3 Mar 2024
Dream
I barely remember bits and pieces since I should've recorded this as I woke up from my accidental 4 hour nap but here it is. I was with another girl and some dude with some sort special abilities or power but I wasn't there as me, rather an entirely different person at least externally. The dude wasn't necessarily like an enemy or antonganist from my point of view/towards me but also wasn't necessarily with or on mine and the other girls side either, like a chaotic neutral kind of character with a little unsure back and forth between goals, intent, motives, and action/behavior. Always difficult to tell and almost fickle in that sense but nothing too worrying for me at least. The three of us ended up together along mine and the other girls 'mission' and journey to do/find something like a truth and I believe shut something no good down. He just kind of ended up there, with intent that was clearly not trying to 'help' us but not necessarily 'against' us either and with his own motives that are more or less unclear but not really threatening so we were oddly comfortable with him in our own ways aside from some occasional bickering and what not. I am unaware of the backstory of the three of us and our affiliations with each other but I knew that much as far as how we all got on with each other and what we know of each other's characters. For some reason I couldn't physically stand at first, in a wheelchair and something had happened in front of me a ways away that I wanted to see out of disbelief and like a hope. It seemed like an act of kindness and positive change being shown from the random people idly there and I remember feeling disheartened just a moments before this with a lack of confidence and insecurity with my own capabilities and luck. He knew this and seemed to try to lift my confidence and hopes up in his own subtle though direct way. Seeming satisfied when I without any help quickly stood up and managed to even walk a little towards the scene which brought on a lot of emotions in me and determination. There was a time skip to me, him, and the other girl ending up in this giant flooded sewer like area where normally people aren't supposed to be for many safety reasons as well as it not being built for that. The water was practically up to our chest and really strong and big like waves, it was scary but I remained nearly unfazed by fear as we waded through the gushing water into the next section of nothing really different. There was a different little opening though quite big to the side like that of a sewer system that had a red light illuminating it to a high powered fan that would indefinitely kill us if we ended up there. I got stuck somehow being pushed by the water towards that opening and getting dangerously close to the terrifying death trap that was, I was panicking and anxiously yelling "guys-!..." in a way that was more alerting rather than a plead for help. They stopped in their tread and looked back, the other girl with a worried expression and the guy with an alerted expression though the guy had managed to very quickly make his way towards me and manage to save me somehow (probably with the help of his questionable strength and mysterious abilities) he helped me out and towards the other girl where we were supposed to be more or less on our way to wherever we were going. The other girl let out a relieved sigh with a faint smirk as she said to me, "You seem to be constantly helped by him"(something along those lines with the same concept and leading tone). I felt a little embarrassed and irritated with myself at the notice of that and realization of my incapabilities in comparison to them, ultimately feeling a little flustered and embarrassed but also really insecure about possibly not being independent or self-reliant and capable enough. I am always quite independent and self-reliant and with every intention to be at all costs but this made it seem as if it weren't enough to be or at least wasn't in these moments. There was more but it gets more difficult to explain further on and more difficult to remember accurately as it is very detailed to begin with and complex. My conscienceness kept going from in the dreaming state to being more aware and in tune of 'reality' and waking life though never actually waking up, more so like just my mind but I never really opened my eyes or felt the rest of my body wake up like such regardless. Due to this it felt like my conscienceness was being pulled in and out of the dream similarly to that of waking up and revisiting/recontinueing the same dream the next time you fall asleep, making it feel like such without having actually.
