Clutter

6 Sep 2024

Dream

I moved into a small, dark, cluttered, somewhat dingy apartment with 2 or 3 other people. Certain things in the apartment didn’t work. There was a large bed sheet hanging up to separate the kitchen from the rest of the apartment. Something about the apartment felt comforting even though it was in poor condition. I was sitting at the dining table lighting candles or something.

29 Aug 2024

Dream

Everything around me was a blank white canvas. Like a never ending white open room and space. Suddenly some mail appears and some of the mail is for my dad, and some of the mail if for Tyreq. I think to myself, “why is Tyreq sending his mail to my home?” So of course I open up the mail out of curiosity, and they seemed very important although I couldn’t remember exactly what his mail stated. Then suddenly, the white blank surroundings around me turn into North Carolina and I’m taken to outside of Tyreqs apartment and I see him, and his brother Tyshawn, and Tyshawn’s girlfriend Rhi. Rhi waves hello to me even though this is surprising since she doesn’t really ever remember me too clearly (I think because Tyreq has a lot of women around) and she says to me “wow! You really do have a nice glow and aura to you since you’ve moved” Tyshawn just stays in the passenger side of the car and doesn’t say much. I turn to my left and I see a fridge next to the side walk with a price tag on it. I give Tyreq a hug but he looks different. He also goes by James, but since I’ve known him for so long I usually just call him Tyreq but for some reason he seemed more of a James this time around - someone different then I’m used to seeing. I follow him up the stairs, and my bag is left at the side walk. We start talking and catching up as usual… but again something’s off… someone has also been staying on his couch, he’s in a new place, and I thought to myself “it doesn’t really smell bad in here like people it does” it was just the usual clutter. We go into his bedroom and I ask if i can take a shower before we relax together. He says sure, and when I’m in the shower the steam gets so overwhelming that I have an asthma attack and I can barely see in the bathroom. I leave the bathroom to get my inhaler from my bag outside and I realize I look a little crazy with nothing but a towel going outside but I needed my inhaler so oh well. I bump into Tyreq and he seems confused. He says “why are you outside in your towel?” “I needed my inhaler” I say back to him… then he says “well you should’ve told me to get it for you you should be more mean and aggressive to me, shit even gaslight me if you need to to get what you need” I’m a little too stunned to speak. Then all the sudden, Michael Starks (someone really don’t like” looks over the balcony and says something to Tyreq. I immediately feel the anxiety setting in. I never would’ve came over had I know Michael would be there. All the sudden I randomly see my friend Lexi driving past in her car and I almost wanted to flag her down and just get in the car with her but she passed me. However, she loops around multiple times but I never get into the car. We all go back upstairs and suddenly Tyreqs mood switches up and changes to being aggressive towards a womanly figure and keeps saying a lot of things about this woman… I look to the living room to see Tyshawn, Rhi, and someone else drawing on a white board and writing things down. As I step closer I start drawing a circle. Then I wake up

19 Aug 2024

Dream

We were at our old house again only this time it was different. I was spending time in my parents room because my room was a mess, clutter everywhere. It looked like I was moving things around and got tired. I was getting upset with my parents they kept having people over, never quiet. Then someone brought over a dead horse and my family insisted we eat it. I was disgusted and went back to finish moving around my room. Ended up going to some kind of zoo and aquarium. I was waiting for my friends to get there and I wanted to see the great white shark they had in captivity. My friends didn’t seem excited to see it, and I told them it was okay and that I had already been there once to see it and it was fine. It took them forever to get there but they finally did and we made our way over to the shark tank. They were still pretty uneasy, but once we started to see the shark in action they were impressed. Things started to feel ominous, and so we decided to leave and made our ways to the giant glass doors. Someone was standing too close to the edge, and people told them to move. The shark came and grabbed them. Everyone started to panic after that, and we all fought to get through the door. My friends and I made it, and we kept running to get out of the shark exhibit. But then we heard a loud boom and then soon water came and began to flood everywhere. There was a little kid all by herself and I picked her up. We ended up still stuck in the hallway of the exhibit. We ended up hiding in what looked like a meeting room. It was completely underwater and we had to hold our breathes. A shark came in, not the great white but another that tried to take a bit out of us but its mouth was oddly shaped and couldn’t get us back into a corner. Once it gave up, we snuck out and managed to get out of the shark exhibit. Unfortantely it was chaos everywhere. Injured people all around, I was still holding the child, I’d say was about two years old with all my might. We were being evacuated but people in a panic kept pushing and climbing over one another. I saw an opening to cut through the people and begged for someone to help lift us up. Someone finally heard and brought us up. It was Hugh Jackman. I woke up.

