Dream Of Cheating And Lost Identity

I dreamt my boyfriend and I were at a scary movie that doesn’t really exist (at least not that I know off. Not yet.) but it was in a low budget church in it’s basement instead of a movie theatre or at home. Many people were attending as well. Well into the movie, He disappeared and I found him with a girl on his lap, kissing her.. more passionately than he has ever kissed me with his hand around her waist. He showed her affection in public with the world to see which again, he’d never do with me. I went directly over and pulled her by her hair off of him and began repeating punching her in the face. As it happened, my boyfriend and even her were making jokes and laughing as if it wasn’t happening. Everyone that surrounded us, didn’t even react to the fight. After the fight, I took my shattered heart and my car (which was like a pink monster truck) and drove away while my boyfriend laughed at me and shrugged me off saying he’d see me at home. I was crying with blurry vision as I drove on a rode with endless hills to drive over. I crashed the car, falling off the road (that was high in the sky for some reason) to what I had hoped was my death. Suddenly I was in a mall, looking for the exit where the girl (my boyfriend cheated on me with) and her friends followed me. I confronted them and after breif conversation, I’d say we became friends. She claimed that she didn’t know he was dating someone and I told her I believed her. Because I did. I liked her and hated her because I knew why my boyfriend liked her. She was so nice, delicate, funny, sweet, attractive, gentle and very pretty. I envy her. She began trying to help me get out but once an exit was found, it was blocked by a giant santa hand grabbing a desplay of Christmas decorations in the mall. It looked like a promo of some sort but it was still triggering and terrifying. I eventually found a way down and we caught in the middle of some soft of a beauty pageant with a bouncey floor in the middle of the mall. I came down the stairs with a new outfit on. A dress and heels and began dancing with people who looked at me with awe. I began a solo dance (some sort of ballet dance with low gravity) with a handsome man who made me feel like how every girl wants to feel. We danced together with others around us on the dance floor but it felt like just the two of us. I was happy. I was calm. I forgot what pain was for a brief period in time. It was wonderful. They announced me as “the (blank) star.” I couldn’t hear the word before “star”, it sounded muffled and unclear. After the dance ended with the mystery man carrying me to put my heels back on that fell off when he spun me in the air. Then…everything went back to normal again only the girl and her friends were nowhere to be found and I was alone again, searching for my way out. Once I got outside, I was so excited. So sure I had found the right path home and was terrified of seeing my boyfriend who in my head was now my ex by my own fault. I blamed myself for him doing exactly what I feared and predicted he’d do all these years. His reaction made it all the worse because I knew he would react that way. I knew he wouldn’t care about breaking my soul. I knew he would never cry at the thought of me crying. And it hurt to see I was right to worry and that it was true. Nonetheless, when I reached outside I saw I was still lost. Even more so than before. The mall and the surrounding area were a familiar part of my actual home in Cleveland, OH. Tower city and the community college near by but not at the same time. I feel to my knees in defeat, knowing I’d be lost in that area until my dying breath and that realization made me numb and cold. I felt myself fade away.