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12 Jan 2025

dream-about-being-myself-in-a-bathtub
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Broken Glass
Friend
House
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Today, I had a dream about being at like a bathtub with my cousins, Hannah and Max, and on a video call with people from my elementary school, such as Rebecca and Alana. I remember I was talking about crazy things, and I think I made a realization about something along the lines of why it was totally okay to be yourself. And I was myself on that video call. In the bathtub, I remember that we broke a glass bottle. Not sure what it meant. It might have had sand inside, and it all came out. I think it was very fragile. I think I then watched a video about someone texting my ex-crush Bryan, and he actually texted all the things he texted Bryan to Bryan, and all my contacts on my phone. Bryan saw the messages, and my phone showed he was responding. And I remember being excited, saying, oh my gosh, he responded! I think he was really rude in his responses, and he hearted one of my messages, even though most of my texts didn't make any sense. He hearted a message of a guy humming or singing along to a song, and I think he asked who it was, and I never replied. Then the dream transitioned to my ex-stepdad's house. I'm pretty sure somebody told me to egg one of their male family members, or their dad, and I did, kind of. I threw eggs at my own ex-stepdad instead of their person because their person transformed into my ex-stepdad. The end

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12 Jan 2025

dream-about-ex-husband-drug-dealing
Betrayal
Drugs
Angry at mom
Broken Glass
Apartment
Child

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I dreamt that I was still married to my ex husband. That we were living in an apartment complex that had really low-class neighbours: rough, angry parents with loud, wild children leaving broken toys and possessions everywhere. They were always fighting and making a mess, loud and disruptive. I saw one of the dads give my husband some money, and I smiled at them, saying to the other man, "Oh, has he been fixing your kid's toys for you?" The other man looked up at me, irritated, and muttered, "Yeah, fixing toys..." as he shook his head at my stupidity and stalked off. And I realised that my husband had gone back to dealing drugs, that I'd just witnessed a deal going down. (In this dream he had obviously done it before and quit, making promises to me about it.) I felt huge betrayal deep in my heart, so bad that it woke me up and wont go away. And I could see that I didnt care about the drug dealing at all, what hurt was him aligning with these other people against me - making me the one they all were lying too. If he'd told me he wanted to go back to dealing, I wouldn't have had an opinion one way or the other. He is an adut capable of understanding consequences for breaking the law. And if he'd included me in his plans, I would have felt honoured that he was at least letting me know. But I had thought we were a united team in our discomfort in that place, both looking forward to moving out and in the meantime keeping space between us and the feral neighbours. He dishonoured me, made me an object of mockery and deception, which made me a target and an outsider. That pain of dishonour woke me up.

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