16 Aug 2025
Dream
I was hired by an underground organization to apply my skill as a writer. The project was clandestine, but not illegal. It was my job to write persuasive arguments for some position or other. I would submit them and never hear back. I worked from a comfortable home that I never left. I remember things being dark throughout the dream and wanting to increase the gamma but being unable to. It made me feel a little depersonalized IN THE DREAM - in other words, my CPTSD was showing its symptoms *performatively*, as if my subconscious was bringing my attention to the emotional experience of being in a de-realized (dreamlike?) state WHILE IN FACT BEING IN A such a state, since that is rather like what a dream is!
However, I did not experience lucidity of the sort that makes one aware that he’s dreaming. Instead, I got a simulation of that; my experience was a variety, I think, of the dream within a dream phenomenon.
Have you heard of this sort of layered experience before but not with respect to fully lucid dreaming, which while interesting is less interesting than this!