Against

4 Sep 2024

Dream

I went to adult education with my work done and these teachers accused me of cheating when I never did. I reminded them they allow white people to listen but not me and I told them I cannot focus without music. They didn't like it. I shrugged and went to see the vice principal (we don't have one in real life) he's also the coach of the football team. He told me to sit down and I told him and he sighed and told me to go home and I did as I got in bed I did my test and I completely aced it and I went to school and showed my test and told them I did it with my music and the few ones I got wrong I paused the music. Then the dream faded.

15 Jul 2024

Dream

I feel like my dream was about saving someone or something. I did notice some of the people who were on my team. I guess there were people who we were against and keeping the information hidden from us finding it.

13 Apr 2024

Dream

My mom died and my dad turned against me

9 Apr 2024

Dream

Last night I dreamt that I was at this dance community and the teacher had me do some moves following after her, and she was so impressed and when she asked of my dance experience I said I had none. Everyone was so surprised the people around me were a lot younger so I felt behind, like i still see myself as a child or that I’m not where “adults” should be. But then I was in even though they never asked officially I was partnered up this this boy who didn’t want to be me partner at all. I felt super overwhelmed and inexperienced to be there, he didn’t like the fact that I was a nobody and that I was new, so I spoke up and said if you don’t like me or don’t want me to be here plz just communicate and talk to me, and he got over it, but there was Always tension. Then we sat against this wall the whole dance crew. I’m a bench. And watched others dancing it was really beautiful and this one girl was doing a backbend on roll skates! I was in awe there was this little girl who came up and said I hate black, for then my dance teacher said ofc not in that way, the theme was about sadness and anger, and they were doing a vocal expression of it as well as dance, the place felt like I’ve been there before, sort of like my job but more expanded we all lived there and dormed there, the hold time I felt unsure if this was what I wanted, incorporating or committing myself to something new, my days and time would be spent different, and I had lots of anxiety about how I would perform, and it felt hard to settle in, I wonder how else’s in my life the idea of doing something why I always go to “idk if this is for me” maybe always feeling unsafe? Or having to be on edge. But I wonder if flowing through it and sinking deeper into the possibilities of life could take me to a place I like. Cause the same is bringing me just that, and I seek for growth and change. So I want to be open to incorporating newness and committing to things that question if it’s for me,

8 Apr 2024

Dream

I was with some friends and we were walking thought this place that was sort of a mix between a house and an apartment building. We were checking out different rooms and some were too messy and we said how we wouldn’t stay there and some rooms we said were too small. We also found some clothes and decided to take them and wear them. Then some of us ended up walking to this common room type area. There were a good amount of people and a bunch of them I had seen earlier in my dream but didn’t know, some I knew and some were strangers. There was this dude that set up parties or something and he was talking to people. At some point some people took some edibles and I asked if I wanted one and I said no because I quit weed since it made me anxious. I still hung out with them and we walked to the woods or something and just explored. It started to become a nightly thing where we all gathered and people would drink and do drugs. We all sort of lived in that big area where I first met everyone and there were all the clothes and food we needed. At first all I would do was drink alcohol but I started to join in when they did acid and other pills. It was fun but I also didn’t know if I was making the right decision doing them. Everyone else was all the time though so I thought it would be fine. I would get up the next day and barely remember anything from the night before. Some days I had absolutely no recollection of the previous day. I was having fun but I also didn’t like how I was always out of it and never remembered anything. We had a poll on where to have some big party and we decided on a big party in the woods. We were all drinking and stuff but then for some reason the party became a competition and we were fighting some people but I don’t remember why. We didn’t fight everyone just certain people. I remember me and one of my friends were talking to the main guy and there were two dudes we were competing agains and both of our groups wanted to win. I decided I wanted to get it over with so I put one of them in a choke hold and we started fighting. I would be winning for a minute then he would be winning for a tiny bit but I ended up doing better as I could grab him from behind and stop him from moving. The right ended when I knocked him over and slammed something on his head and broke his nose. The other people were impressed and I was like, I think I broke my finger, oh well. Then everything went back to how it had been and it turned into nightly parties after that again and everyday felt like a blur. I couldn’t remember what happened when and where we were each night. We would go to cool places and party in mansions or at concerts. After a while the parties sort of stopped and we were apparently supposed to decide what we would be doing from now on. Like what we would be doing with our life. Everyone was splitting up and I was sad. Some people could go with one person from the group but some people had to go alone. There were a bunch of different tables with people at them sort of like a career fair but we had to end up choosing one. Some choices would be something like fly to different places often, never have a specific home because you’re always traveling. One was like working on boats by the woods we had a party at and stay in the area. One was joining the main dude in charge and help him prepare parties. One was an astronaut and go into space and leave earth behind. They were all really weird and there ended up being a point system or voting to decide what you get. I didn’t have as many points as some people so I didn’t get to pick first and I was stressed because I didn’t want to do any of the options but I had no choice.

