24 Feb 2025
Dream
I find myself in a three level home and I remember being in my bedroom with my mom. The home is not an actual residence that I've actually lived at, but I get the sense that it is a house that we recently moved into. There's tension in the home between my mom and dad. Mom shares with me that dad is going through something personally with his best friend and that they are not on good terms and that he has been taking it out on me and projecting his frustrations on me. I know that his best friend named Paul is someone who he became close with in the military while he was in the army and there was a period of time when Paul and my mother actually dated for a short amount of time while my mom and my dad were on a break from one another. It was easier for my dad to forgive his best friend than to forgive my mom when it came to them dating. I think my dad is handling some kind of IT issue because he's asking for cords and a fan for something. Isaiah gets or pulls a fan, a very small fan, from a computer desk and some wires and takes it to dad. There are contractors at the house working on something. At one point, I find myself lowering the curtains in my bedroom because I'm getting ready for bed. I'm in a t-shirt and in my underwear, and while I'm doing so, I see the contractors outside talking to Dad. And I see that they see me while I'm closing the blinds. I walk around the house, it's a very spacious house. One thing that sticks out to me is that me and my brother's rooms are side by side. I like my room better because I have a view of the pool and it's a very calming place to be in. I get the sense that I'm in high school and about to leave for college and that I won't get to stay or live in the bedroom very long and imagine that Isaiah will take the bedroom once I go out for college. There are random scenes where I am walking on the property and I have to like walk over these nets or pins of animals and I just remember there being dead birds and I'm very careful to not step on the birds that are actually living in order to get where I need to go. I found myself back in my bedroom and I hear the neighborhood kids in our pool and I don't think that they asked permission to use the pool. They just showed up and got in and I was kind of frustrated because I'm trying to go to sleep and yet y'all are at our house using our pool. At first it's like three white kids probably in middle school and then a couple moments later I go back out and I see that there's more than ten plus people loitering around our pool and I tell them that I'm trying to sleep and kind of storm out into my parents room. As I'm running around in the corner to my parents' room, I hear one of the kids running behind me and ask if I'm going to tell my dad that they're at the pool. And I say, yes, because you guys are there and I'm trying to sleep. When I get into the bedroom there are already kids in there talking to my dad. He is noticeably irritable and I can sense tension around him. I tell him that there are kids in the pool and I'm trying to sleep. I'm guessing the other kids who were there when I arrived were telling their version of the story and in an accusatory way, he asked me is there anything that you didn't communicate with me as if I'm in the wrong. In that moment, I know that he is taking his frustration out on me and lashing out against me Because of my earlier conversation with my mom regarding Paul. Mom asks him if he can, you know, tell the kids to leave, and he responds by saying I'm just trying to make sure that my family is safe, which makes me think that we are a multi-racial family in a very white neighborhood, and he fears that if he asks the kids to leave, then the white parents will retaliate against us. I don't appreciate that he is not taking my side, but subconsciously, I know why he's doing what he's doing.
