Mary,
Your dream seems to reflect a variety of conflicting emotions and a sense of preparation for an unknown yet significant event. The recurring theme of cleaning and the tension with your roommate could symbolize a feeling of needing to meet others' expectations or a fear of not contributing enough to a shared responsibility. The frustration in not being able to find your pronoun pin might represent a search for identity or a concern for how others perceive you, especially in social settings.
The anticipation of an event that everyone but you knows about may indicate feelings of being left out or a fear of missing out on important life events. The presence of family members and their eagerness could reflect your perception of their expectations of you. Choosing your outfit, a pink sweater with a monster lady, and contemplating a more "sexy" look could be an expression of your desire to fit in or stand out, while also considering how you want to express your individuality.
The involvement of an ex-boyfriend, Nathan, at the end of the dream, whom you still have feelings for, suggests unresolved emotions regarding past relationships. It's interesting that his appearance is linked with the event you're preparing for, hinting at a connection between past experiences and future expectations.
While the dream had negative feelings, it wasn't a nightmare, and the emotions level was relatively low, indicating that these themes might be subtly present in your waking life. It could be beneficial to reflect on areas where you feel pressure to conform or perform, and how past relationships may be influencing your current outlook on social commitments or personal identity.
The dream's complexity, weaving together themes of expectation, identity, and personal relationships, points to a rich inner life. Remember, these interpretations are based on the symbols and emotions presented in the dream and how they may relate to common experiences and feelings. Your own insights into how these themes play out in your life can add further depth to understanding this dream.