4 Apr 2024

Dream

I was in a battle against a boss (I thought King Kong) and I had a team of people with me. I had a metal glove that I could use to gather elements to create fire balls, ice balls, rock balls, etc. My teammates and I were going at it trying to defeat the boss. I was going in for the final blow before I woke up. Prior to that, me teammates were throwing balls to try to knock the targets down. Before we moved into the next room, I checked to make sure I had the things I needed in my bag I had with me throughout the competition. Before fighting the final boss, I got called out by the boss for not throwing a ball at a target to knock down as my teammates kept me from doing that.

3 Apr 2024

Dream

My family and some family friends had rented a vacation house and we were all having a fun talent show. I was in charge of playing the music from my phone for everyone’s talent acts, and my friend was doing a really cool performance, but my younger brother kept interrupting and trying to steal the spotlight. I noticed that we were all younger than we currently are, my brother being a child and myself a teenager. I told my brother he was being rude and to let my friend finish his act, but my friend decided he was done and to let the next person go. I was trying to look up music for the next act, but suddenly my music app stopped working and was only displaying a government alert message. I tried to switch to a different app to see if that would work, but to my horror, all it was playing was video after video of parents giving their children merciful deaths. I began to freak out internally, but was able to calmly ask if anyone else’s phone was experiencing the same issues. Everyone took out their phones and what was happening on mine was true for every other phone in the house. At this point people were beginning to panic, and I suggested we look outside to see if the people out there were also panicking. The people outside looked like the were oblivious at first, and then slowly, one by one, they all began to notice the disturbing messages, too. Everyone in the house began panicking again, and some of us kids went out to the barn to try and come up with ideas of what we should do. As we were in the barn brainstorming, loud trucks approached and people outside began screaming. Some women and girls all ran into the barn, many of them missing their shirts, and some of my friends began to hide. I ran out the back door of the barn and across the field as fast as I could. I came to a creek and had the idea to walk upstream in the water, so my scent would be washed away in the event that dogs were used to try and find me. Eventually I came to a house that had a couple of horses outside. I initially was going to steal a horse to get away faster, but ultimately decided against it because a horse would be easier to spot that I would if I were on foot. I tried to sneak into the house to steal some supplies, but realized the people living there were in the side of the government and were holding people prisoner to turn in to the authorities. I tried to hide from them under the porch with some others that had escaped. Suddenly, I heard a terrible growling noise, and the other people I was hiding with under the porch became terrified. I noticed a broken piece of plywood, and attempted to hide beneath it. Whatever animal was making the growling noise found us, but I couldn’t see it from my hiding place. I listened in fear as the others j had been hiding with were ripped apart. The creature attacking us eventually came and was standing on the plywood I was hiding beneath, trying to rip through it to get to me. That’s when I woke up.

2 Apr 2024

Dream

My mother had inherited a house in Amsterdam. I went to live there. I went to decorate my room and found a hatch in the ground with a staircase. There was a whole extra part of the house that wasn't shown on the floor plan. It was a ground floor unit with a large garden and conservatory. I then stood at the front door to enter the stairwell and a woman arrived. She said she was my new neighbor but I didn't believe her so I didn't want to let her in. I asked which floor she lived on and she said 2, that was not possible because I knew the person on the second floor. But the woman said she knew my mother. I let her in the stairwell anyway. Then two men came to visit me and they started kissing in my bedroom in front of the window. The neighbors across the street saw it and got angry. Later, a group of neighbors stood on the rafters opposite my house with torches and pitchforks to protest against me. Then suddenly I was at work with Donna and Matthijs. Then a new employee came to take over my shift, but he came with 2 friends. I wanted to tell Donna about my new house, but I couldn't because I had to leave because of that new colleague.

