Michelle, let's delve into the layers of your dream. The presence of your real-life crush as a new boyfriend highlights a manifestation of your desires and fantasies. The act of intimacy at your house may symbolize a yearning for closeness and vulnerability with him, a safe space where you can express yourself freely. Transitioning from this private space to the bustling city and opting for easy-to-remove clothing suggests a readiness for exploration and adaptability, perhaps reflecting a desire for change or spontaneity in your current life.
The choice to carry a backpack, something unusual for you, might represent the emotional or mental baggage you're consciously or unconsciously deciding to bring along. Entering the store, where you know the owner, signifies familiarity and comfort, yet your boyfriend's discomfort could symbolize underlying tensions or uncertainties in your relationship or how you perceive his feelings. This tension escalates in the unisex bathroom stalls, an unusual and intimate setting that blends privacy and exposure, perhaps mirroring your mixed feelings of security and vulnerability.
The shocking revelation that your boyfriend murdered a baby introduces a stark contrast to the familiar settings, suggesting a fear of discovering unsettling truths about someone close to you. The baby could symbolize innocence or new beginnings, and its murder might indicate an anxiety about these elements being abruptly ended or threatened. Your boyfriend's nonchalant justification for his actions—being annoyed—could reflect a fear of irrational or unpredictable behavior in relationships, or perhaps a deeper concern about the fragility of trust.
Your decision to examine the crime scene despite the police presence shows a courageous, if risky, attempt to confront the reality of the situation, even when it terrifies you. The overwhelming sight of blood and your subsequent panic attack highlight a sense of being overwhelmed by the gravity of the revelation. Your hiding behind the half wall symbolizes a need for protection and space to process overwhelming emotions.