31 Mar 2024
Dream
I was at a dance class, with Thai girls and guys I was the only one who wasn't Thai, we had to dance in these high heels and pretty outfits, but I had a hard time with the high heels, and I fell a couple of times, and the end of the heels were slippery, which made it extra easy for me to fall. As I was clinging onto a railing in the middle of the dance class holding on for dear life not to fall, everyone else looked so serious and so professional, they were dancing so pretty. As i was trying to have my balance back, I saw a bird, it was relatively big, but not too big for me to hold, he had these sharp wings at the end, and he looked so pretty because he was almost colorful. He also as a facial features he looked like a Phoenix. The bird was flying over us (the dancing people) and the dance master got able to catch him, as he watched him I was so afraid the dance master would harm the bird or kick him outside as it seemed he had nobody, he was all alone. I begged the dance master to give me the bird, while struggling to move with the high heels. I wobbled over to the dance master and said please give him to me, and he did. I was so happy but the bird was fierce and wanted to fly out of my hands. He was so soft and cute. I brought him into the backstage, where people change their clothes. I held him there and stroked him, he was calm with me. My two twin friends came and saw the bird, me and them fed the bird. We were so happy that he was doing fine. We fed the bird too much, that he ended up passing away. I started crying, I tried to do CPR on him, but to no avail. The birds soul was already gone. I made him a nest where i could lay him in his last resting place, still feeling guilty for not being able to take care of this animal. I looked at him one last time, I was sure he wasn't dead. I couldn't imagine that he died. As I looked at him, he looked dead. I went home with my mom, in the car I was crying out to my mom how the bird died and how incapable I am of taking care of such a little animal. Guilt and pain was taking over me, as I cried as if someone of my family members died. It was that deep, the bird meant so much to me, and he was gone. And I was the reason for that. It hurt me, the pain of the bird leaving the world so early hit me like a truck, even more than the guilt that was washing up of me. I loved that bird. He was my companion and my best friend, even though we had just met. He meant a lot to me. And I was the reason for his ending. I just wanted to feed him because I thought he was hungry. And we overfed him until he passed. I feel horrible the pain is unbearable.
