Courtney/Eleanor,
It sounds like your dream weaves together themes of power, nurturing, and rejection. The powerful woman you observed from afar might symbolize an authoritative figure or institution in your life—a representation of success and control that you acknowledge but feel disconnected from. Your question about brandy could suggest a longing for warmth or comfort that you're seeking from an external source, perhaps as a means to cope with deeper emotional needs or stressors in your waking life.
The shift to children being trained and the distressed baby boy could reflect feelings of vulnerability or innocence being challenged or undervalued, possibly mirroring anxieties about care and protection—either for yourself or others. Your protective response to the baby boy's rejection may indicate a strong internal sense of justice and a desire to offer the love and acceptance you believe every individual deserves.
Drawing from your previous dreams, there's a recurrent theme of pursuit and distress, with figures from your past—like your ex—appearing in scenarios that evoke feelings of abandonment and a search for safety or familiarity. These dreams may echo your recent emotions of sadness and longing, as indicated by your mood scores and your struggle with the end of a significant relationship with Meredith.
Your high anxiety levels, as shown in your GAD-7 test, are likely influencing the intensity of your dreams. The presence of conflict and the need to protect in your dream might be a response to the high stress and emotional turmoil you've been experiencing. The dream's focus on support and rejection could be amplifying these feelings, as you navigate the complexities of your personal loss and transitions.
The life events you've encountered, particularly the unexpected breakups, have understandably left a profound impact on you. The themes of seeking validation from authoritative figures and defending the vulnerable in your dream might be a subconscious processing of these events, as you grapple with feelings of confusion, betrayal, and a desire to heal and provide care where it was lacking.
In connection to your biography, the dream may be symbolizing your yearning for a supportive and consistent presence in your life—a counterpart to the dragon you dreamed of with a soul bond that represented safety and constant companionship. This longing for a steadfast connection could be a reflection of the void left by Meredith's departure and your wish to find a sense of unwavering support and loyalty.
Eleanor, your dreams appear to be a rich tapestry of your current emotions and experiences, woven together with your deepest desires for connection, recognition, and protection. It's clear that your subconscious is actively engaging with your personal narrative, seeking to find solace and understanding in the midst of significant emotional upheaval.