Refuse

8 Apr 2024

Dream

My son was attacked by a possum and I wanted to take him to the hospital but my ex was refusing to get rid of the possum so we could go to the hospital. My son had scars and scratches all over him. And there was blood.

2 Apr 2024

Dream

i was hanging out with my boyfriend and his sister at his house and my friend was there but she ended up going home early but me my boyfriend and his sister went to go pick up some girl who was my boyfriends friend and we got into her car for some reason and my boyfriend sat in the passengers seat which made me uncomfortable and it was his friend driving he was in the passengers seat i was in the back and his sister was in the way back with her ex bf who was her boyfriend at the time but my boyfriend and his friend were talking a lot and she was starting to flirt with him a little and then she ended up getting really close to his face at a red light and when they got a little too close i scream "What the fuck do you think youre doing" and she jumped up and shook her head acting like nothing was happening and i started going off on her for thinking that she could just waltz in here and try and make a move on my boyfriend and then we arrived at my boyfriend's house again and his sister told their mom what happened and then her mom smiled at me because she was on my side and his friends name was nora(even though my boyfriend doesnt have a girl best friend irl) and she was sitting on the couch across from me and thought what she did was funny and my boyfriend wasnt doing anything but by time she had to go home she wanted my boyfriend to come with her because he had to get his car from her house and i refused to let them go by themselves because i didnt know if nora would make a move again or if my boyfriend would let her but i woke up before anything could happen

2 Apr 2024

Dream

My crush went blind and I was going to write him a poem trying to express that I love him but when I went to see him with my mom she said that I should give it to him but when I was going to give it to him I refused cause it would be embarrassing when he isn’t blind and reads it

1 Apr 2024

Dream

I had strange dream where a woman who had been hiding her face and body with big clothing locked me away in a closet. At first, I couldn’t free myself because I had been restrained. Eventually she freed me from my restraints and she took off her clothing. She had a pretty face, but parts of her body were mutilated and deformed in some manner. She asked me to shoot her. It made me angry and I refused.

29 Mar 2024

Dream

all i can remember is that in a cross in a building across from um my old church there was like a kung fu team and they had raised me since i was a baby and they were all animals and specifically the um the monkey animal he had given up on kung fu he like he was like a deadbeat and i was like trying to convince him to like pick up kung fu again and you know like do his purpose or whatever but he refused because there's like some dramatic past for him so that was fine or whatever i also had a little sidekick i think i think it was my like cousin like cousin adjacent friend robbie um he was kind of like with me the entire time um and then we went to the church across the street there was an event but we heard that there was gonna be a shooter so we had all like practiced just in case like there's gonna be a shooter Long story short, in the youth building, there ended up being a shooter, and it was actually really scary. I think it was because right before I had gone to sleep, I saw something about shooters, like people shooting women. It was terrifying. Anyways, he got on top of a lot of tables, and he was like, everybody get out. And then he started shooting up in the air, and people were scattering. And Robbie and I, we hit the floor, and then we escaped because we crawled underneath the tables, and then we started running. At first, we started running out into a dark field, but we saw two people get shot in front of us. So we started running in the opposite direction, back towards the building across the street that we came from. We saw people hiding by the dumpsters, we saw people hiding underneath the cars, and Robbie was like, I'm so tired, please, I can't stop running. And I yelled at him to get up, because we just had to survive and get to the other side. The building was really dark, there was a gate that was open, but it looked like nobody was there, nobody was home. And Robbie told me that he thought it was locked, but I was like, no. There was a friend in here that I told something that they needed to hear. And I go back in, and the monkey dude that was the deadbeat at the beginning, he was picking up kung fu, and I was proud of him. And that was the end of my dream.

27 Mar 2024

Dream

A trip to my old high school. At first, I was in an apartment with my secondary friends. Two of them are recognizable, while one was not. So we start by the point of view of a game FNAF where we need to guard the animatronics, and me and that one recognizable friend Hiep was doing the security guard, while Long and another inrecognizable doing the invader or the animatronics. We start looking around the apartment as we see them chasing us after our backs. They chased us through apartment and apartment until we get out of a building and then we get to a noodle vendor, suddenly we stopped chasing each other. There we order ourself a noodle bowl, but Hiep refused to eat it when he got his meal. He said his grandpa has health problems and he got to go back to his home. His grandpa has high blood pressure and it's hard for him to breathe and he cannot even talk with high blood pressure. I think this is indicating me because I have been experiencing high blood pressure in real life recently. In addition, I attend three highschools overall. Then the scene changes, I am informed to go by car to the second highschool, but it was a flight instead. So I am back to my second old high school. It was a private school with international students. I started my dream there in the third highschool's cafeteria, but the people were the second highschool. I am Vietnamese and the Vietnamese kept staring at me and then they come and talk to me. They said that I should not pretend to be not a Vietnamese anymore because they all know it. So I laughed and admitted that I am a Vietnamese. A friend of mine at that second high school told me that am I not going to meet my best friend here which is Jacob. Jacob is a friend who I havent met for one year even though I have met everyone through 2 of my real trips back to my second old school. And then the scene changes to the dormitory of the school. Here, the dormitory was of the second high school, but the people were the third high school. A student name Xavier, come to my room and ask me how things were doing and we talk about things that is banned from the school so the second high school banned phones and we cannot use phones in our dormitory due to our safety. However, I do got a phone and he laughed because he knows that all the students here, they are all hiding the phones. At this period of time, I realized that this trip is not going to be one-day trip, it's gonna be two day trip as I will be going back to the third highschool, where I am currently studying, tomorrow. Then I slept, and suddenly had a crazy idea. I asked for a girl student here if she wanna come to my room for sex. But she wasn't actually a student here, and she was just a friend on a game I currently play. Then the dream ends. You

