Dream About Nightmares And Spiritual Awareness

So ya know that time I was at Mary’s- Still having nightmares. Maybe still getting attacked? It was kinda scary and I would cry a lot and sweat and there was like this sludge thingy- black thing inside of me. So I took a bunch a showers and would get high which kinda made me more “spiritually aware”. When I was in the shower it felt like there was a man in there with me- super close kinda talking me through it or something. It felt like he’d try to hug me from a different dimension space. Like a world just outside of ours looking in. And he was, I think the same guy who sat next to me at grandma and grandpas farm when I was in the bathroom and it felt inchy and painful between my legs. I had looked and there hair down there had turned white and almost stringy? Falling off. I had stopped getting my period for a long time at this point. I was still getting attacked maybe. So I think I was really scared and that may have been the start of when I started regressing to a kid. And I think back then I was super mean to him majority of the time I wasn’t regressed. But when I was in the bathroom, it was like that didn’t matter and he was my best friend and he talked me through it and told me not to be afraid. Back then I used to ask daddy to go to the bathroom with me sometimes cause I was to scared to go alone. Also er well I’m just saying this cause in my dream I was- well I started in bed but I went outside and it was sunny. I walked up the hill and set up a canvas and started painting and it felt like daddy was there. And he got really close to me and started cuddling. It was the bestest he was so warm but a little overwhelming because my body felt a little weird. But I wanted him closer. I wish I could fall asleep with daddy cuddles. I also went to a Sabrina Carpenter Concert.