Mary,
This is a very powerful and vivid dream that seems to have left a lasting impact on you, even after all these years. The intensity and emotional weight of the dream suggest a deep exploration of your faith and the direction of your life.
The dream takes you through a journey with contrasting elements: Darkness and light, fear and faith, uncertainty and clarity, and self-destructive behavior versus a path towards hope. The ocean with shallow waters speaks of a lack of depth in your faith at the time. The rats and snakes fighting each other represent conflict and chaos within you, perhaps reflecting doubts about your beliefs or a sense of confusion about the path you should take.
However, amidst this struggle, Jesus appears, offering guidance and a sense of direction. He invites you to join him, not out of fear but out of genuine desire and conviction. This could represent a call to deepen your faith, reconnect with your spiritual core, and actively pursue a life aligned with your beliefs.
It's important to note the connection to your current situation. You mentioned being in a long-term, committed relationship, which is a significant life change. This dream might be reflecting a need for introspection and reaffirming your values within this new context. Are there aspects of your faith or spiritual life that need attention or integration into your current relationship?
This dream also echoes themes present in your previous experiences. The feeling of helplessness and the need to escape, as seen in the dreams with your ex and the library, could be related to a deeper yearning for clarity and purpose in your overall life journey.
Remember, dreams can be powerful tools for self-discovery and reflection. This dream seems to be prompting you to examine your faith, values, and desires, and make choices that are authentic and meaningful to you. Take time to reflect on its message, and remember that the path to spiritual growth is often a journey of exploration and discovery.
It's important to remember that dreams are deeply personal and can be influenced by a multitude of factors. Sharing your dreams and seeking interpretations like this one can be a valuable step in understanding yourself better. However, if the emotions and messages of the dream continue to heavily weigh on you, seeking support from other sources, like a trusted friend, therapist, or faith leader, could be beneficial in further exploring the dream's meaning and its potential impact on your current life journey.
Connect with a therapist
