Month

8 Apr 2024

Dream

Two or three months after my grandfather passed away in 2021 of November, I had, well, his family was in town, and his wake, his funeral, everything, them basically destroying my house and taking my home from us was horrible after he passed away, and a family friend of ours that is very close to me, she has special gifts, she hugged my aunt, that is my grandfather's sister, and she said she felt darkness, she felt cold when she hugged her, and it kind of shocked her, and then after that, after hearing that, I don't know if it was the night of or the following night, after they all left town, his whole family left town, I had a night terror, I was in my old bedroom, laying on my bed, I felt like I was awake, actually, a black cat came into my room, which is odd, because I don't have a cat, so, that was pretty odd, because it literally felt like I was awake, like I was just, you know, my whole room looked exactly the way it was, like I felt like I was in my bed watching TV, black cat came into my room, then weirdly transformed, and then I ended up with a woman sitting on my lap in a white gown with dark, long black hair, her black hair was covering her face, so I did not know what she looked like, she was sitting on my lap, I sleep on my back, when I'm sleeping, so she was sitting on me, I remember vividly shouting, yelling, screaming at her, get off me, what are you, why are you on me, but then I realized, I cannot open my mouth, my mouth would not open, I am screaming, trying to get the words out, but it's just in my head, I'm screaming in my head, God, get her off me, get her off me, who is she, get this demon off me, Lord, I don't know what to do, I can't speak, get her off me, I'm freaking out, I am so freaking out, and then I remember wanting to move, but I could not move, it was like I was frozen, my arms would not move, nothing would move, it felt like my eyes were open, and I was screaming in my head, because my mouth would not move, nothing was happening, she was still sitting on me, and then I remember waking up, waking up from the dream, which felt like it was going on forever, and I remember after waking up from my dream, I could not move, I could not speak, for a whole 20 minutes, after the 20 minutes I could finally move my body, and I just started crying, uncontrollable crying, I was shaking, I was trembling, like my anxiety, and my, I basically had a nervous breakdown, because it was so scary, I was so paralyzed with fear, and crying, because I did not feel safe anymore in my house after this, it was horrible, it was absolutely horrible.

7 Apr 2024

Dream

In real life I have this spa appointment booked in a month. In my dream I went to this appointment and the place looked sketchy, I was asked to go into this room and there were 5 beds, I was asked to go on one of the beds. There were girls on the other beds. There were bugs on the wall. Then my friend Marielle’s cousin entered the room and was asked to go on my bed too. Then the massage lady told us to all get undressed. I didnt feel comfortable doing that so I didnt

7 Apr 2024

Dream

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6 Apr 2024

Dream

I dreamt about my old coworker Liz, who I became super infatuated with. I always wanted to get to know her on a deeper level, but her professionalism kept that wall up between us. I once invited her to a birthday party and she declined because she could’ve gotten in trouble for hanging out with me, as it would break the rules of her job. I couldn’t help but feel a flirty tension between us though constantly. Unfortunately nothing ever happened between us, and I moved away a few months later. In the dream, however, we were paired together on the job like we used to, except this time she was going through struggles with her boyfriend, and I leaped on the opportunity. We crept around behind the scenes and hid from familier faces like Miguel, and Illiana, our store managers. The environment kept changing though, we weren’t working at Hollister but more of a Walmart/Sam’s club like store. And we hid in the isles and got to know each other well. When I was finally ready to make my move I kissed her. I felt as if it was real, every sensation I remember from my first kiss flooded my mind. Then I woke up not too long after…

4 Apr 2024

Dream

In the dream i looked frail and sickly and it had clearly been another night of no sleep or food. I then went to the doctor where they ran multiple tests and blood work and as i waited they made me sleep w sedatives. When i awoke they told my cancer had came back as stage 4 terminal and that i had 6 months to live. Then i woke up

3 Apr 2024

Dream

I had a dream about two moons last month .

2 Apr 2024

Dream

I randomly dreamt about my ex girlfriend telling me she would get the money today but still hasn’t done it. She hasn’t payed her part of the apartment for 2 months now. I’m also getting to know a girl and we get along really well and i really like her. In my dream she literally said: You can call me meli (the name of my exgirlfriend) and then i instantly woke up.

1 Apr 2024

Dream

I dreamt that I was living I a house whit my daughter at some point she was whit her father and I was holding a dildo party whit some girlfriends, when the party was over my sister and brother came to tjek if i was doing everything rights, our bond was cut off for a month ago because they choose to nkt include my in being apart of there family so we do t speak to each other anymore, it ended whit a fight in that dream and i kicked them out

31 Mar 2024

Dream

I was in my bed and my best friend who had passed away 2yrs earlier walked in with that amazing smile she always had and softly hugged me. I started crying so hard I couldn’t breathe! She said, “happy birthday baby girl” she had passed a month before my birthday and it was winter so it wasn’t even close to my birthday but I didn’t care I just hugged her and cried. She stood up to leave and I asked her to please don’t go but she said, “I have to go clean up pill vomit.” And I woke up crying

30 Mar 2024

Dream

i was at school with all of my friends and it was night time..there was this thing called a sugar cloud and it was so beautiful so we all stopped to take pictures but by the time we stopped taking pictures it was time to go back home so we split up into teachers cars and while in the car they kept asking alex one of my previous friends what was wrong and i wanted to ask at first also but i felt that being friends with him was too draining. they asked me what i wanted to est snd i got frustrated because i didnt know. when we drove by the gas station i saw the person i like that likes me back and i appeared in my dads car. i thought about him ssying he likes taking walks in other neighborhoods so i made myself remember to ask him if he wanted to take a walk with me. my dad parked snd told me to bring my own money which was weird because he usually never asked me to bring my own money and i spent to much money this month. i appeared in my dadd car again but his old car and he was driving and he asked me who a person was so we were guessing who