27 Mar 2024

Dream

Ok so what happened was it looked like I was in Egypt and I was in a Sand castle and inside there was a stage where I performed and when I was performing with my friend my mom called me to take a shower so I dragged my friend home since they refused to leave and when I got to my home in the castle my mom said she was gonna shower first and the shower was pushed against sand and when my mom showered I noticed that there was a hole and I saw this cute dude peeking at my mom and when my mom got out he asked “why is your private part so clean”my mom got mad and kicked him away and she thought he wouldn’t come back and let me go into the shower and I didn’t notice but the dude was peeking and when I got out my mom told me and we planned to push him into a giant waterfall we had,the next day I was super tired and my vision was blurry and I could barely open my eyes and then I put my mask on and then we got him in the waterfall but then the waterfall got stronger and stronger then wind blew and I fell into the water,my mom tried to help me because I was drowning.

26 Mar 2024

Dream

I had a dream twice. That i was near the sea and had to save someone, a stranger. I jumped in and swam thoward the drowning in the vast eerie ocean under a red sky. I got there rather fast and we were not far from the shore. But when i reached the helpless and took him on my back the retrieval was near hopeless. The shore was so so far away like the drift has pushed us deep into the open ocean. The water was still but when i tried to swim back to the shore, the land visible in front of me but so out of reach, i felt like i didn't move an inch. I swam and swam and swam, but didn't get close. The water was quite shallow for the deep sea but not enough to step on the ocean floor as it covered my airways when doing so. I carried the stranger, refusing to let them go. Even as i slowly started to realise that if helping him would be my dead i wasn't letting go of him. I swam and fought, and swam more and tried to keep him on back. Tried and tried to save him, to save us. And then just as i was feeling so hopeless I looked back. A huge wave high as a mountain was coming behind us. The tsunami hit us. The power of it made me feel so worthless before it. It was so huge and i was a miserable fleck that didn't stand a chance. It crashed and consumed us. As some miracle i survived it. But the stranger was nowhere to be seen. I was a bit closer to the shore but felt like a failure. I had to find the stranger. I couldn't leave without him. Everything was in vain. And so i swam once again toward the shore. And swam and swam. The swimming was easier but i felt the burden of my failed attempt. Because now this person was gone because of me. And i swam still looking for him.

25 Mar 2024

Dream

On a building someone throwing stone A Guy flies and is attacking someone The Sister of the Princess said to the creature, you like her more than us didn't you? The Princess rushed to carriage.. and safely get away from the attackers Covering her with a thick crimson leaf.. Then in the carriage, the princess ordered turn to the left.. And so they did. There's a young child (girl) on the balcony She asked for the Princess to fly in the carriage so they did, and the child was happy. Then a wand suddenly appear to the princess hand.. Then we managed to convince to go back to the castle We're in a balcony.. I was talking to her about how should we cross the line on the other side since there's are friend.. or if we should go to another palace to seek adventure. But she refused and full of excuse.. There's a problem in the castle and she can't turn back at them.. So when I said to the other side that she'll go she got mad.. and pushed to them..

25 Mar 2024

Dream

I remember I had sexual activity with a girl but I would see flashes of it like I was not in control of body. After it was over, she fell in love with me and I did not feel the same way. The next day I was at home with my mom and brother and the girl came to my house unannounced wanting to have sex with me but she wanted to have sex with me the way I fuck her. I was refusing and telling her to leave but she did not listen but instead go into my room and sit on my bed touching my stuff in my room an use it as a masturbation tool in my room but really she was waiting for me in my room because she thought that I was going to have sex with her. I waited outside of my room until she was done and was leaving but everything she used as tool for pleasure she would give to me after that she left and I was afraid of going outside. Then I woke up.

