15 May 2025
Dream
In one dream a well built man in maybe camo or strong dark brown khakis was running across the street making jokes that a little girl had asked him to do something, and she’d said “absolplutely.” I was outside my apartment on a sunny day and I watched him go across the street, squat on the asphalt over there, and defecate through his pants. I didn’t mind seeing it but didn’t want to smell it, but the wind was such that I caught a whiff anyway. It did indeed smell like poop.
In one dream I was at my aunt and uncle’s house in an extremely fancy bedroom. The AC and the bed itself had remotes for all the settings. There were actually three or four remotes and I ignored the couple that I couldn’t identify and looked pretty old in terms of technology. I tried to simplify all the settings, thinking this many was overwhelming and unnecessary, but I ended up printing my aunt and uncles utility bill somehow for these devices, they were pretty big numbers, I tried not to look too hard for their privacy and laid a remote atop all the ones that had printed. So it wouldn’t look like I’d seen them or looked closely. At this same house I had only a few outfits but put my earrings on in exciting combinations and changed out of a silk peach blouse that I didn’t really like to wear a purple sundress with dark blue flowers, which was super pretty. I remember looking in the bathroom mirror putting on different earrings, looking a little plumper and younger. My hair was longer and worn the way I’d worn it as a child. I also remember putting on a pink ball gown with a satin fitted bodice and tulle skirt and sleeves, and feeling that a female child would love this look and call me a princess, but I also had a big sunburn on my chest and upper arms. My boobs also looked way bigger and burned.
In another dream I was babysitting my friend Conrad’s little sister. Shes an adult in real life and nothing like this dreamed version of her, but anyway here she was about 11 years old with short straight blonde hair put in French braids, and she went to a nice private school with her friend, a mixed race girl with long tight black curly hair who was on her phone a lot. They wore catholic school girl outfits with burgundy jackets and plaid skirts, and I was sitting outside with them with autumn all around us. There were golden and orange and yellow leaves and trees everywhere. I watched a video Conrad’s sister made, which was of her school and included some speaking elements in Thai. It was a bilingual school. The video was shot a bit choppy and some details were missing but her Thai sounded pretty good and I felt supportive. Later back outside with her friend, she spoke really fluent and beautiful Thai, and I realized it was way better than mine would ever be, and I started to feel envious and weird. I wish I’d gotten to go to a bilingual school. Then the girl spoke to another white student in Chinese, one with red hair who was retreating into a campus building at a distance, and that set me off. I felt so angry and betrayed that this little girl spoke not only Thai but also Chinese, and I studied Chinese for ten years without similar results. I wasn’t going to hurt either girl but I was so envious and angry that I wanted to get away and cry and call Conrad for support. I was suddenly behind some metal doors and they were sort of dented open at their juncture, and I slammed my fist on them in hopes of getting Conrad’s attention. Around that time I had a brief and not too scary false awakening. Overall it was a mixed dream of positive feelings and stress, and I’m moving soon so I’m thinking about my past and what’s changed and what’s to come.
