19 Aug 2025
Dream
I remember my fate being tied to this white man with black hair who was very troubled. We were going through life. I pulled the magician card from the tarot, and he was going about his life with that card missing from his deck only to find that when he had checked into a hotel, that card was reversed and stuck under the desk.
I remember parts of the dream where I was in front of an altar, and I was lying prone with my feet facing the altar, and my toes pointed, and I remember arching my back and closing my eyes. Around me were many classmates from the MFA program and I sensed that there are a lot of people in this big meditation room with this large golden altar. Behind and beside me were meditation cushions, but I was lying on my back flat against the polished wood floor. I knew what the room looked like even though my eyes were closed.
I remember walking through a deep forest and I had this book about the layers of vegetation and I was thumbing through the pages. The pages were made of the vegetation itself, so I was looking through these layers of leaves and shrubs and bushes, and I remember looking into the trees and trying to understand what looks like many trees was actually just one big tree like an aspen. Some things that I thought were trees were shrubs. The forest was dark but I felt exploratory and positive, I was curious about everything. As I was exploring this multi layer terrain, and looking through my book, I was with Cody. He was walking with me and exploring. He asked more questions and did not have a book of his own.
There was another point in the dream where I was sitting a big room that looked a little bit like the meditation and altar room from before. There are many classmates from the MFA around and then lots of other people who are indistinct, I don’t remember them. Somebody asked what were the four main kinds of Buddhism and Cody wanted to answer. He got one of them sort of right, Vajrayana Buddhism, but then he couldn’t remember Mahayana or what the remaining 2 would be. He was kind of frustrated and astounded with himself, he was laughing at himself for not being able to remember the other kinds of Buddhism. There was no judgment from the room or from me for him. He seemed to just want to get it right for his own reasons. At one point I was called by many people in the dream and women, especially older women, to be fully formed and matured in love, and as a loving being. I had a talent for love, and I was so full of love and creation I held this special stature in my community, and my position at the altar was also part of that. I had a magnetism and calm that drew people in, even seduced them.
And another point I was with the man who had black hair from earlier, the troubled man. There was a time when I was walking by him and his friends in this kind of dilapidated busy indoor setting. It just looked kind of grimy and busy and things were sort of falling apart, and I was moving through a crowd. I was walking by him, and I was posturing and waiting for him to notice my beauty and he had many opportunities to look at me, but he wouldn’t. He was also eating and consciously looking away from me even when I was right in front of him and he could’ve seen me. He would look up from his food and just look somewhere else. Realizing that he wasn’t going to see me, I moved on and was still content with myself and smiling as I went forward. And there was another part of the dream where there were supposed lessons about love and the moon and the healing power of the moon. I was a young white blonde woman with blue eyes, and I was also watching this woman. She was at a beach. She was lying on her knees facing the water she had on a white tank top and nothing else, and so her buttocks were exposed. The young man with black hair reappeared, and was afraid of the young woman, but also was seduced by her. The young woman was asking questions about herself in his eyes. The form of an animal appeared nearby, first as a glowing white unicorn with rainbow hair and a rainbow horn. It was very beautiful and the young woman said of course we’re seeing this beautiful unicorn. As the unicorn approached, it turned into a big elephant, normal looking elephant, big and gray. The young man got very scared. The young woman was thinking there’s something we can do to not be eaten or trampled by this elephant. The elephant was not attacking us, it was stretching and lurking by the trees further from the shore—it hadn’t noticed us and did not look violent. Still, I was aware elephants can trample and kill people. Before the unicorn transformed into an elephant, it was briefly the starry red outline of both a bear and the red outline of another predatory animal, but it became this big elephant. After staying close to the trees further from the shore, the elephant started coming towards the woman, and the woman was never scared of this elephant neither was I (as I also sort of was the woman). And she began to suck the elephants trunk in the manner of a blowjob, and this eased the elephants and essentially did away with any threat that the elephant posed. I was slightly uncomfortable watching this in the dream because it was strange but felt kind of compelled by it because it was disgusting and effective and beautiful all at once. This whole situation had a lot to do with Simon and my recent experiences with lust and love, and his immaturity and my own courage and learning.
One of the most interesting parts of the dream was lying down at the altar and my eyes closed and stretching in front of it, and pointing my toes to the altar and arching my back and being in this room that I knew was full of people who could see me in this special position and feeling comfortable and at home and valued and seen and closing my eyes.
