26 Aug 2024
Dream
I was in my room reading my new book about Buddhism, and I had a good chunk of the book read through, and I got to a part that said “you can forgive to let go/move on”. So I had a house party and not even 5 minutes later mawmaw was sitting on the bed with me while I had the book in my hands, and we had a conversation about my dad and how hurt I was by him. I was explaining how I think I’m ready to let go and forgive for what he did, but it still hurts. But I know I need to forgive him to move on. A few seconds later my dad appears at my doorway, and he’s trying so hard to forgive himself. I said “look, look at me. I forgive yo-“ he cuts me off and starts saying stuff like he’s so sorry, he’ll do better, thank you for forgiving me, let’s hang out, etc etc. i said “no.. let me finish. I forgive you BUT I cant see you anymore. I forgive you so that we can both move on from what happened, but I will never forget what you’ve done to me, to us.”. He starts sobbing and bending over holding his head, going into one of his little “oh shit no one believes my story” panic modes, and I just walk away from the both of them. I go to my computer to do some sort of schoolwork, and there was a real colored river in the animated picture of a national park. I remember going to work and looking at the schedule, and my schedule was completely crossed out so I can smoothly transition into my new job irl. I hugged my boss and said thank you so much.
