Dream About Brain Tumor Futility

I had a dream last night that I had a brain tumor. This is something that I actually will randomly be scared about in real life. Well, in the dream I go to the doctor and they lift out the tumor. However, afterwards, I ask about my life expectancy. She says that for about 3 years it’ll deteriorate but I can keep taking shots to help but agree that likely by 5 years I will have to be put into a coma. I think the implication is that it will return. I am panicked and google it. The internet agrees that after 25 someone who is 26 may only make it to 29. (I am 30 irl). I am left with a sense of futility afterwards. My mom is with me and tries to console me but on the way home in the car all I can think about is what really is the point to go try and find someone to love and marry, when I would pass. Just a sense of futility. At the same time, I am imbued with a sense of desperation to finish a few books that I always wanted to write. Often I can’t get things done without a panic and I am panicked and want to get started right away. I laugh to myself that I always wanted something to kind of light a fire under me and somehow ended up with this