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6 Nov 2024
Dream
I was in school and my favorite teacher was teaching us. I was sitting next to my best friend in class and all of the sudden my teacher put on the song “love is an open door” and me and my best friend were singing together in a Duett (its kind of our song in waking life). And I was so nervous and uncomfortable the whole time because of my favorite teacher, (fyi in waking life another teacher made a false accusation about me and since then my fav teacher and I aren’t talking anymore which really bothers me because he was like a father to me and a few days ago I send him an email drunk that it really bothers me that he doesn’t talk to me anymore and that I tried to kill myself but he ignored the email. After the song was over he passed out cookies to everyone but I said I didn’t want one and he said “just take one they’re delicious” and I said that they look disgusting and all of the sudden the cookie turned into bread and then I woke up
i didnt sleep well. i thought of the portrait drawn of me on my wall and i took it down upon realizing i was drawn up as something to play with
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Went in to a second hand shop and was looking at the vinyl lps , incense was burning, the assistant came out from a back room which was also a living space and it was my estranged brother who was annoyed as it meant he had to speak to me
Last night I dreamt that I was on a shopping spree, buying all sorts of weird and wonderful fun things.
I was at home and my child had gotten a large sliver of wood in its finger. I thought I would just leave it and the body would push it out on its own but it got infected and started a red line up the arm. But it was a swirly red lines like . I was looking at finding a way to get the baby to the doctor but my fiancé’s car wouldn’t start. ( an old car we no longer own)so I asked the neighbor to take me( they no longer live here anymore)they dropped me off at the hospital but the actual emergency part of the hospital was in a different location that was further away. By the time I got the baby to that part of the hospital it’s finger had turned blackish brown and the finger split open to reveal the splinter of wood. And it was looking like dead flesh
I just woke up from a nightmare. I had a dream. I have been there very big house like my own childhood house with all my families relative we all around each other. It was a night time my sister and my cousins her sleeping in the first floor like Mollaee and there was a noise coming from upstairs Seems like there is a kind of argue between young people upstairs and my son was sleeping in the room and other kids also I tried to protect them from the noise. Don’t wake them up. I saw people are coming to downstairs soon. Come on stop making noise children are sleeping here While I was trying to see this young people come upstairs and downstairs in the store. Seems like they called police they’re waiting for police. I just tried to hold the door and don’t let them come in and make noise so I talking to them to stop and be quiet. All of a sudden 2 boys came inside and they start talking to us and they making arguments and they told them keep it calm. Children are sleeping while they were talking and it was lots of 10 around outside. The weather is very bad like storm is coming. I hold the door to don’t let the storm paint open the door Very strong wind was very strong and then it pushed us away and opened the hallway door which is open under from the balcony and push a subway. I just throw myself on the top of my son to keep him safe and this is strong coming and passing through from the other door and make lots of damage Other people coming from other rooms and then we gathering what just happen and it was so satisfied that a cute save my son then I walk around and I was looking after T-shirts and pants to change my clothes because it was super dirty. My other cousin came and help try to help me to find some of my clothes in that chaos And then all of a sudden I saw the house is coming down. It seems like there is something is going like like earthquake then stopped and then when I looked outside I saw two other houses other side of street they are partly gone into the Earth and they were disappeared. I told my mother wow look at her The other one of the in the basement of those houses. I kept my money and I told my mother wow look at the other side. The houses are gone but the part I was saving my money there is still there why we were talking. Have you been looking at the house and we try all around each other to get some sleep And then it comes another earthquake? We all woke up like we had roof and it was such a chaos everywhere I hold my son and like people was just some of the people was missing again and I look at the other side. I saw the other part of two houses which was still on the surface. They were gone as well and then look at my mother and I said oh my mother The part I saved my money is there also gone now and my mother said yeah but mine not and did you take pick up your money and she said yes yeah well my money are gone why we were talking is another earthquake and we so all of a sudden is coming hot melting Liquid coming from the mountain is coming to our house. It seems like there is no way to be survive this liquid coming to our houses Office that I jumped on the wall and this liquid is coming to Saeede though I still survive. I couldn’t see anyone else from my family. I try to find a way to see where can I go to keep myself safe While I was trying to find a safe place and I found the kind of on the top went on the top of mountain while all the people coming down. I went up climbing up and I was almost in and all of a sudden about my son where is my son? I couldn’t find him in this chaos And I feel kind of bad because I didn’t even look around for him. I just assume he has been gone and I lost him so I found a safe place between trees and climb up the trees to see around. I saw there is a helicopter is coming and cut the people Always on the trees on the top with a cutter and I understood that there is a plan seems like the government wants to killing everybody. Don’t want anybody to survive and I told myself why I am trying to keep myself survive and try to leave. What should I leave for when everybody has died and they lost everybody there is no point to leave And my son is gone and I always feel sad. I didn’t know why I’m trying to just leave and keep surviving I was thinking about that and I saw two kids playing by the side of the kind of River of this hot quiet coming from Mount they’re playing. I miss my son oh my God maybe if my sonic survive him rescue him he was here and play with them. I was so tired on silent and come to the ages and look at that that’s how we liquid things coming running out from the mountain so maybe I should go back and check for him so the liquid things is still going down the hill. I was so unsure that is there any chance to find him or maybe after he’s finished all people who has been so gathering and maybe I will find him Couldn’t find any reason to leave it out then all people has been super gathered by the government and be controlled by the government and there is no point to live so I saw other people like there was a bicycle trying to skate but she was come and Fall into that river and she was she gone as well so I was in this dream and sudden and woke up and find myself a safe place. I was very very sad dream
