15 Mar 2024
Dream
Around mid December 2023, I had a dream where me and my father went to my cousin Arunothini’s house to do a ceremony to celebrate the one year death anniversary of my aunt Thayanithi. In my waking life, my uncle Sriram didn’t come to attend it. However in my dream life he did. In the dream, Me, my father, my uncle Sriram, my other cousin Aruljothy (Arunothini’s brother), his wife Vathini, his three sons, Arunothini, her two daughters, her husband Rameshkanna, Aruljothy and Arunothini’s father Arulsubramaniam were all at the house together. Arunothini hired a priest whom she knows to perform the ceremony. As the the priest conducts the ceremony, he asks us to sing any thevarams we know. Most of us have sung a few that we know. However for me, I didn’t want to sing due to the humiliation I went through at a temple by another priest a few years back that has left me regretful and ashamed of ever wanting singing any songs associated with the Hindu deities and for any auspicious Hindu holidays my family and I would celebrate every year. When the priest asked me to sing along with the rest of my family members, I told him I didn’t want to. Arunothini then tells the priest what happened and why I am reluctant to sing. Prior to this in my waking life, Arunothini already knows about that incident since I opened up to her and everyone else about it through a story I had written for a story writing class her father Arulsubramaniam is teaching. In my dream life after Arunothini told that incident to the priest, he became very understanding about it and tried to encourage me to sing as he wanted me to sing for my aunt Thayanithi’s sake to make her happy. I still was reluctant and didn’t want to sing still. This made my uncle Sriram get mad and impatient and demands me to sing and not keep everyone waiting. I told my uncle that I didn’t want to sing which the escalated to the both of us having a heated argument. At the heat of the argument, I call my uncle Sriram “Chithappa” (The term to call your mom or dad’s younger brother in Tamil.) for the first time as I wasn’t that close with him before to call him that. Overall, the heated argument between me and my uncle Sriram left us angry and frustrated. It made me crying a little bit, but Arunothini and the priest were able to calm me down and comfort me. They still tried to encourage me to sing a Puranam to which I reluctantly gave in. They were glad that I was able to sing and the ceremony continued until it was over. Then everyone eat the food we have cooked. Eventhough, I begin to feel a little better, I still couldn’t get over with the argument I had with my uncle Sriram a moment ago and was still shaken about it. In my dream life, I feel like our relationship as uncle and niece will be strained and I doubt that it will not get any better. However, in my waking life, I am glad that the argument between us never happened. Despite me not being that close with my uncle Sriram, I still think he is a good person from the many times he has helped my parents before when they were getting ready to settle in to have me and my siblings.
