12 Jun 2025
Dream
I had a nightmare where I was in vacation with family, in real life we've this vacation in family coming up so that might be why I dream about it, the thing is we went into a rent house like quite big and everyone or every small family in the big family had their room and they shared, I was with my parents, I don't remember much or idk how to explain what happened in the inter but some family members arrived late and well I remember very well one scene where I was with my father's aunt and my mother on the ceiling like having a chat, she was very cautious like she knew something, she started asking who we were and what we were doing there, my mother told her she was the wife of my father and I was their child, she stayed silence staring at me with pity. Don't remember much after but the adults specially the old ones knew something they were like mourning something? so then I was like just trying to enjoy it there, there were some neighbors but they disappeared the second night and I wasn't allowed to go to their backyard again, the 4th day there I was with my uncle the one I like the most, he talked to me about life, mostly what I wanted from my life, I told him I wanted to be loved, but real love not the one that is just empty words and a harsh reality, he listened to me, he told me that this type of love isn't real, we continued talking but I don't remember clear everything we talked about, at some point I said that I wanted to leave the family for once since I don't belong in it, and he told me that he doesn't feel like he belongs either, but everyone with this blood is cursed for life, for all the sins we've caused, I was confused cause his eyes were empty I kind of woke up in my dream like when you've this moment of realization that you're dreaming but you cannot just woke up. There was this rooms upstairs like my whole family from my father's side was in this house it was going to be night soon and they prepared a kind of dinner outside in the backyard, my mom kept holding me hurting me, I was scared cause I was mid awake I mean I knew I was dreaming but that doesn't make it better, we ate but there was a discussion about everything they've done and how everyone is guilty if they have our stained blood. There was blur in my memory after that we returned to the house and the night was coming they locked all the doors and closed windows and put on curtains, they sit us all in the living room in different chairs, here also I don't remember much but my uncle came and told me to never give into the temptation, that everything that was at the other side of the walls/window is not real, is not something I deserve or can reach for, we sit and they just argued of things I couldn't understand, hours passed and some type of mold started growing in walls and in the furniture in everything tbh, they started moving themselves and everything so the mold won't touch them, I imagined something might happen if so. I started hearing voices they started telling me everything wrong I did ever, even things I think I had forgotten, I started crying my uncle came to me and slapped me told me that I was being emotionally weak that I was making it easier for them to come for me, in my bag like the one we had of our clothes and everything for vacation was on the second floor, I told my mom I needed my Reo plushie, the big one to hug it, she went for it and I stayed hearing everything I did ever to hurt someone things I regret now and they were haunting me, I was crying the voices felt closer when I did, my mother returned and gave me the plushie I started crying on it, and I took a sit again in my chair, but the chairs kept being less and less some family members like disappeared, and the chairs kept making a kind of circle but it kept getting smaller, the mold kept coming so we were moving out chairs I got closer to a window by mistake and I saw like the shape of a person outside through the curtains, I partially opened it and I saw a guy I didn't know, my family was shouting for me to not listen to it, that nothing of this was real, then this guy transformed partially into Reo? like this face partially changed into Reo's, and then it changed into the face of Angi one friend of mine which we've a weird relationship but from all the family problems I've she promised to help me out and we actually have plans together to scape our families, the thing is she stretched her hand saying that she was waiting for me and asked me why I wasn't leaving if the door was opened, that I believed everything my family was saying to me but they are ending each other's life's in this house, and everything I wanted was outside, I told her that I was dreaming that I knew she wasn't real, at this I was holding the curtsin to see her and she broke the glass and told me that she knew this was a dream and that they all knew I knew, I just deserve a punishment and she told me that I would never be free it's just a dream, she told me "you'll never leave this guilt trip house" I think the house kind of represent my guilt family and non family by hearing everything I did to hurt people on purpose, she just stared hurting me like chocking me and pealing off my skin, I let her do it because I felt like I deserved it, then the pain was too much and I woke up crying
