Courtney/Eleanor, your dream of walking or crawling along a deteriorating jetty symbolizes a journey through a challenging phase of your life, where stability seems to be crumbling beneath you. The African man swimming contentedly represents a part of you that remains untroubled by the chaos surrounding you. Dropping the towel, an item often associated with comfort or cleanliness, into the water suggests a loss or relinquishment of security. Struggling with spiders and their webs could point to feelings of being trapped or overwhelmed by anxieties or fears in your waking life.
The presence of spiders, especially being pitch black with crystal-like eyes, might indicate feelings of being watched or scrutinized, which can be a manifestation of your own inner judgments or other people's perceived judgments. Falling into the water and fighting against the current without success could mirror a sense of helplessness or a lack of control in certain aspects of your life. The intensity and negative feelings of this nightmare reflect a high level of distress you might be experiencing.
This dream echoes previous experiences where you've found yourself in unfamiliar or uncomfortable work environments, such as the dark warehouse and the massive warehouse from your past dreams. Struggling to find your office or organize space suggests a recurring theme of searching for your place or role, which could relate to your feelings of instability in personal or professional contexts.
The high anxiety levels indicated by your GAD-7 test align with the distressing elements of the dream. Being submerged and entangled in webs corresponds with the sensation of being overwhelmed, which is a common symptom of anxiety. The spiders might symbolize intrusive thoughts or worries that are difficult to escape.
Your life events, particularly the recent breakup and the painful end of your relationship with Meredith, may be fueling this dream. The sense of loss and betrayal, as well as the feeling of being unsupported during times of struggle, are powerful emotions that can manifest as threatening elements in dreams, such as the disintegrating jetty and encroaching spiders.
The dream's imagery of falling and being trapped could also be rooted in past traumas, such as the experiences of assault you've endured. These events can leave a lasting impact, and their emotional residue may surface in the form of nightmares. The spiders' entanglement could be an expression of the lingering effects of these traumatic experiences on your psyche.
Overall, the dream seems to be a vivid reflection of the current turmoil you're facing, as well as past adversities that may still affect you. Your subconscious appears to be processing the feelings of instability, loss, and the need to regain control in a world that sometimes feels as precarious as a collapsing jetty surrounded by webs and lurking dangers.