2 May 2024
Dream
I am hanging, suspended and still, in a vast depth of water. Ice mingles with my flesh as I drift within the Abyss, phantom beings carving my flesh. I am drowning within it all. In moments of clarity I believe I see things around me that terrify me, monsters made of shadow and teeth. In time, I strike out, fighting and clawing at them, trying to reach for the light I know must be above me. My hand strikes something solid, and, for a second, I think it might feel like I do. I think it must be of flesh and warmth. No, I scream, even though I cannot hear my own voice. I shriek that it is a monster, for nothing familiar lies here but darkness and I. Voices grate on my ears, and I feel certain I am persecuted. This is a version of hell, I am sure. Of cold terror and silent thoughts. I feel my bones brittle and wear, my muscles strain and tear. I feel my eyesight grow stronger and better, then, even as my body withers. With time, I realize that the blackness I have found to cover my vision is not the cloak of night, but my own closed eyelids. I open them, nearly crusted over with disuse and thickened with opinion. What I see is light. Not above me, but behind me. When I look around I see monsters, creatures with gnarled skin and grotesque claws, biting tongues and teeth to shred hearts. I am disgusted, terrified at these things that surround me. It is when I try to turn myself around to go back to the light, that I understand. With strong eyes, I see that my hands, once pink with newness and youth, are withered like a beast's. They are clad with long, shredding claws like a Reaper's sickle. I run scaled fingertips across my face, but I find only teeth and bone. I hear, then, that it is them screaming around me, accusing each other of being monsters as I did moments before. For I am them, striving for light with eyes closed, determined in my suffering, dragging others with me into darkness.
