Dream About Abandoned House And Lucidity

My dream starts with me being in some abandoned house with a whole bunch of drug addicts doing drugs and exchanging paraphernalia. Then my mom picks me up from there and on the ride home, I see the sky is extremely blue and there are beautiful white blossoms all over the trees and everything is just vibrant and beautiful and I step out of the vehicle to really take a look and I say this is the most beautiful day I have ever seen in my entire life. and I hear something coming from around the bend so I follow it down and there's this little town from my dreamscape, one that I've been there before and my grandma's there too. A lot of the things are made of gold and like an aquamarine color swirled together with gem stones and marble all very regal and expensive and like they said I guess they were El Dorado hills gold and there's a lot of like Spanish type themes and big rock columns, Mediterranean style too. Again there's that horseshoe shape island with the beautiful homes right there that I've seen before in my other dreams. There are parades with exotic animals and water around everywhere and I am with my grandma and we are having the time of our lives. I reach for my phone to capture the moment and I begin to film but I am very worried about running out of room in my phone or the footage not being captured. Then I notice the water begins to dry up and all of the bright colors begin to fade and and beautiful and exotic animals turn to basic long horn cattle that are charging at us. I run and grab for a tree branch only to be relentlessly pursued by one in particular that keeps coming back and trying to gorge me. I hang on for dear life as the stampede slows down and only the clouds of dust are left. Then I call for my grandma. But she is no where to be found. I frantically call for her and still there is no reply. As I watch the beautiful scenery turn to a dull lifeless dried out desert rather than the vibrant beautiful oasis of life and culture my heart begins to fill heavy as I realize that my grandma is dead and that she was never really there to begin with. But then I reach in my pocket for my phone and I find that there is footage of her there which gives me a feeling of hope and happiness unparalleled by anything else. I frantically try to show everyone and I slowly realize that I am in a lucid dreaming state and that I can control the scenery or the people who are there and what is going on in the dreamscape around me. I bring back the beauty and the exotic animals and vibrant colors and my grandmother and I enjoy the small hidden pocket of life and culture that I have created just for me, even if it’s only for a fleeting moment and even though I know it won’t last. I am still saddened by this but I use it as an opportunity to see my grandma anyway and hold her and love her. Then there are some typed of pages I wrote that blow around in the wind and my ex boyfriend Chuy catches one and sees his name. Unsure and embarrassed about the content I snatch the pages back from him and try to make an excuse as to why they would say his name, I think I claimed it was a list of phone numbers. I begin to go back and forth between this hidden world tucked into the hills of the Altamont pass in my dreamworld and back to the abandoned house where trouble and conflict begin to break loose. I was laying down with Chuy and I said something and some large black man began to try and attack me and punch me but Chuy quickly responded and fought the man and overpowered him. I then began to have conflict with a group of African American girls who I think were related to the man. They out numbered me but I stood tall and firm and told them that they do not want problems with me and I bluffed about having more people to back me up than I really did but it worked and they backed down. Later one through a pancake at me but it looked very delicious and I just wanted to find butter and syrup to eat it. I run into some of my cousins there and the dream somehow takes me to the dining room on my aunt and cousins at my great grandmothers house that used to be a place of stability love and comfort for me growing up. We seem to be arguing about something small but we are bringing plates of lasagna to this large table for everyone, but I begin to understand that they don’t have anywhere to live and that seems to be a theme throughout the dream- many people being homeless and relying on me to help me in some way. I feel overwhelmed and powerless to help them