Kenah C. Sydori,
In your vivid dream, the white horse with the diamond saddle symbolizes purity, prosperity, and the weight of something valuable yet potentially overwhelming that you're struggling to support. The sensation of the horse almost crushing you, paired with the physical chest pain upon waking, points to a significant stress or responsibility in your waking life that may be pressing heavily upon you. The fact that you managed to hold up the horse suggests resilience and strength in the face of your challenges.
Transitioning to the dream about the menstrual cycle, it can represent a release of tension, a new beginning, or a transformation that's taking place within you. The progression from dry to red blood indicates that something in your life may have started stagnantly but is now moving towards a more vibrant, or "living," phase. This could be related to personal growth, creativity, or emotional expression.
The encounter with your ex-crush in the dream serves as a complex symbol of intimacy and connection, but also boundaries and unresolved feelings. The initial act of oral sex may denote a longing for closeness or acceptance, while his abrupt departure and refusal to continue could reflect inner conflicts about your needs and desires, possibly echoing past experiences of rejection or the complex emotions surrounding your divorced status.
The presence of these distinct elements in your dream – the overwhelming pressure of the horse, the menstruation indicating change, and the halted intimate encounter with a past figure – all seem to intertwine, suggesting a current life phase where you are dealing with the burden of past relationships while navigating transitions and seeking personal renewal. Despite the intensity and some negative feelings, you exhibit the strength to endure and push forward, as represented by holding up the horse.
Keep in mind that every dream is a deeply personal reflection of one's inner world, and the symbols therein can have unique meanings based on your life experiences and emotional state. These interpretations aim to resonate with the threads of your life that you may be currently contemplating or dealing with, especially as they relate to the pressures and transformations you're experiencing.