23 Mar 2024

Dream

kind of about eric ig in another universe. briefly shows me / "toni" (short for tonisha i think) meeting and flirting with him for the first time in a theater esque situation at 15. similar shit goes down and i just don't see him after being reprimanded a few months before my 18th things haven't really improved. i'm in a sort of wayward teens program and we're on a field trip. i have a rambunctious beast friend similar to kayla who takes her daily meds but still acts weird. i've mastered the art of not taking i think we're visiting a hospital or living facility of sorts, and i'm aimlessly wandering until i see a familiar name somewhere. i realize he's staying there and don't really tell bff but try to but she's busy talking with one of the male wayward teens she likes. it's kind of a race to evade both building staff and the crew watching the teens but i make it shortly after some religious folks leave the room. i'm panicked thinking he's in hospice but slowly walk in. just by my heels he goes "toni?" i think he's "quenton" in this dream but we sort of awkwardly look at each other before he smiles and we catch up and gossip and he's fine i think just staying in an exclusive residential suite bc he wants to "find himself" and i guess can afford to. at some point things get hot and flirty and kind of weird in the you're still so beautiful but all grown up way but its so sexy to me lol. in the dream some actually ?? stuff happens and bff is there and i think i was just very in real life horny lmao so my dream had a porn like scene anyways it gets back to some sense of reality when again in the dream he leaves halfway through ~activities saying he'll be back and me and best friend cry like wtf but a more normal scene in this hellscape would be i fall asleep after and he says something i can't really decipher and when i wake up he's gone and the alarms are going off in the hospital again my dream gets crazy and there's an action sequence and the hospital explodes ?? but let's say i and some other patients from either program / facility escape without jumping out of a tall ass building. bff somehow makes it out too and she's pissed at me first bc her crush didn't make it out or got bright back to the state custody but we eventually shrug and kind of become street urchins idk if i have family or she does but we spend the next few weeks kind of making the city outside of the "dishonorable youth" program. initially im trying to find him but there are no leads and bff convinces me to give up. it hurts and i wander one more night in a shady alley that's somehow relevant (lmao i think its a college bar area near where he claimed to live during the catching up scene, suggestive / creepy comments and all) and these two east asian guys ask me what a sign says and i'm like "black cherry?" (it looks like a bar) they laugh and speak another language so i walk away and decide that's it, he's gone xmas eve comes, the day before im assuming my / toni's 18th birthday and there's a sliver of hope that there will be a Christmas miracle but im starting to wake up at this point so the last actual dream part was me standing in what was kind of like central park of ny all lit up and i was looking at this really tall light post that's bulb was super bright and i pretended it was a shooting star before bff is like let's get wasted my own ending i think is that i wake up hungover as shit with this guy snapping and going "hello?" and i think he's my shooting star come true on my birthday morning so im like "quin"?? and he says "who?" as the sleepiness leaves my eyes and he's just some college guy from a bar we went to. i blink before smiling and replying "ah, nobody" other parts in the dream that were probably "in order" before my own ending but i couldn't make sense of it in a linear manner include coming back to the hospital that's now in good condition with better security and we make a joke to the receptionists about the incident months prior which makes them confused first then surprised. i think we go the equivalent of jk, oh can we get these drinks? i also think i made note of not seeing his name on the visiting sheet as an option or something so it could have been during the "where's pedo" montage alternative ending i get some sort of real closure? it's been years of no contact atp and i think nye following my 21st and i see him at the event and he sees me. i don't feel the same butterflies and anxiety but just.. weird so i go somewhere less crowded to drink water and this time he followed me. vague small talk, some awkward silences, and then we both say im sorry. and he's like why are u sorry and while i feel like i have a reason i stop and frown and i just don't know. he goes you aren't because you don't need to be and talks about the regret of ruining my adolescence and that's why he ran bc while the night was fun and thrilling it wasn't right and wouldn't end in good for anyone. like how i'm on track in community college after getting my ged (which i mentioned during small talk) and he's in therapy and trying to talk to ppl his age *awkward pained but genuine laughter* we nod and look away nervously while ppl filter in and out of what's probably someone's penthouse kitchen. the ball drop is soon and he says my name and i instinctively look despite feeling ashamed be almost a dog on call, following every command. he says something goofy to lighten the mood but i interrupt and kiss him as the countdown starts. its brief but passionate and at five i go "goodbye, quenton" and run off to the glass/window walls as one approaches. bff is there with u troubled youth boy toy who's turned it around and she grabs my hand and i squeeze back as it's the new year. there's celebration and cheer and yelling and we hug and bff asks "so what's your first resolution" looking her in the eye with a smile and refusing to acknowledge the confused but all too familiar set of eyes i'm sure is on my back "to never look back" toast, cheers, etc noises as she looks confused momentarily but shrugs and smiles bc she may not get it but she /gets it/ and i do too, finally

23 Mar 2024

Dream

Recurring dream that I can't graduate from my lyceum (it's like high school). I dream it at least once a month. In these dreams I either had been away for some time or had failed to finish some assignments. All my teachers want me to finally graduate. Sometimes my classmates cannot graduate too, and some of us are stuck there together. Sometimes my classmates move forward, but are still at the lyceum too, but I'm far behind them. My math and biology teachers appear in almost every dream where I fail to graduate. In these dreams I understand that I was supposed to graduate years ago, and that I'm years late, and that I'm stuck.