1 May 2025
Dream
I was at a sunny outdoor concert with my parents. We were atop a hill and watching a small crowd roam around and set up equipment. I was suddenly closer to the stage and saw a guitarist in a blue onsie and huge black motorcycle helmet get crushed by falling equipment. I saw this event multiple times from multiple angles, and even though there were loud bangs, I wasn’t scared. There were two crashes each time I watched. The first time appeared to be in a darker room or indoor concert hall. I was close to the stage watching the performers set up. The guitarist managed to avoid the first crash, hearing creaking noises and moving out of the way in time. I remember thinking they must feel embarrassed even though they successfully avoided getting hit. But the second crash was heavier (it looked like black speakers falling) and completely flattened them. It was startling and technically violent but again I felt no fear. Then I saw these crashes again atop a hill with my parents nearby, it was sunny out, and some of the elements of accident were changed. It’s like I was seeing the accident more clearly. This time the person was crushed by a huge tree branch instead of huge black speakers. For the performance, someone was climbing atop that tree branch, a middle aged man with curly hair wearing a small maroon silk outfit, and as soon as I saw him going further on the branch, I said to my parents that he would fall and that’s what caused the accidents. My attention went to a young female EMT or first responder who was stage left and in the audience helping someone. She was on the opposite end of the crash site, but was helping someone else get away from the scene or calm down. I was really focused on her. She was about my age, maybe a bit younger, a white woman with brown hair in a bun and baseball cap. She wore reflective working gear, like that of a firefighter or EMT, and her pants revealed part of her buttocks. She did not adjust her pants as she walked around, even though her lower back and a bit of her crack were in plain view. My mom pointed it out judgmentally, but I defended her or kept admiring the sun shining on her lower back. I liked watching her. Then I recall being at a desk suddenly with papers in front of me, writing. When I looked up, there was a small sunny window, it was bright and beautiful out with green grass and trees. The view was a bit fuzzy but I kept looking at it anyway and felt secure in what I consciously felt was “A poet’s life.” I dreamed of my actual current notebook and writing a poem in a specific format. I wrote about seeing the first responder from before and how I wanted her. I thought the poem was strongly written and close to my actual experience. I was still at this desk but my boss Tim showed up and asked me questions about the poem. “When did you fall for her?” He asked, as in where was the height of my desire for her in the poem? I considered this and read over lines, looking for that emotional peak. I didn’t quite answer that question, but he was sitting in a chair facing me at a distance, and I felt that he was trying to help me improve and clarify my work. It was a little uncomfortable and definitely challenging but he was helping me. Most significant in the dream were feelings of gentle desire and love towards the EMT, sympathy and calm seeing the repeated crashes of the guitarist, and satisfaction with a small, focused life at a desk and a little window facing a beautiful, if blurry, outside world. I woke up thinking of two people kissing and because a bird was tweeting.
