26 Nov 2023
Dream
I just awoke from quite the upsetting dream. In it, my long-term partner and I were fighting, pretty badly. It feels like it was brought on by me, more than him. I even went as far to break up with him. In the dream it felt like I was being melodramatic about the whole situation. From what I recall, him and I needed to walk to the pharmacy to pick up my prescription. I ended up getting upset when I found out that he went without me. My best friend since first grade was in the dream too, Ali. She was sitting in her car, in the drivers seat and me in the passenger seat, and she had her car all packed up to go on a trip. The trip she was going on was to enhance one’s intuition. (I fell asleep listening to a guided meditation about activating one’s intuition.) In her car, I expressed to my friend how envious of her I was, and that I wished I could join her on her journey. She did not say yes or no, but rather looked like she felt bad for me perhaps. I told her I would not hold her up any longer, so that she may start her journey to wherever this intuition retreat was located. She then pointed to her clock in her car, which I think read about 1 o’clock and told me she did not have to leave until 5:13. Or maybe it read 5:13, and she said that’s how much longer she had until she departs. At that point I said I would join her. Almost as suddenly as I said I would join, I told her I could not, as I instantly jumped out of the car to see my boyfriend, Nick standing there with my prescription. He had already opened it and took some for himself. I became very upset and ran into the house crying. I went up a staircase and into my bedroom. I remember opening my cellphone and looking up the retreat that Ali was attending, and in it I saw that she was not only attending, but also a teacher. I was envious. At another point in my dream, I was in a car with others, when we drove past a tag sale of all my belongings. I recognized The street the tag sale was on happened to be my childhood home’s street address. My mother was there selling the items. I felt a rush of anger envelop me, and I jumped out of the car. I grabbed one item that belonged to my son as a baby, and returned to my home with it. At home, my father was there, and he was very intoxicated. (In my waking life my relationship with both my parents is estranged.) I remember my father coming home late, drunk, and then blaming him for leaving the door open, when it had actually been me. I was very nervous about my children having to interact with my father, as they no longer have a relationship with him. I think in my dream I was hoping for my boyfriend to come back to me and beg me to take him back and to also admit that he had hurt me. That did not happen though. I was too stubborn to express my needs.
