John, your nightmare sounds deeply distressing, and it's clear why it had such a strong emotional impact on you. The presence of your beloved cat Nels in the dream, coupled with your inability to save him, suggests feelings of helplessness and anxiety. This feeling of powerlessness might be linked to your current life where you're facing situations that seem out of your control. The cat being stuck and struggling could symbolize something precious in your life that you're afraid of losing or unable to protect. The rising water represents escalating emotions or situations, and your attempts to stop it indicate a desire to control these overwhelming feelings or events.
The repetition of you hoping it was a dream and waking up crying reflects an acute awareness of your emotional state and a strong desire for relief from these distressing feelings. Your previous dreams often start peacefully and end with disturbances, which mirrors this experience of an ordinary beginning escalating to an emergency. This pattern might suggest an underlying anxiety about unexpected problems arising in your life, even in safe and familiar settings.
Considering your past experiences, there's a visible thread of anxiety about protection and safety. For instance, your life event of buying a new house initially symbolized freedom, but perhaps now, there may be underlying fears regarding the security of this sanctuary. Similarly, the custody battle for Kaitlyn left you with PTSD, which might now translate into a fear of losing those you care deeply about, as seen with Nels in your dream.
Your dream also resonates with the feelings of sadness and frustration you've experienced in recent years, such as the depression diagnosis and the mid-life crisis you're navigating. These life events are significant and could be contributing to a sense of instability or concern for the well-being of yourself and those close to you, like Nels. The dream may be a manifestation of these internal struggles, representing a call from your subconscious to address these feelings.
In conclusion, the nightmare seems to be an expression of your current emotional challenges, fears of loss, and a desire for control amidst chaos. It's a reflection of the various life events that have shaped your emotional landscape. The recurring theme of starting with peace and ending in distress in your dreams could be pointing to an underlying anxiety that could be worth exploring further, as it seems to be a significant source of distress for you.