Candy, your dream is a fascinating exploration of the subconscious mind. The presence of hundreds of beautiful symbols signifies a deep-seated need to connect with and understand the more esoteric aspects of your inner self. These symbols, which you describe as strange and occultic, may represent elements of your psyche that are usually hidden from your conscious awareness. This implies that you have a rich inner world filled with complex emotions and thoughts, perhaps stemming from your experiences and the process of dealing with your widowhood.
The fact that these symbols make sense to you suggests that, on some level, you are already in tune with these deeper aspects of yourself. This could indicate a strong intuitive sense or a well-developed inner wisdom that guides you through life's challenges. It's possible that these symbols are a form of communication from your subconscious, providing you with insights or messages that are crucial for your personal growth and emotional healing.
When you sit down and acknowledge that 'this is the only time I get to see my subconscious', it reveals a profound awareness of the importance of dreams and the subconscious mind in understanding yourself. This act of sitting down symbolizes a willingness to engage with and explore these hidden parts of yourself. It's a powerful statement about your desire for self-awareness and the value you place on introspection.
Your dream also reflects a balance between the conscious and subconscious mind. By recognizing the significance of this encounter with your subconscious, you show a readiness to integrate these insights into your waking life.