Clean

16 Jul 2024

Dream

Last night (or this morning) I dreamt that I went to the beach with my cousin and 2 other girls, that I didn't recognize, and we were eating a really big doughnut. But they were only taking little bites and I wanted more. Like, we were leaving and left it there and I wanted to go back and eat more of it but I couldn't. And then it was just me and my cousin and my dog that passed away, that I'm still very upset over, and we were at my cousin's dad's old house where he lived when we were teenagers. But the house looked like it had been damaged by a bad storm and water/ wind so we were trying to clean up so we put my dog on the porch and I kept going out to check on him. And there was a bunch of stuff in the house that looked like it was from the set of a play or something, like pieces of walls and lights and stuff. And we were trying to move stuff around so we could put all the wet stuff in the "bad" part of the house so we could be in the "good" part. Then I checked on my dog again and I woke up crying.

14 Jul 2024

Dream

I was trying to clean an old house in order to leave and go home. The house was very gross and rotted. There were many rooms like a maze and I had to crawl through the walls and floors to find the next room. We had to leave our dog on a chain there so I took extra time to make sure the dog had everything it needed until someone else came to stay there

13 Jul 2024

Dream

I am driving at night to go somewhere. I notice the stars in the sky and felt the need to just admire it. I speed across the street and up a hill so steep I felt I was going to fly into the sky. I parked my car on the side of the road, and stood watching the stars at what seemed the highest point of the steep road. Going back to my car I noticed plastic bags or balloons are tied to the top. I seem to be working at a childcare center or some sort of school for young children. I remember looking out the window to see staff members out side with the kids. I’m in front of a whiteboard, I seem hesitant to write something, and another staff asked me if they could write on it so I stepped aside. I am in the bathroom. I closed the door behind me and sat on the toilet. I noticed the bathroom was flooded as my feet were submerged in water. Everywhere inside the bathroom was wet and smelled clean. It felt as if it was just cleaned by some sort of cycle, like a washing machine cycle. I close my eyes for a few minutes. When I opened my eyes a child was crawling into the bathroom. I stopped them and told them to leave. She was pointing at something but I didn’t stop to noticed because I was in panic. I am back at the whiteboard. I am struggling to write something on it. Whiteboard and I are outside. It seems the person who’s lesson I am to teach gets out of a vehicle and asked if they can present their work using the whiteboard. Someone was asking me why I am not able to teach the lesson. It was as if they are disappointed the owner of the lesson had to do it because I couldn’t.

8 Jul 2024

Dream

I had a dream with lice in my head. I was laying down with on of my students and in the pillow I saw a lice. I knew I got lice from this student. I decided to clean my hair. So I put a heavy conditioner and when brushing my hair. Omg a lot of lice keep coming out. Every brush was full of lice. At the end my hair got clean but not completely as I still seeing one or two lice in my hair.

28 Jun 2024

Dream

In my dream I saw myself, or at least who was supposed to be me, like watching myself from someone else’s eyes, like how you watch a movie. I don’t remember much, what I do remember is that the person I saw (me) was sitting by an half empty pool, cleaning out debris and filth. I somehow knew I had a purpose doing this. It was really disgusting work. I was interrupted continuously with other things to do, other things that took away my attention and I forgot about the pool and the filth. And then in the middle of the dream I remembered the pool and that I needed to clean it out and I was taken back there in a blink of an eye, like I had never gone in the first place. This continued on for most of the dream, and it was only when I was by the pool that I saw myself from an outside perspective. When I was pulled away by other things I was myself and experiencing things as myself, not outside my body. I felt a lot of frustration and stress and guilt in this dream. A feeling of not being enough and doing enough but also a feeling of being very lonely.

27 Jun 2024

Dream

I can't remember the beginning of the dream but I was with Dr. Shields one of the first grade teachers. We ended at my old babysitter's house even though she passed away years ago. We were talking in the kitchen and then Dr. Shields walked away. I went into my old babysitter's bedroom looking for something but I couldn't find it. My sister and someone else was in the front room talking. I went up there and like it looked like the living room but it was just things out of place. I walked into the hallway to the area which was the dining room. The dining room table was no longer there but the curios was filled with stuff and then it was some large trash bags filled with things. By the curio, was a computer and and some stereo equipment. I tried to detangle the wires so nobody would trip and then I placed it inside the curio. I then got up to sweep as it looked like it wasn't swept for awhile. My sister came in the room to show me a picture of us that our baby sitter had in the room. Then she was like you're cleaning? Yeah, I told her, it just felt right to do. Then she was like what's in those big bags. I peaked in and told her it was some of my old clothes.