1 Aug 2024

Dream

I was with a group of people that were supposedly my coworkers. We were in a large room or house and we were all trying to get dressed and leave to go somewhere to do some work. I kept trying to get dressed but couldn’t get my clothes on properly. I finally left the room and went to a place that was my office and my desk was very cluttered. There was someone I didn’t know sleeping in my desk and I kept trying to get them to leave but they wouldn’t move. I walked away and I ran into my cousin. I asked her why wasn’t she replying to my text messages about jobs and she said she no longer had to work because she has three million dollars. I was confused and she wouldn’t tell me more.

5 Jul 2024

Dream

I dreamt that I was with my family, my father, brother, stepmom, and members in a house or vacation rental. With each day of our stay at the rental, there was an accumulation of clutter such as boxes, bags, magazines, toys, books and luggage, carry-on, etc. As time lapsed only a path remained open to allow for movement within the house. As the clutter accumulated, so did my anxiety and frustration grow the unhealthy environment. In another part of my dream, I was driving at night on a busy thoroughfare. My father was sitting on passenger side, making unhelpful comments about me to which I got very angry and snapped back at him. The dream seem to continue with another part where I had returned late from my summer vacation. I was reporting to work very late, long after the initial meeting had started. I didn’t know what to do or what was going on, and I felt embarrassed. There was a college class I was taking and I knew I couldn’t or didn’t have the first paper that was due that day.

4 Jul 2024

Dream

I had a dream that my deceased mother was actually alive and was sent to a hospital out of town and I had to immediately leave to go to her. During the time I lost my luggage, lost my phone, and wrecked my car. A coworker was there with me and let me stay at her own mothers home, but the house was a cluttered mess. Eventually I get to the hospital where my mother is supposed to be, but they let me know she’s not there. I finally make the realization in the dream that she was actually dead and the whole situation was not real and that I must have been in some form of psychosis.

1 Jul 2024

Dream

I was in my current home but it looked like one of my childhood homes on the inside. I was living with my ex husband but cheating on him with my current husband. My ex husband was cheating on me with the woman he actually cheated on me with. I was sleep in my room and my cat midnight laid on my back so I thought until I got up and realized it was a different cat. It was a bunch of cats in various rooms and a lot were kittens that I believed my cat moon had. It was cats everywhere. Some rooms had boxes in them stacked up. It was a lot of clutter. I argued with my ex husband about helping pay the bills after he revealed he spent over $700 in gifts at a Michael Kors store. I knew the gifts weren’t for me and assumed they were for his girlfriend. I kicked him out of my room telling him to leave. He just grabbed his stuff and went to the next room. Two ladies showed up to talk with my daughter to evaluate her for school and say happy birthday. I grew angrier knowing my ex husband was still in the house and I snuck to the other room to yell at him and keep him completely out of the house. As he was grabbing his things the ladies completed their assessments with my daughter and we went downstairs to a surprise social distance birthday party for my daughter from teachers at her school.

