29 Jun 2024
Dream
I was in my childhood home and my mom was asleep in bed, but she was rousing so I sat beside the bed and began talking to her. She was waking up but not speaking much directly to me, then my dad walked in. He sat down near me and began talking to my mom. I don't remember the exact conversation, but my mom remained turned away from us while my dad was speaking. They began having a conversation that highlighted all their most negative qualities. Ultimately the reasons they got divorced, but this dream was before that. My mom was cold and unloving like normal and my dad was emotionally stunted and unwilling to fight or care about anything. He is very loving as a person, it's almost as if nothing matters enough for him to stand up for what he wants so he never fought to save his relationship with my mom. Eventually, he stands up and leaves the room. I begin to cry quietly to myself as not to disturb my mom who is trying to go back to sleep. The conversation they had was a perfect representation as to why they are now divorced. The dream then skips to the future and I am driving through my home town. I am married to the girl of my dreams and life is what I've always wanted it to be, but the conversation my parents had comes back into my mind and I begin getting angry, but the sad kind of anger. I begin to lose hope that my relationship with my wife in the dream will work out and that she'll eventually feel like my mom and I'll eventually feel like my dad and there's no point to trying to love someone. This crushes my soul completely and I think the only thing a person can really have is themselves, but not around other people and that I should be alone the rest of my life because everything is pointless without love. So I break up with my wife and move away to the most secluded place I could find on the outskirts of a small town in Alaska. I'm secluded and not happy with life. But I feel like I did myself a favor by started my suffering earlier by moving out there and breaking my own heart before it could be broken by someone else later. As I am in my home I am attacked by a bear. I am almost always killed by bears in my dreams. It was a black bear. It catches me outside and I can't get back inside or call for help because I am isolated. The bear leaves but I still can't make it to any kind of help because I am alone. I just lie there waiting to die and regretting my decision to be alone and I miss my wife. Then the best comes back and finally kills me and I wake up.
