19 Jan 2025
Dream
In one dream I was at a restaurant with my sisters and we sat near a family or large group spread across several tables. They were all white and two were women while the rest were lots and lots of young men. The young men wore red baseball caps backwards and sat with their knees wide. They were all Trump voters and while I wasn’t scared of them, I didn’t want to be around them. I told my sisters that the women with them hopefully voted at least independent, because all the men in their lives voted for Trump. The implication was while they didn’t have much reason to be liberal, they might have some sense of self-preservation when it comes to the threat Trump poses. I went to go use the bathroom and it was confusingly laid out with huge stalls at awkward angles. I went into one stall where the toilet flushed on its own, flushing away some pee and remaining poop from a previous user. Before I could sit down and use it a young white man in military camo turned the corner, and I quickly got out of there. I wondered if I’d accidentally gone in the men’s bathroom (but the signage was unclear), and what was going on with the stall doors that he could just walk in. All I knew was that I did not belong in a space with him and left immediately.
In another dream someone was stealing from my Amazon account. They were making lots of small random purchases, and a few big purchases. I called customer support and they were very clear and didn’t solve the problem. My mom was witnessing me deal with this. I wasn’t angry at anyone, except sort of at the thief; I mostly felt confused and really anxious and like what should be mine was getting taken away. At one point I pleaded with customer service that with all the money there were spending, which might not be recoverable, I wouldn’t have enough for rent. I was mostly inside of or looking at a computer screen throughout this. Then a middle-aged white woman showed up at the front door of my childhood home, and I answered. She had big blue eyes and stringy gray hair. She looked like a normal lady, but there was something off-putting and too intense about her. She handed me four DoorDash gift cards, which weirded me out because why are there four, and why is she giving them to me? She seemed insulted by my evaluation of the cards, but in a silent, tense way. Our whole interaction was tense as everything was under the surface. I eventually refuse her and tell her to leave or something, and next I’m in the hallway watching her outside the living room window. She pulls a gun on the back of my mom’s head, as she is sitting at a table. I think I react to this but I don’t remember what I did. The whole thing was extremely threatening.
I was talking to Amazon customer support again and this time I got real help. The young woman was very competent and kind. After we resolved much of the issue online, she sat me down at a table with a photo album of the people who had accessed my account. The first few photos were blurry but I recognized the pics as those of a few friends or acquaintances. Then there were some other pics I don’t remember, followed by a couple bearded older white men with American flags as their background. The woman and I exchanged amused glances as if to say something was definitely wrong for them to be in there! We laughed and commented on that together. Next was what should have been a scary photo of rupaul and some drag queens, it was a cartoon rendering and their faces were huge and scary, but it was colorful and fun nonetheless. I said something like “you can’t tell from this picture but these are actually the best people that could be in here, I like them.” Mind you these were all people that had accessed my Amazon account and ostensibly many, but not all, of them had stolen from me or purchased things in my name. I wasn’t angry at any of them, just sort of defeated when it was people I didn’t like, and amused or chipper when it was people I did like.