14 May 2024

Dream

Am at what looks like a hybrid of my grandma’s house, the dingy apartment my late mother and younger lived in when I was in Hakone from around the 9th grade or so, and another house I lived in until I was around the 8th(I lived in Tokyo so I’d visit them every now and then) Am hiding away from my father, my mother offers me a room to stay in until it’s over The room is identical to my room in the second house we had in Hakone but rarely felt “home” in due to the fact that 1. I couldn’t keep my locks on, 2. Most of the time my father would use it whenever he’d come and visit and 3. Even when he’s away to Tokyo for work my mother would have me sleep with her and my brother in the same room because “they are my family” and “families spend time together” and “I have my own space to be alone in back at Tokyo anyway(I didn’t; I basically slept in the same room as my father there, had no privacy unless I got back from school earlier and he was back from work late, and even that was rare because after COVID he’d have a stay-at-home job) At where the cloth-hanger was in the Hakone apartment I see a vision of some sort of a saint or a bodhisattva After that my grandmother(the mother’s side’s) comes in and sorts the clutter in the room out and such My mother is also in the room, offering prayers to the ancestors by the Buddhist altar A small artwork done by a child is being hung on the wall right beside the space in the wall, along with a portrait of a bodhisattva statue Mother says that ever since I was little, monks would remark that I’m being protected by the Acalanatha, and teachers say that I’m blessed by Manjusri themselves And then a thought about Princess Suseri and Princess Toyotama two of the Shinto deities a guardian deity identification has brought my attention to as potential matrons, comes to mind I wake up

3 Apr 2024

Dream

I was at work but I wasn't at work the environment was totally different. All the rooms were filled with clutter and lots of different items my boss told me to go and find a calander and I kept having to delve deeper down the floors to find one. When I finally found the calender it was really old and from the year 1995. Then I was in the countryside and I started a bike race one of my friends but it was really competitive and a lot of it was up hill and a struggle. Also the race was super long and I can't remember who won if anyone of us did?

29 Mar 2024

Dream

I had a dream one night where I was in a post apocalyptic world. The area I was traversing in was a mixture of various places I knew throughout my life with an empty backpack. I was by myself and the buildings around me were beat up, abandoned and neglected. I went into what used to be a verizon store and searched through some of the dusty clutter inside. I ended up finding a first aid kit and a bible. I picked up one after the other and examined them before putting them both in my backpack and leaving.

28 Mar 2024

Dream

Walking through public showers/bathroom that had a door in the corner, when opening the door it led to a zig zag style hallway that I recognized. The hallway red carpets, dim light, and clutter of boxes and clothes and just random clutter everywhere, and red walls and a lot of doors. The walkway was endless with no way to reach the end.

27 Jan 2024

Dream

I had been asked to get the grandparents house together for some people who were coming by. They asked me to hide certain things in the garage, like a yellow hard hat and some boxes. I wasn’t sure why, I thought it was simply because they didn’t want clutter detracting from the simple narrative of the home. I was in the process of following these instructions when the people show up. They are wearing yellow hard hats and gloves and bringing stuff similar to the things that were hidden. I am not sure if I should conceal what I’ve been doing, or conceal my presence altogether, but I decide to hide behind a large box in garage. It is no use though. A young man comes toward the box and says “hello’”. I emerge from behind the box and greet him. “we are just dropping a few things off for you. Do you need a rug?” he hands me a soft woven door mat” “I think we have a welcome mat already.” I show it to him.. “Oh, no. This one is to wipe your feet on.” he positions one on the porch and the other in front of the door. Then he says “I was wondering if you’d be interested in coming to our church? “We already go to church.” I reply, but thank you. I confront the grandparents because I feel like I’d been set up for this encounter. I ask why they wanted me to meet this guy. To which the grandmother says , “I was just trying to get you to go to church. “we have a church” I tell her. She looks frustrated, “I mean a REAL church.” thus revealing that when she had visited she had not been impressed with the informality of what she had seen. “Oh” I say, “You’re one of those”. I continue, “I suppose you need the architecture, and the windows - have you forgotten that Jesus said, “where two or more are gathered in my name, I am there in the midst of them?”