31 Mar 2024

Dream

I had a dream where I was at a friends party and my friends who I like the same one from my previous dream was there. We were all hanging around just chilling and I was standing up next to her. Out hands kept brushing against each other. Eventually we started holding hands. She told me she was only holding because she like how my hands felt but everyone heard that and they were all freaking out because of the situation.

31 Mar 2024

Dream

An unknown male and I were in a dark and dingy pub with wooden panelled walls. We went to a pool table were two older men were playing and arguing about a 15 ball pool game. One of the old men Pete from the butchers arms dart team was berating one of his other team mates because he made a foul shot. I looked at the pool cue and the tip was bent. Also the pool table was against a wall with curtains on it. I pulled off the curtains and moved the table away from the wall

29 Mar 2024

Dream

There I was. Impaled through my stomach and out by back by one of the needles that was sitting at the bottom of this abyss I was knocked into that now has my blood dripping on it covering it in my blood. My limbs are twitching as I'm stuck around the needle point as my body is unable to go further down towards the bottom. My eyes pour blood the same time my mouth is throwing it up. I saw from a different perspective this time. This time I'm looking up at myself. But as bad as it is it couldn't possibly get any worse. That was a lie. Sooner than later I see a train falling right above me. And at the right moment, I woke up. I rose up quickly dripping in sweat and tears looking like I just been baptized. I found myself clenching my pajama shirt in between my stomach and my chest where there was excruciating pain. But it was only a nightmare. So why am I having this pain? This feeling was familiar to me… could this be another one of my prophetic dreams? If it was than I need to figure out what it means. Quickly. I laid back down questioning myself. How did I end up in that situation? Well let me tell you. I'm standing in front of an abyss. In between this large rigid train track that goes across this petrifying hole that leads to another side. I tried to run to the other side of this abyss but I gave up to the thought that it wasn't going to end. I closed my eyes and I somehow ended up in the same spot to begin with. “this place seems scarcely familiar..” I whispered to myself afraid that I would attract unwanted attention. I examine the place trying to look for certain things that could possibly ring a bell so that I can remember where I am and how to escape. And this is what I see. I looked in front of me and there is a train track that has no support holding it up above or below. I looked down and I saw a corpse lying on the train track where its ‘used to be’ head was. When I looked over to where the rest of its rotted head has been scattered to, I get startled to the sight and jerked backwards falling having tripped on the boards of the track. My hands start to shake like they were having a seizure and my heart was already starting to beat up against my ribs trying to escape and leave me making my breathing pattern irregular. Soon I get up and back away quickly from it and turn around ready to run away from this place like a headless chicken. But alas I am stopped by a brick wall that was infinity high. I immediately run to get around it but the deeper I got thee more ominous that place got. I started to feel my tear ducks fill with salty water as I become frustrated and terrified I was with this place. I close my eyes to release the tears and found myself right back in the middle of the train tracks. I continued to keep looking around and I eventually see an old abandoned gas station with one street light flickering and shining over a figure that would sometimes appear under the light and a sign written in blood, ‘Only the true special ones make it home this way’. I tensed up at the sign as another dead corpse lying on the side of the sign. I felt offended by the sign saying ‘only the special ones’ due to my narcissistic side. It was like it was taunting me saying I wasn't. But I am special! “What makes me different from the people that survived?” the next thing I knew, I see a train coming right for me on the tracks right when I began to start hoping on the boards. Still on land I watch as the train speeds my way as I stood there as numb as a block of wood. But right as it seemed it was about to hit me, I stupidly cross my arms in front my face and lower myself into a stance ready to accept my fate. My eyes teared at the thought, ‘Maybe I'm not special…?’. I closed my eyes tight enough it felt like my eyes were being pushed in by the lids of them. I stood there and opened my eyes hesitantly expecting a harsh impact, I felt nothing but strong wind. I stayed in that position for another half a second before fully opening my eyes with confusion. I could see the train around me as I went through it. “ghost train..?” I asked quietly before falling to my knees as the winds stopped holding me up. After another second I stand up again from my knees regaining my confidence despite this ungodly place and ignoring the fact that something was waiting for me on the other side. I begin hoping on the boards risking my life with each hop. It wasn't until I get to the middle of the huge abyss where I missed a step and fell in between the boards. I immediate reflex was to hold on to something so I don't fall in. I grasped onto one of the boards that was thankfully not far away. I couldn't bring myself back up due to the many trains that were passing by and possibly knocking me off the track, so I had to reach to the next board like I was playing on monkey bars. Once I finally reached the end of the abyss, I climbed up onto the land and unlike the other side I felt grass in the ground so I knew I was making ok progress. Still being the darkest, gloomiest and most ominous place I've ever seen in my life, I am still cautious to this new sight. I stood up facing a forest with very tall thin grayish brown trees with dull grass. As I stood up as silent as a white rabbit hiding from its prey, I observed the forest regretting having gone over here. Until I heard a faint whisper and rustling leaves behind me. I ran. I ran as fast as I could. I tuned around to see if I've gotten far from whatever that was, but it turned out I didn't get far at all. I stopped trying to run and stood looking behind me. Nothing. I figured I could continue finding my way through this forest but as soon as I turned around I meet this thing with a safe for a head wrapped in thorns and an apron covered in dirt and blood along with its hammer covered in mud blood and other disgusting fluids you could ever think of. It already had its weapon held up high as I stood there and before I could process the moment, he swung his hammer and I fell in the abyss. I'm falling and paralyzed and afraid. This is where I've met my wits end. Even though I can not move or scream and cry bloody murder for help, I can still feel this pain that has impacted me. It felt like someone dropped a wreaking ball wrapped in sharp wires cutting open my skin while releasing its disease through my sore body. It felt like someone injected a poison in me that also had small crystals inside of the killing substance just to tear me apart on the inside as much as it is on the outside. As I'm falling the river of tears, blood, and a black tar like substance flow out of my eyes, nose and mouth. I see all the lost souls, dead bodies, blood, and organs spread out everywhere. My perspective changed in this dream changed so that I could see myself falling from a distance. I see that as I fall I managed to turn over facing the ground. The perspective changed again and now I see that my face has gone pale and I could feel my heart giving up and my eyes changing to a cloudy gray. And there I was. Impaled through my stomach and out by back by one of the sharpest infectious needles that was sitting at the bottom of this abyss I was knocked into. My limbs are twitching as I'm stuck around the needle point as my body is unable to go further down towards the bottom. My eyes pour blood the same time my mouth is throwing it up. I could still see from a different perspective this time. This time I'm looking up at myself and the train falling right over me behind me. The fastest second went by and the train finally fell on me. Scattering my insides out. Squirting all the fluids out my body. And splitting me in half due to the pressure put on my body while still on the needle like a kebab.