22 Jun 2024

Dream

Someone is showing me their new apaetment. It has a pool and is very nice. He says that It is going to be clean, very clean and I tell him that he better hire a professional because they do such a better job

21 Jun 2024

Dream

My boyfriend and I got married and moved to a house in a foreign country, and everything was perfect for a small amount of time. Then my POV switched to a man cleaning up a little farm, and a 500 year old tree that had somehow lifted itself off the ground to create a little cubby under the roots. It was full of trash and old memorabilia. I was cleaning it up and out and while I was I was telling my boyfriend about it. I’m still in the POV of some random guy. I assume myself as a man, seeing as I at some point want to transition. But I’m talking to my boyfriend about all this, and I’m telling him about how after all these years, there’s been 5 murders under this tree. I start to tell him the stories of it all and I finish with a story about a scorned lover killing himself and his wife with him. I don’t remember wether he believed me or not. But then our kid, a little girl, came up to me and walked with me, to help me clean up the tree. My husband was inside the house. Me and my husband have had a hard time in the past controlling his urges. I got the tree all cleaned up and started cleaning up the garden by the tree, we’d eating and throwing away trash. The garden was full of ducks, like so many ducks, and one had a cute little hat. We had a cat there and her name was Penelope or patches I don’t remember. My daughter and I cleaned up everything and went inside, to find my husband on the phone. I ask him who he’s talking to. He ignores me. Suddenly I’m my female self again, and I’m in a couple chairs under the tree, so is my husband. He is my current real life boyfriend, but he looks and acts like a mixture of all my exes. This weird woman, in a suit starts asking us questions like “what animal do you think this man represents” and she would show me a picture of a stranger. I’d say something and be wrong, but suddenly there was this other woman on the other side of my husband, she was snarky and a pick me girl. She got it right and said chameleon. And they then showed us a picture of a man transforming into a chameleon. I look around noticing my boyfriend\husband flirting with this new woman. I trust him so I ignore it but it bothered me. Some time later we are in our 2 story house and all 3 of us , myself my husband and this mysterious pick me girl, are sitting in my marital bed. She asks a bunch of weird questions and acts better than me, and I straight up ask my husband if they’ve slept together. And he goes silent, i gasp and ask again. He nods and walks out of the room. I ask her, she agrees and laughs. I start to tear up, following him out of the room, making sure our daughter is nowhere near us. I see the tree outside our window. I urge my husnband to tell me why but he stays silent and just packs his things. She taunts me and asks why I even care, I get violent and threaten to throw her down these stairs and she runs and laughs. We tussle and eventually she starts saying she’s a better lover than me. She suddenly hides in a bottle of cooking oil, and I throw it off the balcony into the foyer. Killing her. My husband says oh my god, yk I have to call someone. I cry and beg him to stay, I ask him why and how long, I go from angry to sad to heartbroken. He said it’s been this way for years. With different women. I ask why and he says he just has urges, and he shrugs, I yell at him and he pushes me lightly and walks out the front door. I walk out with him and curse him while begging him to stay “I can change” I say. My boyfriend/husband bringing up how I’ve restricted him on several things, and I say if I would have known that restricting him would make him cheat I wouldn’t have done anything. He packs his bag on his back and we walked to the airport. I’m freaking out and he is saying how he’s leaving. I ask him if we can try again, but he does a sexual innuendo with his fingers, desperate for him to stay I agree to do that and he leaves. I cry and beg and plead but he still leaves. I’m then at the airport, headphones on, no one speaks English and I’m just wandering around crying. I mean messy awful guttural loud crying. I’m in a foreign country by myself with my cat and my daughter, and a house that I built a life in with someone who destroyed me. I lay the glass shards of his mistress under the tree.

15 Jun 2024

Dream

I was painting, I started trying to paint in the bathtub, some paint spilled and I had to clean it up, the shower curtain dipped in the paint by mistake. I was using cobalt blue and burnt sienna colors, I tried to do the spectrum of colors with primary colors and then let the canvas go under the rain to let the rain dictate how the colors mixed, I ended up painting layers over it and it looked impressionist style a bit too, there was an opening where an impressionist scene in clouds looked like the boundary waters.

14 Jun 2024

Dream

Dream of someone cleaning my bathroom tiles sparkly clean

12 Jun 2024

Dream

I was in a shoe store I used to work at looking at shoes. There were really cute boots and sandals and I was enjoying myself. Then there were these bratty kids running around climbing on the shelves and just destroying things. I told them they need to stop but they just told me they don’t care. I told their mom to control her kids and she told me to fuck off. So I told the sales associate and she said there was nothing she could do. So I started to throw jewelry that was on the displays and saying “well it doesn’t matter because no one here cares!” But then I felt really bad so I started cleaning up the necklaces and apologizing. Then I woke up.

24 May 2024

Dream

Dream of mum feeling tired and sick and indifferent, keep throwing rubbish, clothes, towels and many other things into the toilet bowl and basin, causing both of them to flood and unable to drain and flush. I had to remove the rubbish by hand before my dad comes back. It was disgusting and I almost puked. Finally I was able to flush the toilet bowl and use the basin