33

28 Mar 2024

Dream

I had a very odd dream with a negative undertone. When I woke up, I felt like, whoa, that was a weird dream. And, yeah, it didn't wake me up, but it was very weird. It was kind of dark, and it was in a place that I don't know, and I was dressed kind of in rags. And everyone just wanted to sleep with me. There was this dog that was outside and I was I was going through I was sitting in this one place and I looked outside and I was like wow that's one of the places that I was supposed to see that's one of the famous places. And Marek, my colleague that I like a lot, he's really nice and a very genuine person, was in my dream too. And he looked outside and he was like, oh yeah, that's one of those places and it had a dinosaur with a number 33 on it. And then I was like, oh cool. So I just started walking outside and decided I'm gonna see the place. So I went through the restaurant and around. and out and there was this beautiful courtyard and apparently there was like a theater show going on but the artists were outside just chilling on one of the benches and they were Polish and I could understand them But everybody else wasn't polished so they couldn't understand. But I didn't say anything I just listened to what they said and they're just talking about how tired they were Nothing spectacular. They're old men Not very old, but like in their late 50s, and they were just chilling in the sun and not caring about life. and there were some big swings and I just decided that I'm gonna go swinging because it seemed like a nice place to look out at the rest of the courtyard from. so I was swinging and there was this dog sitting there and he started looking at me and I thought that's a cute dog it was a kind of bulldog but I didn't see the evil in him I saw the good But after looking in his eyes, I realized that he also wanted to sleep with me. And everyone in the dream just had their, they were different kind of things but behind the eyes there were people and there was no rules. They were all just people but in different forms. So this dog wanted to talk to me, but when I realized that I just jumped off from the swing and I was running and I ran through the house, closed the doors behind me until I reached this one closet. and there was an Indian lady there and she was like hide here and I will tell him you're not here and then I was looking around and I realized that I was wearing Converse all-stars and I need to go deeper into the closet because the dog's eye is lower and the door is not so... there's a hole in the door which you can see through. So I went deeper into the closet and I was worried about spiders being there. But I just thought I will not think about it. So I put my hand down on this wood and I was just in the closet hiding. And thinking about other things and trying not to think about spiders being there. and the dog was walking around and suddenly my mind changed the dog into an older Indian lady. And she was looking around and kind of looked into my eyes while I was in the closet because there was glass doors. But she just kept walking and I don't know if she saw me or if she pretended not to see me. She really didn't see me. And then she just grabbed her jacket from the closet where I was in but she didn't look at me and went away. And the other Indian is like, hey, what he what the fuck And I didn't say anything because I was like, the lady fucking hasn't even left yet. Why is this idiot bitch talking to me right now? I can wait. So I waited a few minutes and then I answered and I was like just leave me alone and then I woke up.

13 Mar 2024

Dream

I don't remember this dream at all. I remember just the end of it. I was in my home. I was looking at the bedroom where my brother and my mother slept. But somehow I didn't see it through my eyes. I saw it somehow from a distance. And I saw them sleeping. My mom lifted her head up and opened her eyes. She whitened them in a inhuman way. They were red and big eyeballs. And she stared at me, and I said, Mom, Mom! I screamed at her. I said, I'm here, I'm here, but she did not listen. And her eyes were terrifying. Then my brother, who was also sleeping, suddenly opened her eyes and they were completely white and almost glowing like a demon. And I remember saying, I'm here, I'm here, it's okay, mom, mom, and I was terrified, but she didn't listen, she just stared at me in the middle of a black room. And I remember I was close to waking up, and I was trying to wake up for the past like 5 or more minutes, but I couldn't wake up, it was terrifying, I couldn't move. And then I suddenly opened my eyes and was back to reality, and it was 3 in the morning, almost 3, 33 in the morning. I was so horrified, I couldn't... I couldn't sleep again. I watched my phone, but... yeah, that's it.

24 Nov 2023

Dream

Last night I had a dream about my daughter’s father (my ex boyfriend - he’s 33, I’m 23). For context, she’s 3 months old and he hasn’t seen her yet because of legal and custody reasons (in person or through pictures/videos, mainly for her safety). In my dream, he invited me over to his house. It looked like he moved and got his place renovated, decorated, and made it look nicer than his other place. It appeared to be an apartment or flat. It was nighttime for reference and was very nice inside - brick walls, string lights, vines, pictures, etc. When I went inside, he was laying down next to her, hugging her, reading her a book and talking with her. She was smiling at him the entire time. She was a little older here, around 6-8 years old. It was a precious and wholesome moment watching them spending time together in the dim, warm lights. It was peaceful and serene. There were a couple of his friends there too in another part of his place, letting us be. Then my ex (although we’ve been separated for several months now and broke up for good) hugged me tight and was very happy to be with me in that moment, kissed me, showing me affection - very warm, gently, yet passionate and genuine then. We were also intimate with each other while we were there although we were seeing different partners. I’ve always yearned for moments like these to happen in my life. But he’s the complete opposite in real life. He’s very tyrannical, cruel, abusive (emotionally, financially, verbally, physically, sexually), basically a living narcissistic menace and hypocrite. He does have good moments and days, and is one of the funniest people I know, but he’s not a good person. He lied for me the entire time we’ve known each other. I thought he was the one, the best person I’ve ever met and would be a great father, but no, just tons of manipulation, future faking, breadcrumbing, gaslighting, etc. Despite this, I really needed a dream and moment like this with him and our daughter. I miss him so much, but deep down inside I know he’s a danger to me and our daughter.

20 Nov 2023

Dream

My dreams are still about my fiance Andrew Joseph Chenoweth. He is in real life still in Alabama as far as I know. He was in jail for a while also in Alabama. In real life. So in my dreams I dream of the mental health hospital and of the jail and of Andrew. In real life Andrew is 33 and I am 44. In real life I have not heard from him since December 7, 2022. In real life I still live in my house in Oregon. With my 3 cats and 2 very small dogs. In real life I have not been around Andrew since February 9, 2021. But in the dream I am around him and talking to him.

3 Nov 2023

Dream

i’m at a camp with ck and geoff, who are a couple. geoff and i have a history of flirtation and that comes out in the dream. we party one evening and then the next morning i wake up early and am ready to leave so i begin packing my things. geoff comes in to help me but i notice that he stole one of my bedsheets, almost like a souvenir of something personal of mine for him to keep. i’ve got all my things together and then run out to find my car but i’m a bit unsure of where it is parked. while i’m walking to find it, i get a call from a younger guy i met at the camp who is there with his mom and has a crush on me. he wants me to come to another party he’s having that night and i say i might but really i probably won’t because i’m tired from the camp and need to do laundry and get settled because it’s sunday. i think “i’m 33 and it’s sunday, i’m not going to party on a sunday.”