I was comically huge it had this thick dark blue shining liquid in it they I looked at them confused and they said go on u know wat to do and I looked at the mirror with anxiety and took a breath and plunged the syringe deep into my heart and forced the liquid into my chest it created a bulge in my chest so I pushed it down then I woke up screening with my heart racing

8 Apr 2024

Dream

First dream I was getting my blood drawn or something and just remember it was taking forever and mentioned some about how I just like cheese curds. Then I jumped to the second one where me and a big group of people all hit our dab pens at the same time and ripped them into a giant cloud. After that we went to an abandoned mall to look around the foundation because we thought it’d be cool. We were wandering around and I noticed it felt like the backrooms. Well after running around i decided to go off on my own and I found this area that was pitch black and thought that was perfect. As I’m running towards this area, 2 shadows are walking and approaching. I instantly get a bad gut feeling and run back

6 Apr 2024

Dream

dasha was skiing backwards and it was pointed out that as a person from money she had learned to do that as a kid. i was hanging out with a group of women. one of them was a witch who didn't like me. everyone was in the midst of traveling. they were going to a music festival. i took molly with some of those people. one of my friends urged me to come with them, but i didn't want to. i ended up going on a cruise to dublin (drive to the boat ended with someone getting sick). i was smoking weed on the ship and wandering around. i couldn't find my room. i had a pet puppy with me, and he kept trying to get away from me while i searched for the room. there was a mail carrier on the ship, and the puppy bit her on her ass when we crossed paths. i apologized profusely to her.

2 Apr 2024

Dream

I had a dream that I can as visiting a witches house. There were other women with me and she had invited us there. She was telling us that she was about to go through her second round of chemo. We were telling her how sad we were to hear it. I started wandering around, exploring the house. It was so whimsical. One of the hallways off to the right of the living room was pink with beautiful panel that made it look Parisian. I hesitated to walk up the stairs but looked back at her for an okay. I told her I was just exploring and she nodded and continued talking. I went into her bathroom and it was so nice. She had a big beautiful tile bathtub. I imagined how nice it must be to relax in that tub with candles. Then I walked through each room and explored. I thought about how inwoild decorate the house if I lived there. I wanted to ask her to leave the house to me if she ever died. I looked out the window of the back room and Sa had black berry bushes with white flowers and admired them. Then I saw my cousin’s son and my uncles’s son outside the window. They were running through the field behind her house and they ran up to the window to look in. For some reason they could reach the second floor from the ground. They were going to come in but I told them to behave and go back outside so they did. Then I looked down the back Halloway to discover a second staircase with wide walls and pretty floral wallpaper. She had a music room too. I could hear her in the bathroom doing a spell and I thought it must be to protect her from her cancer.

23 Mar 2024

Dream

kind of about eric ig in another universe. briefly shows me / "toni" (short for tonisha i think) meeting and flirting with him for the first time in a theater esque situation at 15. similar shit goes down and i just don't see him after being reprimanded a few months before my 18th things haven't really improved. i'm in a sort of wayward teens program and we're on a field trip. i have a rambunctious beast friend similar to kayla who takes her daily meds but still acts weird. i've mastered the art of not taking i think we're visiting a hospital or living facility of sorts, and i'm aimlessly wandering until i see a familiar name somewhere. i realize he's staying there and don't really tell bff but try to but she's busy talking with one of the male wayward teens she likes. it's kind of a race to evade both building staff and the crew watching the teens but i make it shortly after some religious folks leave the room. i'm panicked thinking he's in hospice but slowly walk in. just by my heels he goes "toni?" i think he's "quenton" in this dream but we sort of awkwardly look at each other before he smiles and we catch up and gossip and he's fine i think just staying in an exclusive residential suite bc he wants to "find himself" and i guess can afford to. at some point things get hot and flirty and kind of weird in the you're still so beautiful but all grown up way but its so sexy to me lol. in the dream some actually ?? stuff happens and bff is there and i think i was just very in real life horny lmao so my dream had a porn like scene anyways it gets back to some sense of reality when again in the dream he leaves halfway through ~activities saying he'll be back and me and best friend cry like wtf but a more normal scene in this hellscape would be i fall asleep after and he says something i can't really decipher and when i wake up he's gone and the alarms are going off in the hospital again my dream gets crazy and there's an action sequence and the hospital explodes ?? but let's say i and some other patients from either program / facility escape without jumping out of a tall ass building. bff somehow makes it out too and she's pissed at me first bc her crush didn't make it out or got bright back to the state custody but we eventually shrug and kind of become street urchins idk if i have family or she does but we spend the next few weeks kind of making the city outside of the "dishonorable youth" program. initially im trying to find him but there are no leads and bff convinces me to give up. it hurts and i wander one more night in a shady alley that's somehow relevant (lmao i think its a college bar area near where he claimed to live during the catching up scene, suggestive / creepy comments and all) and these two east asian guys ask me what a sign says and i'm like "black cherry?" (it looks like a bar) they laugh and speak another language so i walk away and decide that's it, he's gone xmas eve comes, the day before im assuming my / toni's 18th birthday and there's a sliver of hope that there will be a Christmas miracle but im starting to wake up at this point so the last actual dream part was me standing in what was kind of like central park of ny all lit up and i was looking at this really tall light post that's bulb was super bright and i pretended it was a shooting star before bff is like let's get wasted my own ending i think is that i wake up hungover as shit with this guy snapping and going "hello?" and i think he's my shooting star come true on my birthday morning so im like "quin"?? and he says "who?" as the sleepiness leaves my eyes and he's just some college guy from a bar we went to. i blink before smiling and replying "ah, nobody" other parts in the dream that were probably "in order" before my own ending but i couldn't make sense of it in a linear manner include coming back to the hospital that's now in good condition with better security and we make a joke to the receptionists about the incident months prior which makes them confused first then surprised. i think we go the equivalent of jk, oh can we get these drinks? i also think i made note of not seeing his name on the visiting sheet as an option or something so it could have been during the "where's pedo" montage alternative ending i get some sort of real closure? it's been years of no contact atp and i think nye following my 21st and i see him at the event and he sees me. i don't feel the same butterflies and anxiety but just.. weird so i go somewhere less crowded to drink water and this time he followed me. vague small talk, some awkward silences, and then we both say im sorry. and he's like why are u sorry and while i feel like i have a reason i stop and frown and i just don't know. he goes you aren't because you don't need to be and talks about the regret of ruining my adolescence and that's why he ran bc while the night was fun and thrilling it wasn't right and wouldn't end in good for anyone. like how i'm on track in community college after getting my ged (which i mentioned during small talk) and he's in therapy and trying to talk to ppl his age *awkward pained but genuine laughter* we nod and look away nervously while ppl filter in and out of what's probably someone's penthouse kitchen. the ball drop is soon and he says my name and i instinctively look despite feeling ashamed be almost a dog on call, following every command. he says something goofy to lighten the mood but i interrupt and kiss him as the countdown starts. its brief but passionate and at five i go "goodbye, quenton" and run off to the glass/window walls as one approaches. bff is there with u troubled youth boy toy who's turned it around and she grabs my hand and i squeeze back as it's the new year. there's celebration and cheer and yelling and we hug and bff asks "so what's your first resolution" looking her in the eye with a smile and refusing to acknowledge the confused but all too familiar set of eyes i'm sure is on my back "to never look back" toast, cheers, etc noises as she looks confused momentarily but shrugs and smiles bc she may not get it but she /gets it/ and i do too, finally