Winning an arm wrestle match against one of my friends. I thought that he would be difficult to beat but I was surprised to see how easy it was to beat him
5 Nov 2024
I was in therapy, we went up in a cramped elevator to the top floor of a tall building with the therapist, after that we came to the lower floor somewhere in a meadow where flowers were burning and suddenly it was group therapy The therapist explained to me about the nearby bedrooms and there was also some kind of music festival very close by after that I waited for a new time and suddenly I was in the room in therapy with the children, I suddenly left there in the middle of therapy and waited for the bus home
My dream last night was scary. In the beginning of the dream, I was sitting on the couch with my mom watching tv, and we were arguing about something stupid… until the tv started malfunctioning, my mom noticing that first, then the Echo Show started emitting this high pitched sound, and it was coming from outside too. I got up and was heading for the back window in the kitchen, but was stopped when my whole body went tingly and my brain started feeling fuzzy and I fell to the floor. It was like a seizure. Before it went black I tried to say “terrorists” but it came out as “terr…” then everything went black, and I woke up. When I woke up I still felt the tingling sensation and I had a massive headache
Another very mystical and powerful dream. I dreamed first that I was a prostitute in a society that truly looked down on those people like more than they do in waking life. I with a bunch of low life people and I wanted to bring them in my moms house but she was living in an apartment so I had no way to sneak them in or out. Then there was a man who was my brother and he only had one leg and was handicapped but he was encouraging me to face my fears and climb on these huge rock formations that looked like a natural alter to god in the sky carved by angels. It was breathtaking. I was singing and trying to learn a song I was supposed to perform on the top of this rock and I was afraid I would forget how it went. I remember looking at us climbing but from an aerial view like from outside of my body. I remember being so proud and amazed by my brothers ability to climb down with only one leg and here I was with 2 legs and fully capable of using my whole body but I was too frightened to climb down. Afte seeing my brother jump down with his disability flawlessly I was ready to do it too. I jumped down off the final platform and landed effortlessly on my feet.
I was renting a house from this man named Andy. Andy is a real person from my life. He was a janitor at a job I worked and had a crush on me. He was always a little creepy and way older. I was supposed to be renting it with my sister but somehow she wasn’t there and hadn’t been paying rent. It was very messy with my stuff and hers in corners of the house. The house was two floors but didn’t really have any rooms, just each floor like one big room. When I went to the laundry room I saw beetles and cockroaches. It was a total infestation and they were crawling all over the dirty laundry on the ground. Over my favorite tomato sweater and everything. It was snowing and I also began to realize water was coming through the second floor into the corners of the first floor of the house. I tried to get the cockroaches first with humane traps. The traps came with live cockroaches that were supposed to lure other ones into the humane trap. The trap was made to stuck to the ground and cockroaches would go into it and not be able to come out. I put two on the ground and immediately the cockroaches escaped. Now I had introduced even more cockroaches. I told myself I’d have to buy the poison to kill them all. I realized now that water was pouring from a corner so I rushed up to the second floor to see snow was melting through the cracks in the wooden roof. The house was now like a log cabin. Or maybe it was just how it was the whole time and I hadn’t noticed. I realized I’d have to call Andy. But Andy was creepy and could be unpredictable and sometimes over reactive. I started cleaning and sorting the corners of the room with the most mess. The items were wet now but I just tried to make it cleaner so Andy wouldn’t be made or comment on it. I started cleaning under the bed. Anxious that Andy would ask why I didn’t notice or call him sooner. I started thinking in my head how he might proposition me to give him a blowjob in exchange for fixing things in the house I was renting from him or in exchange for not paying different parts of the rent. Then I worried what if I said no. Would he force me anyway? I started to clean faster even more nervous. The house was looking a lot cleaner and I turned my attention to the laundry room again. Now with the clothes off the floor and in a corner I didn’t see any coackroaches although I knew they were there. I was still nervous about one running across the floor while Andy was at the house. before the dream ended, I saw either Andy or my dad parking the car in the snow outside the house. I can’t remember, but I do think it was my dad and I think in the dream I was relieved that it wasn’t Andy, but I was also nervous because I knew my dad was going to comment on how messy the house was too Back-and-forth in my head if giving Andy a blow job if he proposition to me would be fun or not consensual/assault. Somehow there is also a part in my dream about musical theater and a high school Director, not having enough money for a musical production despite the students being really really talented. However, most of my dream was about the house, the cockroaches the water coming in from the second floors roof to the first floor in all the corners of the house and feeling anxious about having to call the landlord Andy for help because was creepy and I was afraid that he might Hurt me sexually.
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