23 Mar 2024

Dream

kind of about eric ig in another universe. briefly shows me / "toni" (short for tonisha i think) meeting and flirting with him for the first time in a theater esque situation at 15. similar shit goes down and i just don't see him after being reprimanded a few months before my 18th things haven't really improved. i'm in a sort of wayward teens program and we're on a field trip. i have a rambunctious beast friend similar to kayla who takes her daily meds but still acts weird. i've mastered the art of not taking i think we're visiting a hospital or living facility of sorts, and i'm aimlessly wandering until i see a familiar name somewhere. i realize he's staying there and don't really tell bff but try to but she's busy talking with one of the male wayward teens she likes. it's kind of a race to evade both building staff and the crew watching the teens but i make it shortly after some religious folks leave the room. i'm panicked thinking he's in hospice but slowly walk in. just by my heels he goes "toni?" i think he's "quenton" in this dream but we sort of awkwardly look at each other before he smiles and we catch up and gossip and he's fine i think just staying in an exclusive residential suite bc he wants to "find himself" and i guess can afford to. at some point things get hot and flirty and kind of weird in the you're still so beautiful but all grown up way but its so sexy to me lol. in the dream some actually ?? stuff happens and bff is there and i think i was just very in real life horny lmao so my dream had a porn like scene anyways it gets back to some sense of reality when again in the dream he leaves halfway through ~activities saying he'll be back and me and best friend cry like wtf but a more normal scene in this hellscape would be i fall asleep after and he says something i can't really decipher and when i wake up he's gone and the alarms are going off in the hospital again my dream gets crazy and there's an action sequence and the hospital explodes ?? but let's say i and some other patients from either program / facility escape without jumping out of a tall ass building. bff somehow makes it out too and she's pissed at me first bc her crush didn't make it out or got bright back to the state custody but we eventually shrug and kind of become street urchins idk if i have family or she does but we spend the next few weeks kind of making the city outside of the "dishonorable youth" program. initially im trying to find him but there are no leads and bff convinces me to give up. it hurts and i wander one more night in a shady alley that's somehow relevant (lmao i think its a college bar area near where he claimed to live during the catching up scene, suggestive / creepy comments and all) and these two east asian guys ask me what a sign says and i'm like "black cherry?" (it looks like a bar) they laugh and speak another language so i walk away and decide that's it, he's gone xmas eve comes, the day before im assuming my / toni's 18th birthday and there's a sliver of hope that there will be a Christmas miracle but im starting to wake up at this point so the last actual dream part was me standing in what was kind of like central park of ny all lit up and i was looking at this really tall light post that's bulb was super bright and i pretended it was a shooting star before bff is like let's get wasted my own ending i think is that i wake up hungover as shit with this guy snapping and going "hello?" and i think he's my shooting star come true on my birthday morning so im like "quin"?? and he says "who?" as the sleepiness leaves my eyes and he's just some college guy from a bar we went to. i blink before smiling and replying "ah, nobody" other parts in the dream that were probably "in order" before my own ending but i couldn't make sense of it in a linear manner include coming back to the hospital that's now in good condition with better security and we make a joke to the receptionists about the incident months prior which makes them confused first then surprised. i think we go the equivalent of jk, oh can we get these drinks? i also think i made note of not seeing his name on the visiting sheet as an option or something so it could have been during the "where's pedo" montage alternative ending i get some sort of real closure? it's been years of no contact atp and i think nye following my 21st and i see him at the event and he sees me. i don't feel the same butterflies and anxiety but just.. weird so i go somewhere less crowded to drink water and this time he followed me. vague small talk, some awkward silences, and then we both say im sorry. and he's like why are u sorry and while i feel like i have a reason i stop and frown and i just don't know. he goes you aren't because you don't need to be and talks about the regret of ruining my adolescence and that's why he ran bc while the night was fun and thrilling it wasn't right and wouldn't end in good for anyone. like how i'm on track in community college after getting my ged (which i mentioned during small talk) and he's in therapy and trying to talk to ppl his age *awkward pained but genuine laughter* we nod and look away nervously while ppl filter in and out of what's probably someone's penthouse kitchen. the ball drop is soon and he says my name and i instinctively look despite feeling ashamed be almost a dog on call, following every command. he says something goofy to lighten the mood but i interrupt and kiss him as the countdown starts. its brief but passionate and at five i go "goodbye, quenton" and run off to the glass/window walls as one approaches. bff is there with u troubled youth boy toy who's turned it around and she grabs my hand and i squeeze back as it's the new year. there's celebration and cheer and yelling and we hug and bff asks "so what's your first resolution" looking her in the eye with a smile and refusing to acknowledge the confused but all too familiar set of eyes i'm sure is on my back "to never look back" toast, cheers, etc noises as she looks confused momentarily but shrugs and smiles bc she may not get it but she /gets it/ and i do too, finally

17 Mar 2024

Dream

Talking amongst friends and new people at a dinner table in a white room. I was a man and I wanted this man next to me. I wanted to suck his dick so I went under the table and started but something happened where he broke my heart. So I got up, upset and left. This beautiful woman decided to get up and follow me out the room into a big white bedroom. I was crying, packing up then all of a sudden I saw her in the corner of my eye. She was smiling at me. She tried to get closer to kiss me but I refused because I didn't want my heart broken again. She then said I'm a man who turned into a woman. I hope that isn't the reason you refuse. I said no that isn't it because I'm the same as you but the other way around. It's just I don't wanna be hurt again. But something about her I just couldn't help myself. I started to make out with her. Touching every part of her body. Sucking her breasts, lifting her skirt and fingering her. It was exhilarating. I told her at some point I'm sorry if I hurt you. She said I'm ok. So I spit on my hand and went back to her beautiful vagina. She was screaming with pleasure, I started kissing her more and more and then finally went all the way. I pulled my manhood out and stuck it inside her, watched her scream of pleasure.