20 Feb 2024
Dream
Last night I had a very strange dream about my mom and our relationship. I don't really remember what was going on, but rather I remember what I was feeling at the moment. And I also don't remember what happened before that, but I just recall my mom being extremely distant, like it wasn't even her. It was like she had a personality of a teenager, or someone who doesn't really care about life, but in the first place, of someone who doesn't care about me. It was a horrible feeling having to be like constantly almost nagging her to pay attention to me and to not act like a dumbass and it was so complicated and it honestly made me extremely upset. It was like she completely gave up on me and didn't like me anymore, and I remember begging her and crying to change her attitude, but she was refusing, so I got extremely mad while I was still bawling my eyes, and so I decided to leave the house and I wanted to just get lost and go somewhere where people won't find me. I really do not recall what has happened and what it was supposed to be about, but I remember feeling extremely helpless and powerless, and it was such an exhausting feeling, and later when I woke up I felt extremely sick and almost numb.