29 Mar 2024

Dream

I went to live with a foster family in England at the age of 10, happy and hopeful that my life would change for the better. They deceived me, and carried out a coup d'état luke the handmaids tale, and forced a puritanical society where it was acceptable for 15 year old girls to marry their fathers if their mothers died, only church and oppression were accepted. They banned clothes, books, technological devices, cartoons, comics, music, movies, cosplay, nana, EVERYTHING. 5 years passed and I still lived in the basement I thought would be my room. it was still decorated the way it was before the society was implemented, but they threw away all electronic devices they could find. but they didn’t know i hid my phone and books and charger. they didn’t know i still had everything. I discovered that I could use my things hidden. my mother was a bit unstable and I was accused of killing my foster sister's husband (which I did because he tried to hurt me, and then I kept his hair in a box in my room). I started watching YouTube videos and reading a book about nana and listening to music in secret. Once, I tried to escape, but they found me and beat me. Another, my foster mother had music playing loud and accidentally shot something. I found a gun too, and started shooting knowing she wouldn't hear it. I just wanted to feel something. when my foster father arrived, he smelled the gunpowder and found out. The mother gets sick. The father starts to show interest in marrying me. I go out with the foster mom and three of her friends, and they all talk about how amazing it is that he wants to marry me. I was 15 years old. "that's disgusting!" I scream, but they don't want to know. “It’s natural,” they say. The wedding day arrives. I almost vomit. In the end, instead of leaving with him, I hit his head against a wall and ran home. There, I see my foster mother in a state of shock and despair. I don't think she was so cool with the idea of him marrying me. She looks into my eyes and screams “electrify my heart!”. She was an executioner; At home, we had machines to take the lives of people who were sentenced to death. Without thinking twice, I connected her to the wire and pressed the electric chair button. she was immediately electrified. When she died, I cut her hair and put it in the box with the other one – but she had so much hair that the box didn't close. it was a big mix of blonde from her and black from my foster sister’s husband that took up more space than it should have. I pack my bags as quickly as possible and leave the house, heading to the house of an old friend who would help me escape before my foster father and now husband could find me.