30 Apr 2025
Dream
Just had a dream where we compare to and this is the impression I have when I woke up that compared to like avonlea or end of Green gables and gossip girl. Set contemporary time so it's a little bit of a weird analogy but that's kind of was the impression I had in my head and in it I have his girlfriend who earlier in the dream her ex had a chance to win her back I think I get the impression that that's about what now it would and he didn't make the choice to be with her who I made the choice to do his own thing and then later on we're having some sort of a party or something and he ends up being there as well as this other girl who I think kept chasing out to him or I think not entirely certain on on that hole dynamic but turns out that the girl said something shitty to my girlfriend and she ended up getting up and leaving going upstairs to the kitchen or something like that and apparently I went after her and then somebody else comes up the stairs saying that that girl had been saying the same shit that she just said to my girlfriend or backhandedly said I'm not exactly sure but has been saying that shit all over the place like we listed off like three or four different places that are relatively popular or whatever and this news made my girlfriend even more upset and she ran off I think to her room or something she wanted to be alone So I ended up going back downstairs saying something along the lines once I got down there kind of kind of loud that you know just the other day I was thinking of myself how shit it is when people talk shit behind your back and you're not there to be able to defend yourself or anything like it's just so fucking underhanded and of course this ends up have an effect on on the girl who was talking to my girlfriend who I think was after my girlfriend sex and so she runs off and the other guy is like man why did you have to do that I know it was shitty but like now she's all upset and tells me she is the cool girl you know like she's really nice generally and I was like yeah she does seem like a cool girl but she's saying shit you know and he falls up saying how she's cute and I'm like yeah I'm a such at the same time you know She was and then yeah you're right you know for sure it definitely I get that it's the redeem quality for whatever whatever and somehow leads me saying something mildly self-deprecating not like terribly just more of an acknowledgment of not being all that suave or anything and And he looks at me like seriously you've never endeared anybody like charmed them never charmed them endeared them Yeah that's what I said that's why I said I've never really been that charming something He looks at me and says you've never endeared anybody I'm like yeah well maybe I have but it's not really lasted more than 3 hours I say jokingly holding up three fingers even and I laugh He's laughing I think another joker too been thrown between the two of us you know kind of having a good time recognizing that this common ground between us or it's just the way I played it perfectly cuz from there I basically told him as I see him like kind of nervously or anxiously not nervous anxious looking down the way where she'd run off actually both of them technically but in my head I get the impression he was more worried about the the other girl and I look at them and I tell him you know what my advice is You go run after the one who's more in your heart and I don't know if I set the whole thing up from the beginning to have him go run after this new girl instead of my girlfriend so that I end the whole thing cuz like that was the thing my girlfriend was really happy that her ex was there like you know she was all trying to be charming and and wanting to impress and then that one girl saying shit that she did really embarrassed my girlfriend or whatever and I think that's why she was more upset than anything because the shit was said right in forever ex or whatever this guy who seemed to be there because she was there even though he had his chance you know like 2 months ago or something like that to win her back and didn't and so I feel like somehow I either unconsciously or really really swively set up the whole thing knowing that I was upset her and tell him to go chase after that other girl Now I don't really know which girl he went after clearly there was a gamble being made but I pushed the envelope and of course that's where I woke up
So not that I remember this being part of my own calculus but I can't help but notice that Yeah I do think I was thinking about the fact that here is his chance you know a couple months ago and I fucked it up and kept thinking about that right What the fuck is this guy's problem but you say my method instead jumping on the opportunity I didn't have to call him out with what are you doing here You had your chance you know months ago Oh that would do is put my girlfriend back into his mind centrally even revealing to him that he had a chance he had a shot and reinforcing the idea that he still does but not saying that is certainly the better move not that there isn't calling him out because like I said calling him out telling him back down it would signal to him to keep trying and then before sending them on his way with the advice I endeared myself to him in such a way that he felt the bro connection or something right And in that sense unless she was completely associopath he's less likely to want to slight me as somebody that he found relatable and potential friend type of connection I even had it beware we never talked about my dolphin in that situation and the situation is only the other girl that was the center of the conversation retaining his focus on her and then telling him to go after whoever's in his heart. Sound clearly I set it up so that it should work in my favor on multiple angles and then of course I don't want to be the one to go up to my girlfriend and be like yeah he's just left chasing after the other girl blah blah blah cuz from me that sounds like loading but let him make a scene of doing it and the news would get to my girlfriend without me having to say it in a way that could be perceived as gloating Now I can be there as a sympathetic arm of understanding when she says she just wanted to be friends still you know they didn't want bad blood but she can't believe that he would be all that shady and I get to be there to you know put my arm around her and tell her it's all going to be okay and give her the true balanced mail now support the true masculinity and I barely had to do a thing certainly not getting a fight with anyone in that situation.
Last part that I can't help but note is with the saying that I'm not that charming in such a way that wasn't really truly self-deprecating. It acted more as a method to disarm than anything else, and also served to bridge a gap where I did. I made a peaceful conversation with my perceived enemy, who I was upset with having me there, but able to find some level of common ground in a way. And become receptive and received. And, you see, even if the entire event was related to my girlfriend as to what happened, where if one was reading the situation the way I am, and you guys are, could see to what degree I was, quote, manipulative, the only thing that can be said of my actions is I came down and defended my girlfriend. The only thing caustic of any kind that was said was, just speaking truth, not even all that confrontational, just the straightforward, and that's the other thing, what I said was not said to anybody else, except for right in front of the person, not talking behind their back whatsoever, being true to the words that I was saying. And even if my girlfriend had a conversation with that guy his take would not be that I was rude mean forceful asshole but endearing to him subtly even though I said I'm not endearing Lil reverse psychology there at the same time is disarming and setting myself to be put into position of perceived as the higher ground.
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