Hope, your dream takes us deep into the emotional landscape that has shaped your life, particularly regarding your relationship with your father and the trauma that has ensued from it. The setting of your old Hakone house is significant; it represents not just a physical space but a repository of memories, both good and bad. The fact that you are waiting for your father to come home at midnight suggests a sense of dread and anticipation. Midnight often symbolizes the unknown, a time when darkness prevails, mirroring the emotional turmoil you've experienced in your family dynamic. This sense of waiting can also be interpreted as a yearning for resolution or closure regarding your father's actions and their impact on your family.
The act of planning to kill your father in the dream is stark and shocking; however, it reflects deep-seated feelings of anger and helplessness. This violent imagery is not meant to be taken literally but rather showcases the extent of your emotional suffering and the wish to reclaim power in a situation where you felt powerless. The recollection of your father's abusive behaviors serves as a backdrop for this extreme response in your dream. It speaks to a desire to confront and eliminate the source of your pain—an expression of a wish to liberate both yourself and your mother from his grasp.
The subsequent actions of cooking and eating him indicate an attempt to internalize the trauma and perhaps symbolize the way you've had to absorb his toxicity throughout your life. This surreal act can represent a complex mix of feelings—guilt, shame, and a twisted sense of justice. The meticulous planning to dispose of the body and erase evidence illustrates your awareness of the societal repercussions of such actions, echoing the fear of being judged or misunderstood due to your family's dynamics and your father's behavior. It showcases a battle between your survival instincts and the ingrained fear of authority, as seen with your interactions with the police.
As you flee into the bamboo forest, the lush yet prickly environment symbolizes the complexity of your current emotional state. Bamboo can represent resilience and flexibility, but the sharpness mirrors the painful experiences that have left marks on your psyche. The image of the police pursuing you is a manifestation of your internal struggles, reflecting your feelings of being trapped and hunted by your past, unable to escape the ramifications of your father's actions. The skin graft you mention further symbolizes a desire for transformation and healing, yet the reference to a non-terrestrial skin suggests a sense of alienation or feeling different from others around you.
Overall, your dream is a powerful narrative filled with emotional conflicts and the yearning for a different reality. It speaks volumes about the trauma you've faced and the coping mechanisms you've developed.