11 Aug 2025
Dream
I remember a couple of dreams the first one I was sitting in a house with something familiar new house. It was kind of stylish and elegant like a wealthy home. There’s big fancy rooms kind of like a nautical theme. It was night time and I was going to sleep and I had to pull all these blinds because I didn’t want people to see directly in as I was going to go to sleep. When I pulled some of the curtains down, I had to tuck some of them Into a phone dock because otherwise it wasn’t going to stay up or stay down. I avoided listening to the phone because potentially someone was talking to me on there. I don’t remember a lot about this dream other than I was hanging up that phone that I was talking into and I was just trying to take care of myself in unfamiliar fancy dark space and it was night time.
In the next dream, I was witnessing a mass murder at a school. I think there were three deaths. I was part of the responding forces to keep the crime scene contained and document the murders happening and to prevent the murderers from being able to leave the scene. There were several moments of physical torture of the murderers and the victims of course have been tortured too. I think three girls had died young girls high school age. Two of the murderers I remember better they were boys and they had been sexually attracted to these girls, and they were quite disturbed and Believed something about their sexuality was corrupting them, and they believed these girls were symbolic of something evil, and they hated them at the same time they were attracted to them. One of the boys who was a murderer he had red hair, freckles he was a little bit heavyset, white boy, and he had all these needles and nails near his eyes and they were just sort of hovering there in space. I was somehow trying to shove into his eyes without touching him. He smiled as if he liked the torture. I was trying to hurt him somehow. I was again like a force of law in the dream, and I was locking doors to contain then in this big room that kind of looked like a classroom. It was a very strange room and there was a male teacher who was talking through everything that happened with the murderers and was documenting it. He had this chart in part of the room where he was hanging up the names of people who were injured or killed by these boys. He was going through each thing and I was part of this investigating and recording it before police and proper authorities got there and I was finding that many teachers and parents wanted to come into this room and witness what was happening. I was trying to let them in carefully and re-lock the door once they came in. Eventually, there were so many people coming in, but it was getting really crowded and some people some of these adults did not know or understand the gravity of the situation and they were smiling or just had an inappropriate affect for what was going on because they didn’t know maybe that there were murdered children at hand and it was a really scary situation, a dark one, and they didn’t seem to know that, some of them. At some point there were so many people that I was all the way outside trying to protect these ropes and lines that were separating people who were in the scene and those that weren’t and there was a group of women that came in who were around my age, they were trying to get in like the demarcation, but they weren’t really paying attention to it and they were eating and laughing and just being really flippant and I got upset with them. They were all brown women. One of them was dark skinned, black woman another one was a lighter skinned black woman. The dark skin black woman, she was quite tall and had an Afro and she was standing on my right and when tried to get them to stop laughing and acting inappropriately, like being joyous, when they didn’t know what’s going on. The black woman to my right kind of scolded me like she looked down at me and she was just like “what’s your problem?” essentially. So I felt judged, but she and her friends just didn’t know what was going on. Then there were several families and just groups of friends that were kind of splitting across the line, some were going inside the scene technically, some weren’t, and it was super crowded by now outside. I was now really far from the scene that was deeper inside.
Back to the two of the murderers being interviewed in that room, the male authority figure of the teacher who was talking these boys through what they have done. One of the boys, brown hair not the redhead, was wearing a hospital gown and sitting. They boys were not that deceptive but did not feel that guilty, they weren’t really feeling consequences of any kind. The teacher was like spelling out all the details of their crimes so they can receive the right punishment and I was part of this early on and just the locking and unlocking doors to lead in certain parties so that they could witness was going on, that was kind of my role in that room. There was a lot of talk of a special room boys “grow up with” in their homes called “Periphia” or something like that. It had another purpose originally but most boys used it as a masturbation nook, and they masturbated to things and in ways that were dark and twisted. It was like this secret room where they explored their desires was inherently dark, disturbing, the objects of their attraction were always dehumanized and perverted and distorted.
Overall, it was a dark dream. It wasn’t a nightmare, but there was a deep sense of wrongdoing, judgments, torture, law and order and justice being carried out and fears and darkness and evil around desire, and desire motivating people to do scary things especially young boys against young girls. I’m interested to understand my role as locking and unlocking doors and then eventually trying to move a physical line in between a crowd so that only someone would be inside the scene and some wouldn’t and how quickly messy that got, and then with the judgment of the other women of color and why they looked so judgmental with me and unimpressed in a way, thinking that I was being like “no fun.” I desire to be gentle and cleanse myself after such a dream.
