Dream About Therapists Outdoor Event Friendship Brother Soccer

This dream was about

For some reason I had two therapist the one I have in my waking life and another one that was an unfamiliar white man. I went to this outdoor event with a band playing music and my white male therapist was there. We ended up chatting and he was saying something to me and I couldn't make out what he said. He thought I was listening to him but really I didn't hear what he said. He got upset with me for not listening but I explained to him I couldn't hear him over the band. He was pretty defensive but we moved on. Later on I met a new unfamiliar female friend at the event. We chatted and the same thing happened and I couldn't hear something she was saying and she asked me do I need to repeat something to me three times and she mockingly told me something three times and I told her don't do that. I couldn't hear her over the band. Later on we were hanging out and I was telling her about how I’ve experienced losing two friends in my lifetime. The one who broke our friendship a few years ago and another friend I was close to back in college that I distanced myself from her after several instances of her crossing my boundaries. The friend I broke up with I reconnected with her soon after I moved to NC. She apologized for her actions towards the end of our college career and soon after but our friendship never quite became close again. Nor did I ever wanted it to. And now we just follow each other on social media and that's it. When I started to tell her about the friend that broke up with me I decided to pull up our last text message exchange ad share it with her. I pulled something up and started reading it but it wasn't the text from the old friend I quickly realized it was a text message from my white male therapist. Accusing me of lying about not listening and that I lied to him that it was the band. He shared a long paragraph indicating other negative untruthful things about me and that he no longer wanted to be my therapist. But I also felt like the therapist was acting pretty unethical because I had this feeling he romantically liked me. Anywho, after reading it I was really hurt. I was hesitant to share the text with my new unfamiliar friend because he accused me of not listening just like she did earlier but I gave her heads up of that and told her anyways. Later on I met with my black female therapist who is actual my therapist in my waking life. Told her everything that happened with the other therapist and she was very empathetic with me and felt sorry that I experienced that from a fellow therapist. I felt seen and heard like I usually do with my therapist. Later on I went to a party and I saw my therapist there. We chatted and quickly became actual friends. I was dating this guy and it was early on in our dating life and after several interactions he became pretty pushy. There was a moment I told him I really liked him and he told me he loved me. Which I thought was weird cause it was very early on. And he flirtingly insisted I tell him I love him back which I didn't want to but I did cause I didn't want to make me feel bad. I felt love-bombed and I got a feeling that I was starting a new abusive cycle similar to the one I had with my abusive ex in my waking life at the beginning of our relationship but it just looked differently. Later on my therapist was realizing how pushy my date was being to me and she decided to stand up for me and tell him to back off and stop treating me that way. She later on told me this isn't something I wouldn't do as a therapist but since we're friends now I can do that. We hugged and I felt bitter sweet. Because I was happy to have her as friend but I also knew that meant she had to terminate our therapist-and-client relationship because it would be unethical for us to still be connected this way. I was worried about finding a new therapist because she was the first therapist in my waking life I really felt fully connected to and I've made significant progress with. All my other therapist weren't the right fit. Later on in the dream, I was hanging out with a bunch of people seemingly friends but my estranged brother was also there. We were playing different outdoor games like football and soccer. I helped kick off the games and get everyone excisted to play we would start playing and then when my brother decided to leave to do something else people would stop and start following him. In the last game we started to play soccer and he went inside to do something else and folks just started playing. And I asked why folks were folks were leaving and not interested in playing anymore and it was basically because my brother left. I hated that. It was like folks followed up and didn't think for themselves. It kind of remind me in our waking life before I stopped speaking to my brother he was a devout Christian and a pastor. Very gifted preacher and at some point became a youth pastor at a church in Randolph, MA. After a few years he wasn't seeing eye to eye with the main pastor there and decided to leave, a lot of folks left the church as well. He attempted to start his own church and that kind of dwindled down but he still had devout followers one of which was one of his youth members at the old church and they started dating. She was 15 when they met and he was 27. They didn't have a relationship beyond pastor and member until she became of legal age soon after she went to college and they started to like each other more than friends. A few years ago he converted into a Black Hebrew Isrealite. We started to become more distant soon after I went off to college and he became a youth pastor but I decided to stop speaking with him altogether soon after he became a Black Hebrew Isrealite. He was more unbearable, condescending and patronizing. It was miserable to speak and relate to him. Now we're completely estranged and he married that young woman he basically groomed. The dream ended with everyone not playing soccer anymore and i had this feeling of annoyance against my brother again and I once again kept my distance from him.